Chapter 86 Intermission Sieglinde ~ Her Voiceless Thoughts ~ (2/2)
Putting myself into your shoes, I ask myself that question.
Fortunately, you still speak even to this mute me, and occasionally had tea wth me.
Do you remember it? When I asked you about a question I had during our first few teas, you said……
[That should be obvious, failing is scary, right? I mean, not too long ago, I was always thinking about the risks and stuff like the negative side of things, and I always end up not being able to act on anything.]
[………………]
[What about now? Yeah, I had some change in mentality…… It may be just a bit, even if it was really just a bit, but it has helped me to think positively. I’m now thinking that if I could somehow do something now if I do my best, but if I just give up without even trying, isn’t it quite a “shame”……]
[………………]
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[Ah, no, that’s actually also just something I heard before. However, once I was able to think like that, the pain I had been experiencing before became much easier. I was able to think about doing my best again, and persevering for a bit more.]
The way you said that, it was like you’re really shining…… You looked really wonderful.
Yes, I have a confession to make. I respect you, who is younger than me, with all my heart.
Seeing you work so hard and keep on going gives me courage…… and somehow, I also felt happiness.
I think it was around that time that your presence began to grow in me……
Did you know?
I’ve noticed how many of the people who weren’t happy with you before were now happily responding to your greeting……
As a matter of fact, you’re quite popular among the servants now.
Did you notice?
The changes you brought to the environment around you……
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That the chef who used to harass you now sometimes uses slightly better ingredients for your meals, that you have a maid who has always wanted to be in charge of making your bed in your room……
As far as I can see, there are a certain number of people who would have held their love for you if given the chance.
Did you know?
How big your existence has become in my life……
When I sensed that you were in danger, I was so worried that I felt my heart would break.
Did you notice?
When I was about to lose you, the feelings I had for you changed from respect to longing……
You probably didn’t even notice it. You are a very kind and nice person, but you seem to have a troubling habit of poorly-estimating yourself.
It’s quite inconvenient not being able to express these thoughts out loud but…… I think it should be enough for now.
Right now, I still don’t have the courage to tell you clearly either.
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So, it may be selfish of me but…… I will continue watching as you do your best, though I will have to ask you to share some of your courage.
And when I finally have the courage to take a step forward, I will share my thoughts with you.
I’m troubled since I have lots of rivals…… but borrowing your words, it would be a shame to give up without even trying.
So, from now on, I’m going to try my best too.
To approach you who I yearn for, even a little closer……
T/N: 7/10. Last chap for the day