Part 3 (2/2)

_Squire Headlong._ Bravo! Pa.s.s the bottle. The very best speech that ever was made.

_Mr Escot._ It has only the slight disadvantage of being unintelligible.

_Mr Panscope._ I am not obliged, sir, as Dr Johnson observed on a similar occasion, to furnish you with an understanding.

_Mr Escot._ I fear, sir, you would have some difficulty in furnis.h.i.+ng me with such an article from your own stock.

_Mr Panscope._ 'Sdeath, sir, do you question my understanding?

_Mr Escot._ I only question, sir, where I expect a reply; which, from things that have no existence, I am not visionary enough to antic.i.p.ate.

_Mr Panscope._ I beg leave to observe, sir, that my language was perfectly perspicuous, and etymologically correct; and, I conceive, I have demonstrated what I shall now take the liberty to say in plain terms, that all your opinions are extremely absurd.

_Mr Escot._ I should be sorry, sir, to advance any opinion that you would not think absurd.

_Mr Panscope._ Death and fury, sir----

_Mr Escot._ Say no more, sir. That apology is quite sufficient.

_Mr Panscope._ Apology, sir?

_Mr Escot._ Even so, sir. You have lost your temper, which I consider equivalent to a confession that you have the worst of the argument.

_Mr Panscope._ Lightning and devils! sir----

_Squire Headlong._ No civil war!--Temperance, in the name of Bacchus!--A glee! a glee!

_Music has charms to bend the knotted oak._ Sir Patrick, you'll join?

_Sir Patrick O'Prism._ Troth, with all my heart; for, by my soul, I'm bothered completely.

_Squire Headlong._ Agreed, then; you, and I, and Chromatic. b.u.mpers! Come, strike up.

Squire Headlong, Mr Chromatic, and Sir Patrick O'Prism, each holding a b.u.mper, immediately vociferated the following

GLEE

A heeltap! a heeltap! I never could bear it!

So fill me a b.u.mper, a b.u.mper of claret!

Let the bottle pa.s.s freely, don't s.h.i.+rk it nor spare it, For a heeltap! a heeltap! I never could bear it!

No skylight! no twilight! while Bacchus rules o'er us: No thinking! no shrinking! all drinking in chorus: Let us moisten our clay, since 'tis thirsty and porous: No thinking! no shrinking! all drinking in chorus!

GRAND CHORUS

_By Squire Headlong, Mr Chromatic, Sir Patrick O'Prism, Mr Panscope, Mr Jenkison, Mr Gall, Mr Treacle, Mr Nightshade, Mr Mac Laurel, Mr Cranium, Mr Milestone, and the Reverend Dr Gaster._

A heeltap! a heeltap! I never could bear it!

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