Part 5 (2/2)
Piety at home is friendly to that Quietness which is the ”work of righteousness, and its effect” also. She is the true gentlewoman, who nurtures most faithfully in herself the calm virtues of the domestic walk. Heaven is a tranquil abode; let the soul be attuned for its harmonies by the quiet measures of fireside melody.
I close by saying, that in the family we may best cultivate a Christian Spirituality. There may self-communion be enjoyed. There too can we indulge in the perusal of those writings, which invigorate our faith, and give a firmer tone to our religious sentiments and our moral principles and habits. Be frugal of your moments, and each day you will redeem the hour for this duty, which G.o.d and the future demand. Commune habitually with that Being, whose countenance beams brightly on our dwellings. It is morning; trust not yourself to the trials and temptations before you, without commending yourself to your Immortal Guardian. It is evening; enter the sanctuary of the Holiest,
”And take the thought of this calm vesper time, With its low murmuring sounds and silvery light, On through the dark days fading from their prime, As a sweet dew to keep your soul from blight.”
To all your literary acquisitions, and to every accomplishment, as a relative and a friend, add piety at home. That shall be an ornament of grace to thy neck. If G.o.d prosper your domestic ties, piety will give fresh zest to every homefelt joy. And should He call you to those trials, disappointments, and sorrows, of which, when they come on a household, woman must drink the dregs of the cup, how will you sustain them, without the love of G.o.d in your heart? Make Him your early trust, and He will gild the darkest cloud, with a ray of that mercy, which falls never so welcome as on the stricken heart.
”Earth may forsake--oh! happy to have given, The unbroken heart's first fragance unto Heaven.”
Chapter V.
SOCIETY.
Dangers on entering Society. Of cheris.h.i.+ng a Pa.s.sion for it.
Sensitiveness to Public Opinion. Dress; Miss Sedgwick's view of it; connected with virtues. Mrs. Hanc.o.c.k. Exposure of Health.
Affectation; of extreme sensibility; of insensibility.
Conversation for Effect. Entertainments. Nominal Morality. Two guards, Moral Independence, and Ingenuousness. Dangers in regard to your own s.e.x. Envy. The Swiss sisters. Jealousy. Detraction.
Ridicule. Flattery. Cultivate Gentleness. Dr. Bowring in regard to Ladies in the East. Kind Feelings. ”The art of being Pleased.”
Good Sense. Good Taste. Amus.e.m.e.nts. A holy Purpose.
We spoke, in the preceding chapter, of the paramount demands of home on the youthful female. This was represented as the central luminary of life. We are led naturally, in this place, to note those influences adverse to domestic piety. There are planets, in the moral heaven of woman, whose orbits are so eccentric, that their motions are of fearful import to her heart. When she enters society, an equal among elders, it is a trying exigency; a crisis then occurs in her character. Her temptations are numerous, while her moral energy is usually less decided than at subsequent periods.
Among the perils appertaining to this stage, of a general description, I name, first,
That of cheris.h.i.+ng a Pa.s.sion for Society, to the neglect of domestic duty. To one issuing from an ordinary light, into the broad glare of the sun, there is danger that the vision may suffer. How often has she, who might have graced her home through all coming years, had she retained her first love of it, failed and fallen from this height, by being overpowered by the dazzling charms of a round of new pleasures. In vain has a brother, distant from home, entreated that she continue a sisterly correspondence. To no purpose has the gentle voice of a mother been at length raised against her dissipating course. The spell of a sorcerer is upon her. She is a doomed woman; there, in the gay world, fluttering, perhaps the admired of all admirers. Her own hearth-stone is deserted; and what must we antic.i.p.ate, should she be placed at the head of a new household?
Another exposure, always to be feared in society, arises from the sensitiveness of woman to Public Opinion. In our country this influence brings danger and evil to both s.e.xes. The language of Cecil, if true of London, is more so of America. ”Doing as others do is the prevalent principle,” he affirms, ”of the present female character. This,--so far as it avails with man or woman,--is the ruin, death, and grave of all that is n.o.ble, and virtuous, and praiseworthy.” An inordinate desire to please every one is surely a snare to integrity and purity of character.
But who so tempted, in this respect, as a young, dependant, and almost helpless, female? Such are the customs of society, that woman is placed beneath the protection of man. A consciousness of this position cannot fail to awaken a strong desire for his favor. This sentiment, always active, will have a superadded sway over one just entering the path of social life. In future days she will gain, perhaps, new confidence in herself, and rely more on her inward resources, while in the world. But now, she must lean much upon others, and will, almost insensibly, conform unduly to their wishes and practices. Let a guard be early stationed at this post of peril.
In regard to her Dress, the young woman is liable to subject herself completely to that form of public opinion termed fas.h.i.+on. This power, elsewhere an idol, seems in the realm of dress a very Moloch. How often are our children cast into its fiery arms, and the cries of the victim, or rather the cries of duty, and reason, drowned by the harsh music of the world.
Not only at evening parties, in the streets, and at Lectures, but in the very house of G.o.d, you shall see the dominion of this tyrant. I quote, on this topic, an eminent female writer of our country. ”From your youth upwards you are accustomed to hear such remarks as follow: 'Did you observe Mrs. M.'s dress last Sunday? She must have got it from France; it was something so out of the common way, I could not take my eyes off from her all church time.' Another wore some article so old, or ill-fas.h.i.+oned, as to be unfit to be seen at church. A third looked so ugly in black that she 'must detest going into mourning.'” Now is not all this unworthy a rational and immortal being? Shall even the sanctuary be profaned by this polluting intruder? It is only our familiarity with such scenes, that prevents our shedding angel tears over this sin.
Why should it concern us, that Paris is glittering with some new token of her pa.s.sion for outward adorning? It is sad to see the devotion of this young republic to the customs and follies of the old world. The gardener tells us, that a tree or a flower, unless imported from abroad, has almost no value in the sight of our boasted horticulturists. Let us reform this spirit of servitude, and, repair to our own fields and forests for specimens of beauty. Let the good sense and the good taste of the American woman, shew to the nations abroad, that we will not servilely depend upon them, for every turn of a collar, or form of a bonnet. Had we more of ”the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,” yes, a quiet, contented, and Christian spirit, we should devise for ourselves meet fas.h.i.+ons and modes of apparel.
My reason for dwelling on this subject is, that it has important Moral relations. I do not deny that dress may be properly regarded, both from a reasonable conformity to custom, and as an expression of the sense of beauty. Nay, I believe it may minister to several of the virtues.
Neatness, economy and purity, rank high in the Christian scale of attainments, and all these are promoted by propriety of dress. It is indeed a good index of one's character. Modesty and simplicity, those prime moral qualities, are very often manifested by the mere materials, or the construction, or adjustment, of the dress. Let it never, therefore, be viewed as a matter of indifference. Still less should a lady excuse herself in negligence in this respect, even for the care of her family, or the culture of her mind. Least of all should she affect a total unconcern about dress. The wife of John Hanc.o.c.k was remarkable, to the close of her life, for her attention to the neatness and beauty of her apparel. ”I will never forgive,” said she, ”a young girl who does not dress to please, nor one who seems pleased with her dress.” Literary ladies are sometimes strangely negligent in this respect. They may imagine that carelessness about personal appearances will be taken for a proof of genius. But men do not thus judge. On the contrary, they regard her as truly great, who is eminent for learning and talents, and at the same time not unmindful of dress and manners.
The sin of this matter lies in a breathless devotion to outward adorning. This is fatal to the inward and Christian graces. She who foregoes a reasonable regard to economy, for the sake of dress, is decidedly culpable. We are told that ”a collection of three hundred and fifty pounds was once made for the celebrated Cuzzona, to save her from absolute want; but that she no sooner got the money than she laid out two hundred pounds of it in the purchase of a sh.e.l.l cap, which was just then in fas.h.i.+on!” Something of the same prodigality is often exhibited, only on a smaller scale. She who thinks more of her apparel than of her language, more of adopting the latest fas.h.i.+on than of conversing with intelligence, and demeaning herself as becomes a disciple of Jesus, must beware of her moral exposure.
Let it not be conceived, that whatever of error woman exhibits in her attachment to fas.h.i.+on is to be charged on her s.e.x alone. The other s.e.x have, in too many instances, extolled and idolized foreign modes of dress. It has been to gratify man,--and he knew the disposition that prompted it,--that such folly and excess have been shown in her apparel.
Yet will I say that it is not so with us all; few, very few of our s.e.x are propitiated by an extravagant care for fas.h.i.+ons. Most men are pained by the attenuated forms and pale countenances of those, who are slaves to every new mode of dress. They prefer the bloom of health, and the evidences of good taste, good sense, purity and propriety, seen in a well-dressed female, to the caricatures sanctioned only by the name of some foreign city.
The care of a young lady's health is another interest affected much by her entrance into society. The little girl is a picture of bloom and buoyancy. And why? Because fas.h.i.+on permits her to sport in the freedom of nature. The laws of G.o.d are allowed, in her case, to be so regarded as to secure her health. But for our young lady, it were rude and disreputable in her to indulge in those bodily exercises essential to her physical wellbeing.
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