Part 20 (1/2)

She blinked at him, pressing close, wanting him to touch her again, feel her, come inside her with his fingers. He touched his forehead to hers, his breathing so heavy he wondered what would happen if she was to suddenly touch him. ”What do you want me to do?” ”Stop squirming against me.” ”Was I doing that? Yes, I suppose that I am. I don't know what to do. Please.”

”Even if the sainted departed Andre was a pig, surely you know what to do to please a man. I'm just a man, Evangeline. Nothing at all different about me.” He kissed her lightly, still fighting for control.

”Well, if you're certain that you're no different, then of course I understand.” But he'd heard the discordant note in her voice and she saw that he had. She pulled his head down to hers and began kissing him with urgency and pa.s.sion and not a single whit of skill.

He thought, quite simply, that it would be all over for him. He jerked away from her, panting so hard, he wondered if he'd survive it. ”No,” he said. ”This is worse. Now I can see you instead of feel you against me. All right, enough of this or I'll go quite mad.” But he couldn't help himself. He was on her, kissing her until they were both trembling. His hands were frantic on her hips, caressing her until she threw back her head and keened with the power of it. Then, to his immense pleasure, she was pulling and jerking at his clothes. She was trying to kiss him and at the same time unb.u.t.ton his waistcoat. Then she realized she couldn't manage it. She howled a curse. He laughed, but it wasn't the least bit funny, not when he knew he was hovering on the edge of sanity. He shoved her away and pulled off his clothes more quickly than he'd ever done in his life. He swept her up into his arms and nearly ran to the huge bed set high on its dais. He dropped her in the middle of the bed, managed to light a half dozen candles on the branch beside his bed, and stood, staring down at her.

”I've never seen a woman I've wanted more than I want you,” he said, and the truth of his words filled him to his very soul. Then he stood over her. ”Evangeline, what's the matter? Why are you staring at me, your mouth open?”

”You're naked,” she said, never looking away from his groin. ”You're very naked.” She licked her lips, nearly sending his body into spasms. ”Like you were coming out of the sea, but not really just like that.” He stood there, pulsing with life and urgency. ”Now you're so different from me I know this won't work. It won't. I take it all back. I don't want a lover. I want to go to my own bed and pull my nightgown over my head.”

”Oh, Lord,” he said, and began to laugh. He started to say something about the departed Andre's male endowments, but he wanted to get between her legs, right now.

”I'm not about to hurt you. I would hurt myself before I'd ever hurt you. Come now, love. No, don't close your eyes. A man wants his lover to look at him, perhaps even admire him.” He leaned over and lightly laid his palm on her belly. He said nothing more, did nothing more, just stood there, his palm warm and large, just lying on her stomach. Then, very slowly, his fingers moved downward, and soon she was holding her breath, looking at his face, her eyes open very wide, knowing he was studying her, looking at her, looking at his fingers that were touching her. She opened her mouth, heaved upward against his fingers, and yelled. He lifted his fingers from her warm flesh, and she sucked in her breath. She looked utterly disappointed. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were heaving, and he didn't know what to do first. He wanted everything at once.

”What you did,” she whispered, her eyes on his face, ”what you did. That is something I never imagined. Is that normally done? Would you do it again?”

”d.a.m.nation,” he said, and came down beside her. He leaned his head to her breast and took her in his mouth. She was filled with pa.s.sion, but oddly, she didn't seem to know what to do to heighten her pleasure, how to guide him to please her more. He suckled her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and again he let his hand skim over her ribs to her belly. She was squirming against him, her breath coming in short gasps, and her fingers were squeezing his shoulders. ”Please,” she said, and he said against her breast, ”All right.” His fingers were over her, then one eased up inside her. She cried out even as her hips jerked upward.

”Easy,” he said into her mouth. He would give her pleasure first. She was very close. ”I want you to look at me now, Evangeline.”

Her head was twisting back and forth on the pillow.

”Look at me now.”

She did. He looked at her when he found her with his fingers, when his fingers slicked over her soft woman's flesh, and in but a moment of time, her eyes turned wild and vague, and she was breathing so hard she was nearly choking. And she never looked away from him.

”Now come to me,” he said, and kissed her as his fingers caressed her and loved her until he felt a tightening in her, a tensing of her legs, felt the wonderful tremors that started deep inside her. He raised his head and watched her release wash over her and through her.

She wondered if she was dying; then she didn't care, just let herself be thrown from one height to another. She was crying and tossing, then shouting when her body seemed to lock in an arc of pleasure so intense it felled her. She went limp then, feeling small pulsing waves of pleasure feeding through her, and wondering when she could do this again. She looked up into his face, dark and harshly beautiful. She smiled up at him and said, her voice low and scratchy, ”Thank you. I never imagined that anything could be quite so wonderful.” She closed her eyes a moment at the delicious warmth that was stealing through her, softening her, easing her mind, and she knew that she wanted more than anything to belong to him. But that couldn't happen. No, all she could have was this one night with him. She felt tears trail down her cheeks; a sob burst out of her mouth. She reared up, burying her face against his chest.

Although he didn't understand her, something he was growing rather used to, he set himself to soothe her, his fierce pa.s.sion temporarily in check. But sweeping his hands down her back, pressing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against him, kissing her ears, her throat, all soon had quite another effect on her. Evangeline didn't question any of it. Her tears dried quickly as her hands stroked down his back. It was she who sought out his mouth, saying between kisses, ”Yes, please. Just tell me what to do.”

He studied her face, drawn to the vague, smoky sheen in her eyes. His hand caressed her belly, and he felt the taut muscles tense beneath his fingers. Her flesh was smooth, like slick silk.

She tried to move upward against him, but he pressed her back. ”No, lie still. My mouth this time, not my fingers.”

And he moved between her legs, kissing her belly, his fingers probing her, finding her and sliding into her. When his mouth touched her, she lurched upward, panting so hard she wondered if her heart would burst.

She yelled his name. He raised his head a moment, and grinned up at her, a very male grin, filled with pleasure and satisfaction. ”Hold still. No, twist and turn about as much as you want. Yell, Evangeline. Yes, that's it. Now, come to me again.” Any embarra.s.sment disappeared in an instant. She bit his shoulder, her fingers tangling in his hair, and she cried, her pleasure was so intense and binding. As she flew out of control, he jerked away from her, pulled her thighs wide, and came into her hard.

She was hot and so tight he gritted his teeth not to tear through her. He slowed himself, but it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He was stretching her. He looked down at her face and saw that she was still now, no longer squirming beneath him. Now she was staring at him.

She was afraid. He saw it clearly on her face, but he didn't understand. G.o.d, he wanted her so badly. He went into her more deeply. She moaned, her hands grabbing his arms to hold him still.

”Hold still, Evangeline, it will be all right. Just hold still for me. You'll become used to me. I'm going as slowly as I can.” And he eased deeper, and her fingers dug deeper into his arms.

”No, please stop, please. It hurts. I didn't think it would hurt. You told me you wouldn't hurt me. I believed you.”

He made himself stop. He held himself perfectly still as he balanced himself over her on his hands. ”Get used to me. Yes, you can do it.”

She eased, just a bit, and he went deeper. Then he froze. He stared down at her, disbelieving. He was b.u.t.ting against her maidenhead. Her d.a.m.ned maidenhead. Dearly departed saintly Andre had never existed. Her eyes were wide upon his face as he stared at her. And he thought the words very clearly: You didn't even realize I would know you were a virgin. Just thinking those words made him go mad.

Before either of them could breathe another breath, he drove forward. ”I know it hurts. Just hang onto me.”

She screamed, but this time it was pain, not pleasure, that tightened her body, that made her muscles lock. ”No, hold on. Don't fight me. There, I'll hold still. I'm inside you now, all the way inside you, and you won't have any more pain. Hold still for me. That's right.” He ducked his head down and kissed her, hard and deep as he was in her body.

She moved, and it nearly drove him over the edge. ”Lie still. You must or I'll be gone from you.”

”No, I want you to stay with me,” she said, kissing and biting his throat, his shoulders. ”Why did it hurt?” He laughed, then moaned as once again she s.h.i.+fted beneath him. ”It won't ever hurt again.”

She was trembling beneath him. He didn't know whether it was still pain or if his weight was too much for her. In another moment, though, it didn't matter. She moved once again, and it was over for him. He gritted his teeth against the power of his need, his voice deep and hoa.r.s.e. ”I've tried, I've truly tried to distract myself, and you, but it's just no good.”

He tried to calm himself, to move just a bit inside her, but it was no good, just no d.a.m.ned good. He heaved over her like a savage, groaned into her mouth like a madman, and then he flew apart, reveling in every moment, knowing more pleasure than he'd ever imagined possible.

As he calmed, as he kissed her ear, he heard her say, ”I love you. I've loved you probably from that first evening in your library when you thought I was a former mistress. I'll love you forever.”

He managed to pull himself up on his elbows. He smiled down at her. ”Good,” he said. ”I know.” He collapsed over her, his head on the pillow beside hers. ”Never,” he said, close to her ear, ”never will I let you out of my sight again.”

Chapter 34.

He waited for her to say more, but she didn't.

He came up over her again, balancing himself on his elbows.

He saw her bite her lower lip, and close her eyes before he could look at her, but still, she wasn't fast enough. He saw a wrenching pain. He felt instant, blinding fury. ”What the h.e.l.l is going on, Evangeline?”

She looked at him, felt him still deep inside her, felt the tensing and easing of her muscles around him, and said, ”I didn't mean to say that. It was very nice, but it's over now, even though you're still inside me and I've never felt anything like this in my life, and I don't want it to stop, ever.” ”Now there's a bit of news.” She refused to rise to the bait, which was probably a good thing, since she didn't understand. She said nothing because there was nothing more to say.

”I'm crus.h.i.+ng you,” he said, and pulled out of her. He rolled onto his back, grabbing her as he moved, and pulled her against him. He felt her sigh deeply as she pressed her face against his shoulder. Her hand was palm down on his belly. He kissed her forehead and said, ”You make me nearly blind with rage when you refuse to trust me. I believe you have a lot to tell me now.”

She tried to rear up, but he held her down. ”Talk to me,” he said. ”Now. Trust me.”

She bit his shoulder, then raised her head and yelled right in his face, ”Why can't you leave me alone? Why must you push and shove and prod? You're worse than a nanny I had for a very short time when I was six years old. She picked, picked, picked. Just stop it. I have nothing at all to say to you, nothing. Leave me alone, your grace.”

”Your grace? For G.o.d's sake, woman, we have just made love-can't you bring yourself to call me by my name?”

”You're 'The Duke' to me. That's your name.” ”Very well,” he said. ”I can bear that for the moment. I'm a t.i.tle to you. Dear G.o.d, you will age me before my time.” He squeezed her very hard against him. He waited a few moments. ”All right. Talk to me, now.”

Another lie, Evangeline. You must lie to him again. No, redo the lie, make him believe you this time. It's over. Her voice was muddled, for she could not bring herself to look at him. ”I don't love you. It's merely that you pushed me to feel such things that just forced the words out of me. I believe that's how men make women succ.u.mb to them. They make them feel these wild feelings, make them drop their wits to the floor, and it's all over for the women. Indeed, you're unquestionably the most exciting man I've yet met. Thank you for the pleasure. It's all I wanted from you, nothing more. I already told you that. Believe it.” She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly against him. What was he thinking? Would he yell at her? To her bewilderment, he burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed. She wanted to kill him.

Finally he said, ”I'm glad you didn't spit all that out when I was inside you. It would have shriveled me fast.” And he laughed some more. ”It's the truth. Let me go. Leave me alone.” ”So I'm the most skilled of all your lovers to date?” ”Even though it will puff you up all the more, I told you the truth. Yes, d.a.m.n you.” ”Even though I hurt you?”