Part 25 (1/2)

This city mania is a very extraordinary disease in the United States, and is the cause of much disappointment to the traveller. In the Iowa territory, I once asked a farmer my way to Dubuque.

”A stranger, I reckon,” he answered; ”but no matter, the way is plain enough. Now, mind what I say. After you have forded the river, you will strike the military road till you arrive in the prairie; then you ride twenty miles east, till you arrive at Caledonia city; there they will tell you all about it.”

I crossed the river, and, after half an hour's fruitless endeavours, I could not find the military road, so I forded back, and returned to my host.

”Law!” he answered; ”why, the trees are blazed on each side of the road.”

Now, if he had told me that at first, I could not have mistaken, for I had seen the blazing of a bridle-path; but as he had announced a military road, I expected, what it imported, a military road. I resumed my journey and entered the prairie. The rays of the sun were very powerful, and, wis.h.i.+ng to water my horse, I hailed with delight a miserable hut, sixteen feet square, which I saw at about half a mile from the trail. In a few minutes I was before the door, and tied my horse to a post, upon which was a square board bearing some kind of hieroglyphics on both sides. Upon a closer inspection, I saw upon one side ”Ice,” and upon the other, ”POSTOFF.”

”A Russian, a Swede, or a Norwegian,” thought I, knowing that Iowa contained eight or ten thousand emigrants of these countries.

”Ice--well, that is a luxury rarely to be found by a traveller in the prairie, but it must be pretty dear; no matter, have some I must.”

I entered the hut, and saw a dirty woman half-naked, and slumbering upon a stool, by the corner of the chimney.

”Any milk?” I inquired, rousing her up.

She looked at me and shook her head; evidently she did not understand me; however, she brought me a stone jug full of whisky, a horn tumbler, and a pitcher of water.

”Can you give my horse a pail of water?” I asked again.

The woman bent down her body, and dragging from under the bed a girl of fourteen, quite naked, and with a skin as tough as that of an alligator, ordered her to the well with a large bucket. Having thus provided for my beast, I sat upon a stump that served for a chair, and once more addressed my hostess.

”Now, my good woman, let us have the ice.”

”The what?” she answered.

As I could not make her understand what I wanted, I was obliged to drink the whisky with water almost tepid, and my horse being refreshed, I paid my fare and started.

I rode for three hours more, and was confident of having performed twice the distance named by mine host of the morning, and yet the prairie still extended as far as the eye could reach, and I could not perceive the city of Caledonia. Happily, I discovered a man at a distance riding towards me: we soon met.

”How far,” said I, ”to Caledonia city?”

”Eighteen miles,” answered the traveller.

”Is there no farm on the way?” I rejoined, ”for my horse is tired.”

The horseman stared at me in amazement ”Why, Sir,” he answered, ”you turn your back to it; you have pa.s.sed it eighteen miles behind.”

”Impossible!” I exclaimed: ”I never left the trail, except to water my horse at a little hut.”

”Well,” he answered, ”that was at General Hiram Was.h.i.+ngton Tippet's; he keeps the post-office--why, Sir, that was Caledonia city.”

I thanked him, unsaddled my horse, and bivouacked where I was, laughing heartily at my mistake in having asked for _ice_, when the two sides of the board made _post-office._

But I must return to Boston and its court-house. As it was the time of the a.s.sizes, some fifty or sixty individuals had come from different quarters, either to witness the proceedings, or to swap their horses, their saddles, their bowie-knife, or anything; for it is while law is exercising its functions that a Texan is most anxious to swap, to cheat, to gamble, and to pick pockets and quarrel under its nose, just to show his independence of all law.

The dinner-bell rang a short time after our arrival, and for the first time in my life I found myself at an American _table-d'hote_. I was astonished, as an Indian well might be. Before my companions and self had had time to sit down and make choice of any particular dish, all was disappearing like a dream. A general opposite to me took hold of a fowl, and in the twinkling of an eye, severed the wings and legs. I thought it was polite of him to carve for others as well as himself, and was waiting for him to pa.s.s over the dish after he had helped himself, when, to my surprise, he retained all he had cut off, and pushed the carcase of the bird away from him. Before I had recovered from my astonishment, his plate was empty. Another seized a plate of cranberries, a fruit I was partial to, and I waited for him to help himself first and then pa.s.s the dish over to me; but he proved to be more greedy than the general, for, with an enormous horn spoon, he swallowed the whole.

The table was now deserted by all except by me and my companions, who, with doleful faces, endeavoured to appease our hunger with some stray potatoes. We called the landlord, and asked him for something to eat; it was with much difficulty that we could get half a dozen of eggs and as many slices of salt pork. This lesson was not thrown away upon me; and afterwards, when travelling in the States, I always helped myself before I was seated, caring nothing for my neighbours. Politeness at meals may be and is practised in Europe, or among the Indians, but among the Americans it would be attended with starvation.

After dinner, to kill time, we went to the court-house, and were fortunate enough to find room in a position where we could see and hear all that was going on.