Chapter 12 (2/2)

Only after we hung up did I realise that I didn’t tell him I was calling from my cell.

The rascal was super busy the following months. No breaks. Cell phone was always off, too.

Looking at the new home made me feel downcast. I did not have a good time if he was not there. I couldn’t cook that well either, so I ended up going back to my parents’ place.

Was I being too naive?

The sound of him gasping for air was still echoing in my ears.

What was he doing? Fighting and killing people? He gave me a few calls but he never talked about his job. He just kept saying, it’s good, everything is good, don’t worry about him and he’ll be back when he gets time. How could I not worry? My heart practically flew to Shanghai. However, I was actually quite busy with three shops to run. I did not even have time to stock up on merchandise and had to pre-order it and get it delivered.

Time usually pa.s.sed super duper fast for me but during those months, a day felt like a year.

Bored out of my mind, I started using the computer.

And I became a netizen by the end of 2000.

Not long after I went online, I read Beijing Story. I had already read all of the BL novels and seen all the gay films in the shop but those were all from outside of Mainland China. The only legitimate Chinese-made gay film had to be West Palace, East Palace—super dark.

I did not get a wink of sleep that night.

I missed him like crazy.

You and I would never be like that! Never!

I even went on a website for gay people.

Even though I was one, I had never been in the circle. It was as if there were only the two of us in the entire world. All of a sudden, the circle was right there. Gay meet-ups were all over the place in Wuxi and Suzhou, let alone Shanghai.

He was 183 centimetres tall, good-looking, young, strong and in Shanghai.

I realised I was starting to feel self-conscious.

And I missed him even more.

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