Chapter 8 (2/2)

The arrow was nocked and ready to go so I couldn’t stop myself. With his hand’s guidance, I steadied his waist and went for it. I had prepared for failure and even was considering with the remaining brain cells the possibility of using vanis.h.i.+ng cream as lubricant when I went all the way in.

He was tight but it was definitely not his first time, nor his second or third time, but his nth time. But I couldn’t care less. It felt so d.a.m.n good. I just kept going and going and going. Only when I was done feeling good did I notice he was quivering a little. Okay, not just a little. He was practically shaking like a leaf and his back was covered with sweat.

“Does it hurt. I’m–”

He didn’t make a sound but I spotted his hands clinging tightly onto the bar on the side of the cot.

How could I be so stupid? I quickly reached down to his b.u.t.t. It wasn’t bleeding. I knew it wasn’t bleeding but his little guy was all shrunken up.

“Binbin , does it hurt? I’m so sorry. Say something, won’t you?”

“I’m. Okay.” It sounded like he was speaking through clenched teeth. “I’ll. Letchu. Off this time. Just you. Wait ‘til my turn.”

It made me feel even worse seeing him taunting me and trying to make me feel better while suffering so much pain.

Really, this guy.

I held him and let him lie on top of me with his chin on my shoulder. He liked this position.

I swept my hand back and forth on his back. It was not as smooth as his thighs. I guessed there were some scars.

After some deliberation, I still asked, “Did that Wu guy do anything to you when you were in the detention centre?”

I felt him stiffen. He did not reply.

I felt so guilty.

It was completely understandable for him to not have pleaded for homicide out of self-defense. I mean, who would want other people to know about those things? Yet, what I had just done…

The next thing I knew, he was kissing me.

“It wasn’t self-defense. I started beating the c.r.a.p outta him before he could do anything.”

I didn’t believe him.

“Believe it or not.”

“But Binbin–”

“I just hate people like him.” I could hear the chilling, murderous intent in his voice. I believed him.

Is that so? But then why?

I really wanted to ask: Before me, who else did you…

But he was so tired, I couldn’t possibly ask that.

Let the past be the past. I just wanted to be with him.

When I woke up in the morning, he was already getting dressed.

There were many pale, white scars on his back, only a bit lighter than his skin colour—probably old wounds. There was also a brown, fist-sized scar near his waist of unknown origin.

Ding Hongmei’s lover was a s.a.d.i.s.tic brute.

He noticed that I had woken up so he whisked around. “You’re peeking again!”

I stuck my arms out. “Come snuggle, Binbin.”

“Cheesy.” He dived on top of me. Thank G.o.d the cot was st.u.r.dy.

I hugged him tight, really, really tight. “You f.u.c.k me next time.”

“Don’t need to say that twice. I’m a pro.”

×××

He went to Shanghai the next day.

I wanted to ask him to stay. But I was a bit too shy.

He laughed at me.

And promised to study hard and not go down the wrong path.

But he broke that promise.

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