Part 26 (1/2)
Lesson One: Never, ever ruin a woman's Christmas Suzie glanced up, her heart beating so loudly she was surprised they couldn't hear it. Drew was still totally wide-eyed; Gareth thankfully was looking vaguely interested whilst Alex was staring at her as if she was a complete lunatic.
She felt like she was having an out of body experience. As though she was watching someone else make a complete fool of herself a or maybe that was wishful thinking. She tried very hard to look in control and confident as she leant forward to pull the speaker phone from the middle of the table towards her.
”Now for a practical demonstration,” she said pressing the redial b.u.t.ton and sensing the three men in the room looking at each other in confusion. The phone rang out filling the silence until someone could be heard picking it up.
”h.e.l.lo, Pauline speaking,' said a woman's voice.
”h.e.l.lo Mrs. Collingwood!” Suzie jumped in before Alex could express his astonishment that she was calling his mother in the middle of a team meeting. ”It's Suzie here again and I've got Alex with me.”
”Right dear. How is he?”
”Oh he's being very brave Mrs. Collingwood.”
”Is he? That's good. I'm so glad you called me Suzie. I've been thinking about it all morning. I know it's very hard when you end a relations.h.i.+p but it's so kind of you to worry about how Alex is going to cope.”
”With parents like you to help, Mrs. Collingwood I'm sure he'll pull through.”
”Well we are always here for him, he knows that. Do you want to put him on and I'll ask him shall I?”
”Of course. Here he is.” Suzie elbowed Alex in the ribs.
”What are you doing,” he mouthed to her.
”Just say h.e.l.lo,” she mouthed back.
”Er, hi mum,” he said holding his hands up in utter confusion.
”Oh, Alex I'm so sorry it's not worked out with Suzie. When she called to tell me she'd ended it I could have cried for you, really I could. And she said you were taking it badly and that what you were most worried about was spending Christmas alone. Well young man you don't have to worry yourself about that anymore. Of course we'd love to have you here with us. It's been so long. And all your little nieces and nephews will love having their favourite Uncle Alex around for a change to play with them. I've already called your sisters and it's all set. A Collingwood family Christmas is just what you need to get yourself out of the doldrums.”
Alex sat opening and closing his mouth.
”But Mum...” he finally managed to sputter out as he stared red-faced at Suzie. ”I was going to...”
”No buts young man, you are spending Christmas in the bosom of your family and that's that. We'll sort you out son. Soon have you back to your chipper self. Now I've got to go as your Dad's taking me down to Sainsbury's to get the pick of the crackers. I'll call you later to see if you've had a good day. Chin up son. Bye.”
The phone went dead and for a moment there was silence in the room. Suzie hadn't really thought forward to this point in the meeting. Her heart was still beating exceptionally fast but she could feel something else, sparked by the look of shock and dismay on Alex's face. Something that felt distinctly like triumph, joy even. What she really wanted to do was stand in Alex's face and let out a highly juvenile ”Waaaaaaaaaah.” She glanced at Drew. His eyebrows were still AWOL but he was nodding and smiling approvingly whilst casting the odd nervous glance at Gareth.
”Continue,” barked Gareth suddenly breaking the silence as Alex continued to reel.
”What?” shrieked Alex. ”But she's...” he started.
”Stop,” said Gareth holding his hand up to Alex. ”I said you could talk when it was your turn. Now I want to see the rest of what she's got. Carry on Suzie.”
”Okay,” she said. Not sacked yet, that had to be good. She pressed the b.u.t.ton to move onto the next slide.
Lesson Two: Never ever use a text to break bad news.
She reached down and picked up her mobile phone, pressed a few b.u.t.tons then put it back on the table, folded her arms and smiled straight at Alex. A few seconds later his phone bleeped causing him to leap up in his chair like it was a time bomb.
”Aren't you going to pick up your text then?” she asked.
”What, now?” he said.
”Now,” she found herself bellowing.
She'd never seen him so wary of the device that was normally either glued to his ear or his fingers. He picked it up cautiously and clicked the b.u.t.tons necessary to open the text she'd sent him. He looked at her nervously before glancing down to read it. Less than a second later he'd dropped the phone on the floor as though it had burned him.
”You're insane,” he screeched. ”Tell her to stop,” he shouted at Gareth.
Gareth said nothing, just raised his eyebrows questioningly at Suzie.
She bent forward to click onto the next slide.
*This is the text that Alex has just received,” she explained to Gareth and Drew as three words appeared on the screen.