Part 10 (1/2)
”Oh yes, they are very common these days, what with working mums,” replied Alison.
”But how does it work?” he asked.
”Well there is a suction cup that goes over the breast attached to a pump. The suction pulls the nipple in and out just like a baby sucking,” said Alison. ”And everything can be sterilized so it is very hygienic,” she added, suddenly aware that Ben was looking slightly aghast.
”Oh I have no doubt it's all very clean, it's just that the thought of you ladies attaching yourselves to a machine that sucks your nipple in and out is a bit weird... isn't it?”
No-one said anything.
”Come on don't look at me like that. It's hard on us men. We're programmed to fantasise about the female body, right Matthew? From p.u.b.erty we dream of seeing b.o.o.bs in the flesh, never mind touching them. Then as we get older we're allowed to become more familiar with the female form then suddenly, just as you think you've got your hands on the d.a.m.n things, bang, you have to forget every dream you ever had. Now the object of your affection has been taken over by a baby who has no idea how lucky they are or worse a d.a.m.n machine. A machine is allowed to fondle your woman's t.i.ts but you're not.”
Matthew, Katy and Alison all stared at Ben when he had finished.
”That was lovely Alison. Shall we move onto main course?” said Katy after a pause, now even keener to hurry the evening along.
”Of course,” said Alison getting up immediately. ”Matthew, would you help me clear away?”
”Ben, you might want to wind it down a little” said Katy after they had left the room.
”Why? What did I say?”
”I don't really think the whole b.o.o.b fantasy gone wrong thing was entirely appropriate.”
”I was only trying to make conversation and break the ice a bit. Trouble is I think the ice has frozen up her a.s.s. Boy does she need to relax. And can she only talk about b.l.o.o.d.y babies? We have got to get her off the subject or else I am going to have to get very, very drunk.”
”Sssssh they're coming back,” hissed Katy. ”Just tone it down please.”
”Here we are. Now this is pot-roasted poussin with honeyed parsnips and mustard mash. Hope you like it,” said Alison.
”Looks wonderful,” said Ben with a huge grin aimed directly at Alison's now rather frosty smile.
Alison thawed slightly as she watched Ben dig his knife into his poussin's chest with gusto.
”So have you got your route to hospital all planned out Ben?” she asked. ”We've tried several options at different times of day just to check which is quickest.”
Ben stared at her in amazement, still chewing. ”Depends,” he said finally.
”On what?” she asked.
”On whether I will be travelling from home or from Edinburgh.”
”Edinburgh,” she said, her turn to look amazed. ”Why on earth would you be travelling from there?”
”I'm going there on a stag-do in a couple of weeks time.”
Alison almost dropped her knife and fork in shock.
”You're going on a stag-do just before Katy gives birth?” she said.
”Yes,” said Ben as if he expected that to be the end of it.
Alison turned to direct her line of questioning at Katy.
”Aren't you worried Katy? I have to say if Matthew asked if he could go on a stag-do just before I was due to give birth I'd tell him not to go.”
”It's only in Edinburgh, it's not that far,” said Katy defensively. ”I don't tell Ben what he can and can't do,” she added, glancing over at Matthew.
Alison stared her for a moment as if she had just arrived from another planet before she got up from her chair. ”Well good for you,” she said clearing away the plates. ”I just hope you have someone on standby if those contractions start. I wouldn't want to be on my own for that.”
Matthew, Katy and Ben sat in silence listening to the kitchen door squeak quietly back and forth behind Alison.
”Suppose she does have a point really,” said Matthew. ”You wouldn't want to be on your own would you?”
”Look let's change the subject shall we. It's not going to happen. It's nearly two weeks before and if I do start I'll have to call Daniel,” said Katy, realising that worryingly he was her only option.
”Does it have to be Daniel?” said Ben. ”I like the guy, I really do, but if it is a boy in there I'd like to give him half a chance of coming out on the right side.”
”Well you won't have much choice will you if you're not there,” said Matthew a bit too quickly and sharply.
”Hey, I thought you'd be on my side mate,” said Ben, slightly taken aback.
”Well I am but,” said Matthew, taking a pause, ”I know if it were my child I wouldn't take any risk at all that I might not be around.” He looked down quickly knowing he had crossed a line.
”It's my best mate, I can't miss it. I can get the train back in about five hours or I can get a flight that takes an hour. I've got all the details and Katy's cool, aren't you love?”
”Yeah, sure,” said Katy somewhat shocked at the mention of a five-hour travel time but even more disturbed by what Matthew had said.
The kitchen door recommenced its squeak as Alison swept back into the room with a large tray.
”I've done something really simple for desert if you don't mind. But it is one of my favourites.”
Matthew jumped up to help her and unloaded four small gla.s.s plates onto the table, each holding an a.s.sortment of frozen berries.
Ben looked at Katy with a questioning look on his face almost as if to ask permission to speak. Katy looked quizzically back, not sure what he was up to now.
Ben looked at the plate in front of him again. Then picked up a raspberry, put it in his mouth and crunched down hard.
”Christ that's cold,” he said, clutching his jaw.
”No Ben,” said Alison. ”Look, you pour this melted white chocolate over the berries to thaw them. Now try.”
Ben tried again, swirling the food around in his mouth several times to ensure adequate defrosting.
”Nice,” he said finally. ”Reckon even I could do that.”
”So Katy, I'd love to know what Matthew was like at school,” said Alison having clearly decided whilst in the kitchen that they needed a change of subject. Katy's heart sank even deeper. This was really hard work and she was tired. How was she going to get out of this one alive? The image of Alison with the axe on the moors reappeared in her mind.