Part 2 (2/2)
”That's enough now lad,” said Mr. Gelding, who had been Matthew's form teacher at some point. He looked about fifty then and he still looked fifty now.
”You're not at school now you know,” he said with a twinkle in his eye and smile at the corner of his mouth. No doubt he hadn't liked Robert either.
”I think you'd better take him home love, go on before Robert insists that he's thrown out.” He smiled at Katy and wandered away.
It was then that Matthew realised his hand felt like an elephant had stamped on it.
”f.u.c.k me,” he cried as he doubled up and cradled it. ”For a fat lad that Robert must have a jawbone made of steel.”
Katy looked him up and down and then nodded as if she had just decided something important. She stood up straight and said, ”Right then, let's get you out of here and sort that hand out.”
She reached out and grabbed his injured hand, and squeezed it as hard as she possibly could whilst pulling him across the hall. He was shouting in agony the whole way to the door but there was no way she was letting go or acknowledging the fact that she was hurting him, in fact the louder he shouted the harder she seemed to squeeze.
As soon as they got into the relative quiet of the corridor outside the hall she dropped his hand like a stone and turned to face him.
”Do you know what that was for?” she said glaring at him in a way that made it clear a random guess would not be welcome. He remained quiet, not daring to speak.
”That was for being a complete and utter a.r.s.ehole, and a s.h.i.+t and every single bad name I could ever think of,” she shouted in his face. Then she gripped both his shoulders and kneed him swiftly in the groin. ”And now we will never speak of it again. Is that clear?” she demanded.
”OK,” he whispered, the pain making his eyes water.
”Now let me have a look at that hand,” she said, thrusting her own hand out. Matthew whimpered slightly and took a step back.
”Are you mad? After what you just did?” he gasped.
”Necessary, Matthew, necessary,” she said. ”Now come on, I won't inflict any further damage, I promise, and I am the first aider for my floor at work. I got the best score in the theory test if you must know.”
”My, you have come a long way,” he said relieved to see her smile faintly as he gingerly raised his hand.
”I think it's a pea job. Big bag of peas to reduce the swelling and it will be fine.”
”Marvellous. Know any good pea shops open at midnight?” he asked.
”Well as long as you think your wife won't mind, I think I have a bag of pet.i.t pois that could do the job at my flat, and you can call a cab from there.”
”How'd you know I was married?”
”Gold ring on your left hand is a bit of a giveaway, Matthew.”
”Oh yeah. What about you then,” he said looking at her left hand.
”No, not married. You see I had a very bad experience with a man when I was young and became a lesbian; you'll meet Lisa and Rachel when we get back to the flat. We are currently doing a three-way.”
”s.h.i.+t, no, you are kidding me right?” said Matthew, his eyes as big as saucers.
”Yeah you're right, in my dreams a three-way. No, it's just Lisa.”
”I see,” said Matthew, unable to think of an appropriate answer.
She threw her head back and laughed.
”Your face,” she said eventually. ”Actually I'm not a lesbian and the reason I know that is because I have a boyfriend called Ben who is a PE teacher, as fit as they come, with thighs to die for and eight years younger than me,” she said with a hint of triumph that said, that showed you, you two-timing w.a.n.ker.
”Right, maybe I'd better go back to my hotel then. Don't want to get punched by some rugby maniac.”
”No, don't worry, he's away at a stag-do and he wouldn't mind anyway, he's very laid back.”
”OK then Miss Chapman; take me to your pea stash.”
Chapter 5.
Three hours later the bag of peas were luke warm but still draped over Matthew's knuckles, albeit very limply. They had pretty much filled each other in on their lives since they last saw each other. Much careful editing had occurred to start with, but they got more and more honest as they plunged headlong into their third bottle of wine.
Katy had of course left out the devastation Matthew's drunken s.h.a.g left behind, preferring to hammer home her raft of men since then. Matthew, grateful not to dwell on the period after his indiscretion focused on how he had finally found himself a career and settled down after a few years of jobbing around. He mentioned Alison but found he didn't really want to talk about her too much, particularly given their conversations that day.
Only when they had clearly displayed to each other that they were totally secure and in control of their current lives, and when they were really quite drunk, did it feel safe to reminisce.
They found themselves crying with laughter at some of the things they had got up to. It felt very much like a guilty pleasure, both of them knowing that they shouldn't really be talking about their previously shared intimate life.
”Do you remember that time when your mum and dad went away for the weekend and we thought we had the house to ourselves,” began Katy. ”We were upstairs in your room, music blaring, snogging away, when we suddenly heard someone shout from downstairs.”
”It was my neighbour wasn't it?” said Matthew covering his eyes in embarra.s.sment. ”Weren't we half naked so we squeezed under the bed just as she came into the room and turned off the music? Then the nosy old bat started looking through my drawers, do you remember? We were both ready to explode. G.o.d knows what she thought she was doing; she was only supposed to be watering the plants.”
”You were convinced after that she always looked at you a bit strange after having scrutinized your boxers at close range,” giggled Katy.
”Yeah, I decided she was a complete perv and stopped mum hanging them on the was.h.i.+ng line.”
”Your undies weren't fit for public display anyway. Weren't you still letting your mum buy them?” said Katy with a wicked gleam in her eye.
”No I was not,” exclaimed an offended Matthew until he spotted the evil smirk on her face. ”Stop winding me up,” he said, embarra.s.sed that she had got him on the defensive so easily.
”You know me, there's no way I would give you too much of an easy ride,” she said, looking away quickly.
Yes he did know her, he thought. That was the totally weird thing. It felt like the last eighteen years had never happened. He was talking to her like he spoke to her every day. However what was starting to cut into him was the realisation that actually he hadn't spoken to anyone like this for a while. Just chatting, just having a laugh, just totally and utterly relaxed, not really worrying about anything. Since he had decided to focus on his career a lot of his free time had been taken up with study and he had lost touch with a lot of his mates, who had eventually got bored with him apologetically turning them down for a night out. They had also moved north of the river because Alison preferred it there, making it a long old slog to his old stomping ground in Southwark. And then when they had started to struggle to conceive, Alison's pain had engulfed them both, weighing them down until the ability to enjoy themselves felt like a dim and distant memory.
Being here with Katy somehow took him back to carefree days and awoke part of him that had been dormant for some time. Boy did it feel good. A bit like when they brought back Dr Who and he wondered how he had coped without it for all those years.
And as for Katy, Christ she could still talk c.r.a.p but it was like fresh air compared to his conversations recently with Alison, which were drenched in misery.
He would go to the loo and then leave he suddenly decided, the thought of Alison making him feel guilty. He knew she would not be pleased at the sight of him roaring with laughter with an old flame.
”Back in a sec, then I'd better go,” he said.
He staggered to the bathroom for about the fourth time since he had arrived. He looked across again at Katy's oversized bath lined with a whole host of perfumes, potions and candles in a variety of elaborate gla.s.s holders. He couldn't help but picture Katy in there, eyes closed and a smile on her face, relaxed and happy, maybe a hint of breast peeping up over the bubbles. He tried to wipe the image from his mind as he washed his hands and strengthened his resolve to head back to the hotel.
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