Part 41 (1/2)

”Why are you doing this, Bian?” I popped that question out of the blue and watched her closely to see how she responded.

She did not bat an eye. ”Duty, honor, country. It's that simple.”

”Obeying orders is part of duty, and country can be interpreted many ways. You're not telling me something, Bian. I'd like to know what it is.”

”Isn't it obvious?”

”With you, nothing is obvious.”

”Is that a criticism?”

I took her hand and said, ”No, it's not. You're a very exciting, unpredictable, and fun woman to be around. These past three days, despite everything, I've had a great time. I mean that. But from the moment I met you, I've sensed that you have your own agenda.”

”This is the second time you've brought this up. It's getting old. What is it you think I'm doing?”

”Something more than truth, justice, and the American way. This is personal for you. I'm just not sure why.”

She took a sip of her beer and examined me curiously. ”That's hypocritical. You've been with me every step of the way. Has someone put a gun to your head?”

”Well . . . Ali bin Pacha, for one.”

”Oh, screw off. Why are you bucking the system? Obviously not to get in my pants.”

”Hey, that's below the belt.”

To be polite, she smiled at my bad pun. She said, ”I told you, I lost friends and soldiers here. I'd blow the whistle on these people in a heartbeat, but the scandal would destroy everything a lot of good soldiers have accomplished through blood and tears. That's something I'm not willing to do. I hope you're not either. But I'm more than willing to trade my career if I can force these people to make it right. Other people are giving their lives and limbs.”

”Okay. I believe you.”

”You better. And stop trying to psychoa.n.a.lyze me. It makes me uncomfortable.”

I sipped from my beer.

She said, ”I know you're the cynical tough-guy type, and I know you'd never confess to doing anything altruistic. And I also know that it's a veneer, and that, underneath, you're maybe even a bigger sucker than I am, and maybe you're as compelled to find the truth here as I am.”

Then, out of the blue, she added, ”I'm going to take another shower. When I was here, we'd go weeks without them. I hated that almost more than I hated being shot at. It's so nice to feel clean in Iraq for a change.”

Women are really into personal cleanliness. Men, on the other hand, think a month without showers and a shave is a cool vacation. But also, that sounded like an invitation. I wasn't sure if it was or not; it sounded like one, though. She stared at me a moment too long, then stood and walked out.

I popped the second can of beer and stared out the plane window. ”To feel clean in Iraq for a change”--those words kept gnawing at me. She had meant for it to be taken at face value, and maybe it went no deeper than that. But from cross-examining thousands of criminals and witnesses, I also knew that through skill, luck, or chance, sometimes a Freudian slip lands in your lap, and you need to be receptive. Sometimes it's exactly as it sounded, and you end up spinning your wheels. Other times it's the switch that ends the darkness, or at least lights up a corner of a room.

So. ”Clean in Iraq for a change”--what did that mean? Something had happened to her here, something traumatic she didn't want to talk about, but clearly something she felt remorse for, and maybe a deep sadness.

I didn't think Bian was dishonest; to the contrary, I was sure she was highly principled. But as I knew from personal experience, when two or more principles clash, something has to go.

It struck me, further, that she certainly wasn't the naive or overly gung-ho waif she occasionally came across as. With hindsight, what I had taken for gullibility, pliability, and excessive volunteering might have been something more.

Everybody involved in this thing had an agenda--nationalistic or inst.i.tutional--and for each agenda there was a corresponding motive: pa.s.sion, folly, obsession, anguish, intrigue, adventure, or, in a few cases, a less complicated matter of personal ambition and CYA. But for Bian--for whatever reason--this was personal. And when you mix personal with professional, you get big problems.

I heard the shower door open, and I heard it close.

This had not been my war, but it had been Bian's from long before we met. As all old soldiers know, what makes it personal for you isn't some galvanizing plat.i.tude or geostrategic imperative, or even being shot at. One attends a war because one is ordered to; one puts his heart and soul into it for a different reason. A bond to somebody, a comrade in arms, somebody with whom you share the risk of death, somebody you care about, and hopefully they care about you.

Joining Bian in the shower remained a bad idea, and I was sure she knew this as well; her quest, though, whatever it was, had become mine.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Bian and I were seated in stiff-backed hospital chairs observing our Arab patient, who remained unconcious. Three days had pa.s.sed since Doc Enzenauer recommended that we allow bin Pacha a period of recovery before we squeezed his brain like a blackhead. According to the doc, this had more to do with the drugs and anesthetics than the trauma of the operation, and he gave us a long, detailed tutorial explaining why. Don't ask.

Anyway, when Abdul Almiri was picked up by a squad of MPs for delivery to Abu Ghraib, Bian hitched a ride into Baghdad, where she stayed for two days.

She didn't talk about it, and I didn't ask.

I a.s.sumed, however, that she went to see her fiance, Marvelous Mark, which perhaps accounted for why she didn't invite me. I recalled Bian once telling me that Mark and I had a lot in common, the inference being that we'd end up buds, but I wasn't so sure. I mean, we had both seen Bian naked; among guys, that doesn't make for a pleasant bonding experience.

My own two days, if you're interested, were spent in the airplane, monitoring communications and observing the election coverage on cable news; i.e., becoming bored out of my wits.

As before, the polls indicated a dead heat, and an electorate experiencing its usual quadrennial meltdown into terrified indifference. As one pundit put it, the race boiled down to one guy too stupid to spell ”principle,” yet insisting he had plenty of it, against a guy who spoke a little too much French--if you know what I mean--who had never earned a private-sector buck and now was married to a billionaire with a strange accent, yet was offering himself as the champion of average Joes, underdogs, endangered species, and other people who weren't lucky enough to marry rich. Democracy is great. Iraq should have one, too. Seriously.

If you're still interested, I saw no coverage, or even mention, about the death of Clifford Daniels. A biographer friend of mine likes to say, ”When a man dies, the story of his life is no longer his.” Apparently the story of this sad little man belonged to people who were working overtime with a big eraser. Ironic, if you think about it. All his life, Cliff had wanted to touch the flame of power and fame; he finally got his wish, and even his ashes were disappearing.

On the second day, the aircrew showed up to turn over the engines. To relieve the monotony, I challenged them to a chess tournament; fortunately, they declined. I had better luck suggesting poker, but they had better luck with the cards, drubbing me for two hundred big ones. The b.a.s.t.a.r.ds cheated. I cheated, too; they just cheated better.

Anyway, Bian returned early on the third morning without a word about where, or about how, she had spent her days in Baghdad. However, I sensed a new mood of calm contentment with an att.i.tude of cordial reserve toward moi. I a.s.sumed this meant she had resolved her internal conflict between Mark or Sean. I won't say I was overly thrilled by this.

Anyway, Bian elbowed my arm and said, ”Sean, I think he's waking up.”

I looked up and noted that Ali bin Pacha's eyes were blinking repeatedly. Having personally experienced this--twice--I understood what thoughts were pa.s.sing through his brain.

For starters, you remember your last conscious moments, the images and thoughts playing back like a videotape--you have a bullet inside you, it hurts like h.e.l.l, you know you might die, you feel a tide of weakness enveloping you, sucking you down into the darkness, and you're thinking . . . This is it. The End.

Now his nerve endings and synapses were crackling with unexpected sensations. He reached with his hands and touched his face, then rubbed his three-day stubble, his nose, and his eyes, confirming that Ali bin Pacha still was encased in a corporeal body, still breathing, still alive.

His one good eye s.h.i.+fted to the IV tube in his arm, and he noticed his surroundings, that he was resting in a bed, his body was covered with clean white sheets, and somebody--Bian--was watching him. From his expression, he realized this woman in an Army uniform was not one of the fabled Stygian virgins waiting to celebrate his martyrdom.

Then the roving black eye discovered me.

I cleared my throat and informed Ali bin Pacha, ”You are in an American Army field hospital in Baghdad. I am Colonel Drummond. This is Major Tran.”

He stared back wordlessly.

I continued, ”We know you work with Zarqawi and we know you are . . . were were his moneyman. As such, you are not a prisoner of war, you are an international terrorist and will be afforded none of the protections of the Geneva Conventions.” I leaned closer and asked, ”Do you understand?” his moneyman. As such, you are not a prisoner of war, you are an international terrorist and will be afforded none of the protections of the Geneva Conventions.” I leaned closer and asked, ”Do you understand?”

His face remained impa.s.sive.

Bian informed him, ”You do do understand. We know you speak English. In fact, we know a great deal about you.” understand. We know you speak English. In fact, we know a great deal about you.”