Chapter 8 (1/2)

Save the Last Dance for Me

The phone rang at 2 PM on August 14th. I was perusing an astronomy book in my room at the time, studying the movement of variable binary stars. It was pouring outside, raindrops beat against the window, and wind relentlessly blew through the trees. My parents were out at work, so I was home alone.

When I heard the phone, I tossed away my book and ran down the stairs to grab the receiver.

“h.e.l.lo?”

There was no reply. A long silence. It had to be a call from Hajikano, I figured. I couldn’t imagine anyone but her doing this.

“Is this Hajikano?”, I asked the caller. But still, no reply.

It didn’t seem to me that this was a repeat of before, where two phones rang at once and the theoretically separate lines somehow got connected. This silence was full of conviction, leaving me an impression that the caller was staying silent with full awareness I was on the other end. However, it did feel like a hesitating silence of whether or not to say something, rather than a purposeful lack of speaking.

And suddenly, the call ended. What was that all about?, I wondered as I put down the phone.

The sound of the rain seemed strangely clear, and I noticed the window was left open, with a puddle forming. I closed it, wiped the puddle up with a rag, and went around checking the other windows.

Once back in my room, I thought about that phone call again. And I had a sudden thought.

Maybe I should have been the one to start talking.

Maybe she wasn’t being silent, but waiting for my words.

I felt uneasy. Putting a yacht parka over my s.h.i.+rt, I went out without even an umbrella and rode my bicycle to Hajikano’s house. Arriving in a few minutes, I mashed on the doorbell repeatedly. A few seconds later, Aya showed her face.

“…Huh, Yocchan?”, she said with disappointment. That reaction seemed to confirm my bad premonition.

“Something happened to Yui, didn’t it?”, I asked.

“Yeah,” Aya nodded. “You look like you know something. Come inside. I’ll lend you a towel.”

“Let’s talk here, please.”

Aya, mid-turning on her heel, turned back to me and sighed.

“Yui’s gone missing. She left the house like usual last night and hasn’t come back. Of course, that alone wouldn’t be worrisome. It’s not that rare for her to be gone for over a day, and maybe she’s late to come home because of the rain. …But I get kind of a bad feeling this time.”

I spoke after a slight hesitation. “There was a wordless call to my house earlier. I don’t have proof, but I think it was from Yui. After about two minutes of silence, the call ended without explanation.”

“If that was Yui, then she’s still safe for now, huh…” She closed her eyes with relief.

“What’s your bad feeling?”

“Thinking about it, she was kind of weird last night,” Aya said, staring into the rain outside. “I happened to meet her in the kitchen just as she was leaving. I was hungry and fis.h.i.+ng around in the fridge, and she was headed out the back door. Usually, Yui would just turn away from me, but yesterday was different. She stopped at the kitchen door and gave me a solid look, blinking like she was seeing something unusual. I acted like I didn’t notice. After about ten seconds, she stopped looking at me and went to the back door, but she bowed her head like giving a pa.s.sing greeting. …You know how unusual all that is, don’t you, Yocchan?

”Did Yui not say anything then?”

“Nope, not a word.” Aya’s expression clouded slightly. “Uh, maybe I’m just overthinking it, but… When a cla.s.smate of mine died, she was the same way.”

“Cla.s.smate?”, I repeated.

“If I had to put it one way or the other, we got along poorly. She seemed to hate me, and I didn’t like being hated away at, so I hated her back. In about autumn of my second year of middle school, she suddenly stopped coming to school. Then about a month later, I got a call from her, and she did all the talking. I wanted to ask why she didn’t come to school, but she didn’t seem to want to be asked, so I didn’t. Just before she hung up, she said an uncharacteristic ”Thanks for today.” And that’s it.“

”That’s it?”

“A few hours after the call, she killed herself.” Aya’s voice kept a fixed tone. “They found her hung in the woods by the sea. No note or anything. A few days after that, I realized. ”Ah, so that call was a sign.” That “thanks” was like her last words.“

I digested her words. ”Miss Aya, do you think Yui is going to kill herself?”

Thinking about it logically, that didn’t follow. Lately, it seemed like Hajikano was headed in a happier direction. Hadn’t she been enjoying herself watching the Perseid Meteor Shower? Why did she want to commit suicide now of all times?

No, or maybe… I thought about it. Maybe Hajikano seemed happier because she’d already decided when she’d do it? Because she knew that she could leave this world in a few days, she could innocently enjoy the moment?

“I don’t know.” Aya shook her head. “There’s just that possibility. I’ve put out a search request, but they don’t seem to be taking it seriously. Our parents are out looking right now.”

“Then we should search for Yui too,” I suggested. “The more, the better. I’ll call some friends too. Sorry, but can I borrow your phone?”

“Use it as you like.” She turned and pointed to a phone in the hall. “But sorry, I’m not coming along.”

I replied in a somewhat harsh tone. “This is no time to be stubborn, is it? I guarantee it, if you do nothing and Yui kills herself, you’ll regret it. It might be days or years from now, but you’ll come to lament your actions today. You don’t hate your sister as much as you think.”

“Of course I know that,” Aya said, her voice also getting rough. “But I’m waiting for a call from her. So I can’t leave this spot.”

“Are you certain she’s going to call here?”

“Nope. But going looking now is pointless. If she really wants to die, we can’t stop her. She’s a very clever girl, so she won’t let anyone find her. She might have long since killed herself already. …But if she still has doubts, don’t you think she might call here like you called you, Yocchan? Thinking of it that way, my best option is to wait for that call here.”

Aya and I glared at each other for a while. I hated to admit it, but it made sense. If Hajikano had no intention of being found, wouldn’t our search for her only end in vain? Was it all we could do to wait for her determination to falter, and not miss the moment it tilted to our side?

But I had already let one such moment slip away. Chances were slim that we could wait for it to swing back. Which meant we had to take action.

I pa.s.sed by Aya to the phone and first dialed Hinohara’s house. After ten dial tones, Hinohara’s brother answered. I asked if Hinohara was there, and he said he was out. When I asked if he knew where he was, he bluntly replied “h.e.l.l if I know!” and hung up. It was unlikely he went to set up the telescope in this weather, so I had no guesses either.

When I called Chigusa’s house, she herself answered promptly.

“No time to explain details,” I said first thing. “Hajikano’s missing. Help me look for her.”

“Err… This is f.u.kamachi, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Sorry to make you go out in the rain, but get ready to go quick.”

“Did something happen to Hajikano?”

“I don’t know. But her older sister says she has a bad feeling, and I agree with her. To tell the truth, just a month ago, I witnessed a suicide attempt by Hajikano. She might be trying it again.”

I thought that explaining this much would get Chigusa to agree without another word.

But that wasn’t the case.

She was silent, like time had stopped on the other end.

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Um, f.u.kamachi,” Chigusa said calmly. “Please don’t hate me for this. I’m about to say something slightly mean-spirited.”

“There’s no time to chat about…”

“Let us leave Hajikano be.”

At first, I thought I misheard her. No, it’s probably more like my brain refused to comprehend it.

Because the Chigusa I knew wouldn’t say something like that.

“What did you say?”, I asked, knowing there was no point in doing so.

Chigusa didn’t answer that, and spoke monotonously. “Say, f.u.kamachi. Are you familiar with the option of relief the witch provides to the little mermaid after another woman marries the prince?”

“…What in the world are you talking about?”

“To kill the prince with a dagger. If she pierced the prince’s heart and let the blood flow, her legs would revert to a tail, and she could once again live as a mermaid,” Chigusa said to answer herself. Then she pressed further. “The bet you’ve taken. What becomes of the conditions if Hajikano, holder of the key, dies? Whether your love would come to fruition would become an eternal mystery, and perhaps the bet could not conclude. Would that not save your life?”

“Wait,” I shouted to interrupt her. “Why do you know about the bet, Ogiue? I didn’t tell anyone about it…”

Of course, there was no reply.

“Luckily, Hajikano wishes her own death. You only need to respect her conviction. No need to use the dagger yourself. In addition,” she cleared her throat, “f.u.kamachi, do you believe the birthmark alone is the cause of Hajikano’s despair?”

“…I don’t suppose it has to do with what happened in those ”blank four days”?“

”Exactly,” Chigusa affirmed. “With her death, she’ll atone for a certain sin.”

“Look, Ogiue, listen to me,” I pleaded. “I’m really interested in that too, and I’ve got lots of questions, like how you know all this stuff. But as we speak, Hajikano might be walking straight to her death. I have to go search for her.”

“Is that so,” Chigusa said with disappointment. “Well then, go ahead. I will be here praying that you don’t find her.”

The call ended. I had countless doubts, but I put them on hold and left Hajikano’s house. Before anything else, I went to Masukawa Hotel and searched every nook and cranny, but I found no sign of Hajikano. I went on to try the shrine park, the woods, Minagisa First High, our old elementary school, Chakagawa Station, all the places she might have fond memories of. As time pa.s.sed, the storm got stronger, and I got as soaked as the time I fell into the pool, my sneakers so muddy you couldn’t tell their original color. Yet everywhere I looked, Hajikano wasn’t there. As Aya said, if she really wanted to kill herself without anyone finding her, it was impossible to stop her.

No… Maybe if I had understood Hajikano better, I could have figured out her destination. But I didn’t. In the end, I probably didn’t understand half of what she was thinking.

I checked Masukawa Hotel one last time, but she just wasn’t there. I returned to Hajikano’s house around 2 AM. I hesitated to ring the doorbell, so I knocked lightly on the door. Aya quickly answered. Seeing my face, she shook her head.

“No call, either?”

“Yep,” Aya nodded powerlessly. “And you?”

“I still haven’t found her. I think I might try the appropriate places one more time.”

“Enough. Aren’t you exhausted?”, she said pitifully. “Get some rest. You can use our shower. Take off those wet clothes. Borrow some from my father.”

“Thank you very much. But, no thanks. They’ll just get wet again anyway.”

Aya grabbed my shoulders. “Listen, take a break for at least thirty minutes. Do you know what color your face looks like, Yocchan? You’re like a walking corpse.”

“I was born with it. I get that all the time.”

Shaking away from Aya, I went back out into the rain.

I continued the search until dawn, but I never found Hajikano.

I headed home, pa.s.sing by grade-schoolers headed to radio calisthenics. Once home, before even taking off my wet clothes, fully aware of the absurd hour, I called Chigusa’s house. I wanted to know the rest of the conversation that got cut short. I had hundreds of questions. But there were only ten dial tones, and no answer. Was n.o.body up yet? Or had they already gone out?

I gave up and put down the receiver. I undressed, took a shower, and soaked in the warm bathtub for a long time. My head was empty. After getting out, I put on pajamas, ate the cold rice left in the rice cooker, carefully and time-consumingly brushed my teeth, and lied down on my futon. I thought I could never sleep in this dangling situation, but I lost consciousness in a blink and slept like a pile of bricks for five hours.

A sharp beam of light came through the curtains and woke me. In sharp contrast to yesterday, the weather was clear and pleasing. My head ached like I still needed three more hours of sleep, but I gave up and sat up from my futon. I felt like it had all been a bad dream, yet simultaneously knew it was reality. I went downstairs to the phone, called Hajikano’s house, and Aya answered at the second dial tone.

“I was literally just about to call you,” she said with surprise.

“Does that mean there was a development?”

“Yeah.” Aya’s voice sounded worn out. “…For now, the worst was avoided. Yui was found alive.”

I sighed with relief and collapsed to the floor.

But Aya’s phrasing wasn’t entirely rea.s.suring. Like she had good news and bad news, and had only told me the good news.

“The worst was avoided… but even so, something bad did happen. Is that right?”

“That’s right,” Aya affirmed. “Our bad premonition was right. At early dawn, Yui threw herself into the raging sea.”

I let out a gasp. The sea. I’d completely overlooked it. Why didn’t I search there? Maybe her first attempt had left such an impression on me, I was sure she would choose hanging again. And maybe the beach was too familiar a place to me.

“There’s no way to describe it other than a miracle. It seems a lucky wave pushed her back to sh.o.r.e. She was found early in the morning by an old couple taking a walk on the coast. They called 119 right away, and the wife had lifeguard training, so she was able to provide aid before the ambulance arrived. Yui’s only just regained consciousness, so she’s in a state of deep confusion. But she can talk, so there didn’t seem to be any serious brain damage. …They just say we can’t meet her for a while. Her family, that is, so it’d be even harder for you, Yocchan.”

I listened to her with bated breath. I wasn’t even sure how I should be feeling. Should I be glad Hajikano’s okay, saddened about her suicide attempt, or grateful for the luck?

“What are you going to do now, Miss Aya?”

“I just talked with our parents about that. We decided once Yui’s out of the hospital, she should go to her grandma’s house to recuperate. She’d be able to live cut off from the outside world for a while.”

“I see. …That may be for the best.”

Aya spoke to me comfortingly. “Hey, Yocchan, I think you did good. As harshly as your old friend Yui rejected you, it didn’t get you down. In fact, you didn’t try to force things along, but kept patiently persuading Yui from a reasonable distance. That took your relations.h.i.+p as far as her going out with you every night. Not only that, but you succeeded at getting Yui friends. Seeing it happen up close, I was convinced it was a task only you could do, Yocchan. In other words, no matter how hard anyone tried, it was impossible to cure her self-destructive desires. Maybe that’s all there is to it.”

“Thank you very much,” I said, but then knew I had to append, “And I’m sorry.”

“I told you, there’s nothing to apologize for,” Aya laughed haggardly.

Once the call was over, I called Chigusa without delay. I had to question her about her detailed knowledge of my bet.

A theory had formed in my head, perhaps while I was sleeping, about why information about the bet had reached Chigusa.

Chigusa Ogiue had experienced this bizarre bet.

Let’s say the woman on the phone proposed a bet to more than just me. It could be just a few people, or it could be hundreds, but say there were others who she offered bets to, and Chigusa was one of them. And Chigusa was able to win - or perhaps not win, but by some means make it through the bet - and successfully survived. As a result, she noticed her cla.s.smate Yosuke f.u.kamachi was taking on a bet like she once had. Also, she knew a loophole in the bet.

Out of all the theories I could extract from the facts that had come to light, none seemed more plausible than this one. Of course, it was possible I was overlooking something serious. But even so, the theory that Chigusa had been through the bet had a unique sticking power.

“h.e.l.lo?” Chigusa answered the phone. “f.u.kamachi, I a.s.sume?”

“Right. Hajikano was found. She jumped into the sea in the early hours. Luckily, she didn’t die, but it’ll be hard to meet with her for a while.”