Part 26 (2/2)

'This is an adventure,' she tells him, and nearly chokes on the tears that thicken in her throat. 'Well, I'm hungry,' she says when he doesn't answer her. 'Shall we get the table set for supper?'

The boy curls up into a ball and turns his back to her, so she leaves him to himself and goes into the kitchen, a narrow room, more modern than her own, with matching units in a pale-yellow Formica. Opening cupboards and drawers, all of them seemingly full of tins of fruit, she finally locates some plates and knives and forks. When Tony comes back he moves a case of London Gin off the kitchen table and they sit down.

'You're hungry, Aurek,' says Tony. 'I didn't know you could eat so much.'

For Silvana, it is nothing new. The boy always eats as if the food in front of him might be his last meal, and she has long forgotten that other children don't behave like this. She looks at Aurek. He has changed lately. He has filled out a little, and his hair is longer and thicker.

'Where do you put it all?' Tony is asking. 'Have you got a tapeworm, Aurek?'

Aurek looks suddenly anxious.

'It's a long wiggly worm that eats all your food before you can get the goodness from it. Lots of kids get them.'

Silvana shakes her head and puts her hand on Aurek's arm.

'Aurek, he's only joking.'

'Of course I am. I didn't mean to upset you, old man. Here, have some of my chips. Your mother's right. You do need to eat.'

After they've finished, Tony smokes a cigarette and reads a newspaper. Aurek sits on the floor of the kitchen while Silvana washes up the dishes. When she's done she drifts back to the front room with its bay window and hears Aurek slip in behind her. She stares out at the night and the lights from the s.h.i.+ps out at sea. Despite everything, it is a relief to have confessed to Ja.n.u.sz, to have told him the truth. He has deserved at least that for a long time now. It's a kind of relief, but it also may be the stupidest thing she's ever done. She looks at the boy and feels afraid. Where has her promise to him gone now? Who will be his father?

Silvana prepares a bath for Aurek. She twists the bath taps on full and brown water glugs out. Through the open door she can hear cla.s.sical music playing on the radio. She thanks G.o.d it is not Chopin. A Polish melody would undo her. Steam rises in the room and Aurek appears at the door.

'There you are,' says Silvana. 'It's all ready for you. Don't stay in for too long.'

She begins to undress him, but he pushes her away.

'No,' he says angrily. 'I do it myself. Go away.'

'Don't speak like that.'

Aurek pushes her away from him again and Silvana gives up. She stands looking at him. He still has mud in his hair and up his legs. Against the white skin of his calves he looks like he is wearing black ankle socks and garters. She wants to plant him in the bath and scrub him clean, but she knows he won't let her.

'All right.' She sighs. 'Whatever you say.'

She goes downstairs and watches the fis.h.i.+ng boats again. She doesn't know how long she sits like that, but suddenly she is aware of Aurek beside her, stroking her hand, leaning his head against her shoulder.

'I want to go home.'

'Soon,' she promises, wrapping an arm around him. 'Soon. We'll be all right, my darling. You'll see.'

She puts Aurek to bed in the camp bed Tony produces from a cupboard. He pulls it out of a green canvas bag with pale stencilled letters and numbers on the front and a stamp saying it is the property of the British Army. It's a clattering mix of strong cotton twill, webbing and wooden dowelling that he folds out and a.s.sembles into a bed.

The boy climbs in and digs a nest out of his blankets, pulling them over him so that Silvana cannot kiss him goodnight. She doesn't blame him. She pats the covers and goes downstairs. In the living room Tony stands waiting for her.

'In bed, is he?'

'Yes. He's sleeping in his clothes. I forgot to bring pyjamas.'

'I think I've got some. In a box around here somewhere. Woolworths cotton flannel. I can have a look.'

'It doesn't matter tonight.'

Tony steps towards her and wraps his arms around her. He lifts a stray strand of her hair from her cheek, and she feels the tenderness in his touch. It makes her legs shake. Kindness is the last thing she must have. Her heart twists and aches. Does she love two men? Is that possible?

'Tony, do you think he heard us?'

'Who?'

'Aurek. Do you think he heard what I said to you? In the flat?'

Tony sighs. 'No. He couldn't have. Look, I'll have to go to Ipswich tomorrow. I always have Sunday lunch with my parents-in-law and I need to see Peter. I'll come back in the evening. I'll get you settled in, but I will have to go back to Ipswich on Monday afternoon. I haven't got enough petrol to keep toing and froing. I can be here Friday night. In the meantime, if anybody does speak to you, if the neighbours ask you what you are doing here, I think it might be best to say you are a housekeeper. Best for you. Just to begin with.'

'Housekeeper?'

'Yes. Sounds a bit more respectable, doesn't it?'

She thinks back to the s.h.i.+p that brought her to England. The two choices women had. To be a housewife or housekeeper.

'More respectable than what?'

'Silvana, you've left your husband. People know me round here. They know I live on my own. I don't want you to be gossiped about. I want to keep you safe, that's all.'

Oh, she thinks. Oh. Oh. Then it dawns on her that he is afraid of people believing she is his mistress. She begins to cry, and he hands her his handkerchief. Then it dawns on her that he is afraid of people believing she is his mistress. She begins to cry, and he hands her his handkerchief.

'It'll be all right,' he whispers. 'Come on now, don't cry. It'll all be all right. You know I care for you.'

They listen to the radio, Tony c.o.c.king an ear towards it, repeating lines and laughing as if he is alone and not sitting in a room with somebody else's wife. She can see he has the habits of someone used to living alone. When it ends, they sit in silence for a while. Silvana looks around the room.

'All these boxes. I had no idea...'

'That I was a black marketeer? No, I'm not really. I get asked for certain things and I supply them. Once rationing ends, I'll do something else. Lucy's father got me into it. He was offered some cheap rum from the navy stores at the docks. He's a member of a gentlemen's club in Ipswich and the club agreed to buy the rum. He couldn't do the deal himself he's a magistrate, after all. So I stepped in and we split the cash. That's how it all started. Once you know the right people, it's easy.

'Everybody's doing it. There's a man at the Food Office in Ipswich who forges purchase permits for grocers. So, for instance, Mr Blake at Lipton's gets tenfold the amount of sugar he should get. The surplus he sells on to me. I sell it off ration. And that's the tip of the iceberg. Like I say, everybody's doing it.'

Tony gets up and goes into the kitchen. 'All these boxes will be gone in a day or two,' he calls out. 'Don't you worry about them.'

He comes back with two mugs of cocoa.

'This'll make you feel better,' he says, handing her a mug. 'I've put a dose of whisky in it. It'll help you sleep.'

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