Part 30 (2/2)

CELIA. I see. What a delightful combination of cla.s.s and ma.s.s! This may be all very interesting to anyone interested, but really I haven't time now to split hairs over a middle name. Your intention was to deceive me, and you almost succeeded. Failure alone, I take it, accounts for your present humility. Now, if you will be good enough to get your watch on the desk, you will see that the five minutes you asked for are up and, since you insist on saying good-bye to me, will you say it as quickly as possible, please, and let me go? (_Makes no attempt to move_.)

SMITH. No. Not until we've decided what's to be done about your other letters. (_Hand unconsciously rests on the box of letters without his knowing it_.)

CELIA. (_Glances at this and tries to appear unconcerned_) What other letters?

SMITH. I have that first one here. (_Pressing his hand over his heart_.) But--all the others. Good G.o.d! (_Moving well down_ R.) When I think of love letters of yours wandering loose about Somaliland---- (CELIA _places her bag quickly on table, steals her arm across, seizes the box of letters while_ SMITH _is not looking, and on the word Somaliland, swings away from him, hiding the box awkwardly under her cloak_.) There's one thing I can do to show you what I feel about it.

Give me some clue to the mistaken addresses you must have put upon them and I'll start back to-morrow and fetch them. (_Comes_ L.C., _quite close to_ CELIA.)

CELIA. From Somaliland?

SMITH. From _h.e.l.l_, if necessary.

CELIA. Fortunately, such a journey would be superfluous.

SMITH. What do you mean?

CELIA. I mean that all of those hundreds and hundreds of letters that I was fool enough to write to an imaginary hero are all here in this box. And now they're going into the furnace with my own hands.

(_Starts for door, swinging the box in her right hand_.)

SMITH. (_Following her and playfully taking the box from her_) Won't you give them to me instead?

CELIA. (_Turns back and they both hold on to box_) Certainly not. It's an additional insult that you should even suggest such a thing. Do you suppose I ever want to see you or hear your name again--a man who has dared to hold me up to ridicule as you have done--to wickedly and cruelly amuse himself at my expense---- (SMITH _gives a low laugh_.) Oh, don't you suppose I know how funny I must have seemed to you? Ha!

Ha! (_Imitates_ SMITH'S _laugh_.) Silly idiot of a girl, tired of having no notice taken of her, tired of being kept on the shelf, just dying to show people how attractive she could be--only give her the chance. And to think because of that I made such an everlasting fool of myself before a man, a man who is capable of----

SMITH. Capable of telling you a lie, Miss Faraday? (_Puts box of letters on table_.)

(_READY Motor Horn_.)

CELIA. Well, you did. You know you did. You did everything you could think of to deceive me.

SMITH. I can't deny it.

CELIA. And do you believe that a man or a woman could ever bring himself or herself to respect or have anything to do with a man or a woman who--who deceived?

SMITH. I do believe it. And judging by my own case, I may say I know it.

CELIA. I don't think it is very generous of you to allude to me in that manner.

SMITH. Me. We are discussing me, Miss Faraday. What can I say to induce you to forgive me?

CELIA. Nothing. (SMITH _turns away. She glances at him. In an indifferent tone_) But, of course, you may say it if you wish.

SMITH. (_Turns and comes to her. Tenderly_) I _did_ lie to you elaborately, and I'm going to be jolly glad that I had the chance of lying to you, and I want all the rest of my life the chance of telling you the truth. These few hours with you have made me want so very much for more like them, made me want a chance to seem less odious in your eyes, at least to be on a fair footing, so that I may take my chances with the rest.

CELIA. (_Looking straight into his eyes_) But they haven't any chance at all.

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