Part 59 (2/2)
”I acquit you of the intention to pain or wound. When I have finished what I have to say, we will revert to the subject no more. It will be buried between us for ever, though the memory of the Dead live in our pardoning and loving thoughts, and in our prayers.”
The vivid colour that had flamed in her cheeks had sunk and left them marble. The humid mist of tears that veiled her eyes gave them a wonderful beauty.
He answered her:
”Your thoughts could not be otherwise than n.o.ble and generous. Prayers as pure as yours could not be unheard.”
”No prayers are unheard, though all are not granted.”
She made the slight gesture with her large, beautiful hand that put unnecessary speech from her, and let the hand drop again by her side. Her bosom rose and fell quietly with her even speaking. None could have guessed the tumult within, and the doubts and convictions and apprehensions that battled together, and the religious fears and scruples that rent and tore her suffering soul. But for the sake of Richard's daughter she rallied her grand forces, and nerved herself to carry out her hated task.
”I will tell you how I came to be interested in the young lady who is now my adopted daughter, and whom you know as Lynette Mildare. At the end of the winter of 18-- the Reverend Mother of our Convent died, and I was sent up from the Mother-House at Natal, by order of the Bishop, to take her place as Superior. Two Sisters came with me. It was the usual slow journey of many weeks. The wet season had begun. Perhaps that was why we did not encounter many other waggons on the way. But one party of emigrants of the labouring cla.s.s--we never really learned where bound--trekked on before us, and generally outspanned within sight. There were three rough Englishmen--two middle-aged and one quite old--a couple of tawdry women, and a young girl. They used to ill-treat the girl. We heard her crying often, and one of the Kaffir voor-loopers of their two waggons told a Cape boy who was in our service that the old Baas would kill the little white thing one of these days. She was used as a drudge by them all--a servant, unpaid, ill-fed, worse-clothed than the Kaffirs--but the old man, according to our informant, bore her a special grudge, and lost no opportunity of wreaking his malice on her.”
”I understand,” he said. She went on:
”We would have helped the child if we could have reached her; but it was not possible. If she had run away and taken refuge with us, and the men had followed her, I do not think we should have given her up for any threats of theirs, or even for threats carried out in action.”
”I know you never would have.”
She made the slight gesture with her hand that put all inferred praise aside.
”The waggons of the emigrants were no longer in sight, one morning when we inspanned. They had headed south as if for the Diamond Mines, and we were trekking west....” There was a slight hesitation, and her lashes flickered, then she took up her story. ”Perhaps we were a hundred and fifty miles from Gueldersdorp, perhaps more, when we came upon what we believed at first to be the dead body of a young girl, almost a child, lying among the karroo bush, face downwards, upon the sand. She had been cruelly beaten with the sjambok--she bears the scars of that terrible ill-usage to-day.... We judged that she had fainted and fallen from one of the emigrants' trek-waggons. Months afterwards, when her wounds were healed”--her steady lips quivered slightly--”and she had recovered from an attack of brain-fever brought on by alarm and anxiety and the ill-usage, she told me that she had run away from people who were cruel to her--from a man who----”
”This distresses you. I am grieved----”
He noted the sickness of horror in her face, and the starting of innumerable little s.h.i.+ning points of moisture on her white, broad forehead and about her lips. She drew out her handkerchief and wiped them away with a hand that shook a little.
”I have very little more to say. She was quite crushed and broken by cruelty and ill-usage. No native child could have been more ignorant--she could not even tell us her name when we asked it. She probably had never had one. And Father Wix, who is our Convent Chaplain, and has charge of the Catholic Mission here, baptised her at my instance, giving her two names that were dear to me in that old life that I left behind so long ago. She is Lynette Mildare.... Are you surprised that in seven years a young creature so neglected should have become what you see? Those powers were inherent in her which training can but develop. We found in her great natural capacity, an intelligence keen and quick, a taste naturally refined, a sweet and gentle disposition, a pure and loving heart----” Her voice broke. Her eyes were blinded by a sudden rush of tears. She moved her hand as though to say: ”There is no more to tell.”
”You shut the door upon my hope,” he said.
It was to her veritably as though the gates of her own deed clashed behind her with the closing of the sentence. For she had stated the absolute truth, and yet left much untold. She saw disappointment and reluctant conviction in his face, coupled with an immense faith in her that stung her to an agony of shame and self-reproach. What had she suppressed?
Nothing, but that the waggons of the emigrants had turned south for Diamond Town a fortnight before the finding of that lost lamb upon the veld. And her scrupulous habit of truth, her crystal honour, her keen, clear judgment no less than her rigorous habit of self-examination, told her that the half-truth was no better than falsehood, and that she, Christ's Bride and Mary's Daughter, had deliberately deceived this man.
Yet for his own sake, was it not best that he should never know the truth!
And for the sake of Richard's daughter, was it not her sacred maternal duty to s.h.i.+eld that dearest one from shame? She steeled herself with that as he bared his head before her.
”Ma'am, you have more than honoured me with your confidence, and I need not say that it is sacred in my eyes, and shall be kept inviolate. And for the rest----”
XL
”Reverend Mother,” sounded from below.
”They are calling us,” she said, as though awakened from a dream.
”May I take you down?”
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