Part 9 (1/2)

aRight,a he said, like he was facing down a whole horde of Ke-Han. aToday weare going to try something different.a For a long time no one spoke, and it got pretty uncomfortable, and I was grinning the whole time.

aAh,a Balfour said finally. The little snot. aWhatas that, then?a aWeare going to play roles,a the professor replied, ain order to better understand those who are different from us.a Another silence. This time, though, it was Luvander who spoke up. aYou mean like . . . role-playing?a he asked, all incredulous.

aYes,a the professor said. aExactly.a aBut isnat that like when the redheadas been a very naughty schoolgirl and the brunetteas also been very naughty and theyare spending all this time being punished by the blonde, who does it all with spankinga”a Luvander began, but Adamo cleared his throat all of a sudden, and I supposed Iad have to ask Luvander for the rest of the story later, and who head been to see, and who I should ask for to make it happen.

The professor also cleared his throat. We were all looking at him now, and every man thinking the same thing: basically, that we werenat playing schoolgirls for him or with him, no way and no matter if thaEsar himself commanded it be done.

aNo,a he said patiently, though I could see him grinding his teeth and on the edge of his patience. aNo, that isnat thea”Those arenat the roles weare going to be playing.a aWhat other roles are there?a Compagnon asked, probably acause he didnat have the imagination our fine genius of a professor had.

I was almost busting my seams, I was laughing so hard.

aYouall soon see,a said the professor. And, just like that, he was handing out these pieces of vanilla-colored paper to each of usa”the stiff, good sort, with something written on each. When he stopped in front of me and handed me mine, whatever the f.u.c.k it was, he gave me a kind of smile I didnat like, no matter which way I turned it, and not just on account of the more general dislike I had for his entire face.

aNow,a the professor went on, returning to his place at the center of the circle, ayouall find that on each of these cards Iave distributed is a name.a aItas not my name on this card,a said Compagnon.

aNo,a the professor confirmed. aIndeed, none of your names is on any of the cards.a aSo theyare all our roles,a said Raphael.

aExactly. Three points for you, Raphael, for that apt a.s.sessment,a the professor said. Raphael looked way too pleased with himself after that, and the rest of us a little sour that we were playing a game with points, that none of us had known it before now, and that Raphael was already winning. aThe rules and information are as follows. One: The names and the cards have been distributed completely at random. Two: If you ask to exchange your card for another, three of your points will be deducted. The purpose of the game is to represent the character, the emotions, the viewpoints, and the sensitivities of the name written on the card currently in your possession. Each time you make an astute and insightful observation as to the nature of your particular role, you will be awarded three points. Whoever first achieves thirty points will win the game.a aExcuse me,a said Niall, abut my card says on it aThat Wh.o.r.e Rook Insulted the Other Day for Having Ugly b.r.e.a.s.t.s.aa aIndeed,a said the professor. aIndeed, it does.a aMine says aThe Arlemagne Diplomatas Wife,aa Balfour said, looking at me, then at the professor, then just looking real distressed at no one in particular.

aMine says aThe Arlemagne Diplomat,aa Adamo said. aSo I guess youad best sit here by me.a I didnat want to know what was written on my card, but I guess I had to look so I would know the right way to kill this wh.o.r.eson standing here in front of us all, smug as you like. I flipped my card over. It read, aMargrave Royston,a that f.u.c.king Cindy magician.

aIam not doing it,a I said. af.u.c.k you. Take these cards and f.u.c.king shove aem. Iam not doing it.a aAh,a said the professor, athat puts you at negative three points and Raphael at positive three, and everyone else at zero.a aI feel,a Ace said, sudden and sly, athat as the aPrince of Arlemagne,a Iam kind of in a tight spot right about now, donat you think? What with everyone gossiping about me, even though I managed so cleverly to place all the blame on that ever-so-foolish Margrave of mine.a aIndeed,a the professor said. aVery astute. Three points for you as well, Ace.a aAnd I,a Balfour piped up, aI definitely didnat enjoy being called a wh.o.r.e in front of so many of my peers, or . . . or treated so abominably by that heartless airman of the Dragon Corps!a aTwo astute observations,a the professor said. I was beginning to get the feeling he was all Cindy, one hundred percent, and was sort of especially hot for f.u.c.king Balfour. aThatas six points, I think.a aMaybe, as aThe Arlemagne Diplomatas Wife,aa I said, with a real nasty sneer, ayou shouldnatave acted like a wh.o.r.e to avoid getting called one.a aI donat know if the aMargravea would have said that, actually,a said Adamo, and the professor looked as pleased as spiced wine.

aWell I wouldnat know,a I said, feeling boxed in at all sides. aSeeing as I ainat no Mary Margrave.a aOh, no one said you were,a snapped Jeannot, short and sharp, like a current through the air. He was a quiet one, Jeannot, but he got serious real fast, and faster when he thought someone was wasting his time. aI, as aChief Sergeant of the Airmen,a wish to get through this with as little incident as possible.a Adamo made a sound in his throat like he was growling, amused and happy as an old dog.

aExcellent,a said the professor. aThank you, Jeannot. Three points.a aI guess, as one of the aHandlersa down where the dragons are kept, Iad like it if no one tried to tell me how to do my job,a piped up Merritt, with a pointed sort of look at Ivory, whoad been known on more than one occasion to pitch a fit at his muck-boys if Ca.s.siopeia got touched wrong. But, if you asked me, Ivory was a little touched wrong in the head, so it all washed clean in the end.

The professor nodded, made a note real quick in that d.a.m.ned book of his that let us all know Merrittad got his points, too. Something in the air s.h.i.+fted somehow, changed the way it did when you were on a raid and had to get primed for the fight to come. There were points adding up, f.u.c.king Balfour was in the lead, and all fourteen of us keen on winning now that there was something to win.

I knew the professor had planned it just that way on purpose, the way head planned my card on purpose, so I just kicked back in my chair. I wasnat going to play his game, not even with negative three points.

aAs aProvost,aa Compagnon said eagerly, aI really wish people would stop breaking the rules. Itad make my life a sight easier and I could kick back and enjoy the sweet little paycheck thaEsar tosses me every other week.a aA little obvious, but Iall grant it to you,a said the professor, in a voice that sounded like he thought he was being really gracious. Staring at him reminded me of one other rumor Iad heard about the magician, when he wasnat biting the pillow with foreign Nellie princes.

aIf I were the Margrave Royston,a I said grandly, grinning from ear to ear, aIad blow up your aVersity-stuffed head and dance in the gray matter.a Someone who sounded an awful lot like Ghislain made a disapproving sound. I didnat care, I still thought it was clever as foxes and no two ways about it.

aWell,a said the professor after a moment. His mouth was drawn small and tight, so any words that came out looked forced. aI suppose I have to give you points for at least being accurate on his Talent.a aSuppose you do,a I said cheerfully.

aThat puts you at zero,a he snapped, and crossed something neatly out in the ledger.

aIam pretty sure Rook hurt my feelings, saying I had ugly b.r.e.a.s.t.s,a Niall said, diving into the silence headlong, and his p.r.o.nouncement was punctuated by Compagnon dissolving into a fit of giggles. aI mean, head paid me and everything, sure, but what about my feelings? Just because Iam a wh.o.r.e doesnat mean I donat have feelings,a he concluded, enjoying himself far more than seemed natural.

aAh, yes.a The professor stopped looking angry pretty quick, turned to smile at Niall. He did that to everyone, looked straight at them when they were talking as if it made any kind of a difference. aThat is almost two observations I think, Niall. Youare at six.a Adamo cleared his throat. aAs aThe Arlemagne Diplomat,a Iam still fuming mad that anyone would be not only stupid enough to sleep with my wife, but also to slap her a.s.s and call her as good as a Hapenny wh.o.r.e in front of everyone.a aIad imagine so,a agreed the professor with that stupid little smile of his.

Did they teach him how to do that in the aVersity? I wondered. Maybe that stupid face cut it with a pa.s.sel of school brats, but here it was just out of place, same as the rest of him.

aYeah, and itas all your fault weare here in the first place,a I jeered, but I shut up real quick when Adamo shot me a glare.

aSuppose itas mine too, seeing as Iam thaEsar,a Ghislain said. aI had a real difficult time of it, pleasing everyone sharpish in that meetina room, and it didnat help having two incidents with Arlemagne happening around the same time, either. Guess it was the only thing I could do.a aVery good,a said the professor, and he sounded so happy I thought he was going to p.i.s.s his pants again. aWonderful observations. That definitely makes six.a aIam aHead Mademoiselle at Our Lady of a Thousand Fans,a and I wish people would stop asking me ahow much,a because Iam quite happily married,a said Luvander. There was a sort of quiet that settled over the room after this, with no one able to decide whether they wanted to laugh or not, and everyone turning to look at him. aWhat?a He sat up straight in his chair, looking ticked off. aItas true.a aWell, thatas news to me,a admitted the professor. aBut Iall take your word for it.a aHey now,a I said. aWhatas stopping the rest of us from just making stuff up and spoon-feeding it to you, huh?a aThe goodness of your hearts,a he replied dryly, in a tone that I didnat like at all. It thought far too much of itself, that one.

aAre you calling me a liar?a Luvander spun around in his chair.

aAs a aNew Recruita to the Dragon Corps, Iam either really f.u.c.king lucky or doomed or both, and after my first week itas like enough to be the latter even if no oneas p.i.s.sed in my boots yet.a Magoughin smiled, looking particularly proud of himself.

Balfour was looking a little pale, like that hadnat all been years ago anyway, and him with a new pair of boots whenever he wrote home for one.

aAh,a said the professor, looking a little under the weather himself all of a sudden, like getting his boots all fouled was something he hadnat thought of yet. It was almost sad, really, him with such an active imagination and all. aWell, very good, three points for you, Magoughin.a aUm,a said Evariste. aMy card says, aThat Kid Ghislain Hit on the Head When He Dropped Merrittas Boots out the Window.aa aIt was really an accident,a said Ghislain mildly.

aYes,a said the professor.

aWell, I guess my head hurts,a finished Evariste.

aOh, well, I donat know if Iad exactly call that an astutea”a aIf Iam thaEsarina, I probably wish my husband wouldnat make so many trips to the aFans,a cut in Raphael, clearly eager to take his lead all over again. He paused. aBecause it violates the sanct.i.ty of our marriage. You know, we took vows.a aHoly s.h.i.+t,a I said. aaViolates the sanct.i.tya? Why not just put on the d.a.m.ned dress and a tiara, Raphael?a He sniffed. aItas not my fault that youare losing, Rook,a he said.

aActually, talking of marriage, Iam still very angry with my wife,a said Adamo, and Balfour looked over at him for a moment, all hurt-like before he got ahold of himself, and that was nearly when I lost it. This game was going to drive us all mental.

aAll right, I get it now,a said Evariste again, quickly. aI wish whoever had been dropping heavy boots had been more considerate of . . . who might have been standing there. Below. I wish theyad looked.a aYes, thatas much better,a said the professor, scribbling away like mad in that notebook of his. I wanted to s.n.a.t.c.h it right out of his hands. aBoth of you, well done.a aAs a Member of the Basquiat,a said Ivory at last, in a bored sort of tone, aI ama”depending on my political interestsa”watching this situation with the diplomat from Arlemagne unfold with interest. I want to see how thaEsar will handle it, certainly.a aAs thaEsar Iam thanking the bastion one of yours got mixed up in the mess with Arlemagne,a Ghislain threw back at him. aEvens us out nice and square, donat you think?a aWas Margrave Royston a member of the Basquiat?a Balfour slipped out of character, not that he was nearly nice-looking enough to play the diplomatas wife.

aWhy donat you ask him?a Ace grinned at me with a mouth full of teeth that were just asking to be broken.

aIam not f.u.c.king playing,a I said.

aWell youave managed to raise your score to an even zero,a said the professor, calm as you please. He seemed to have decided that if we werenat going to let him sleep proper through the nights, then he might as well not bother being all careful and polite with us. It even worked; some days he didnat even stink so obviously of fear and rage.

aI cry myself to sleep at night,a Niall spoke up, touched by a sudden inspiration. aI ask countless clients whether they think my b.r.e.a.s.t.s look all right, and if they hesitate for even a moment, I know that terrible airman was right.a aHang on,a said Compagnon. aHow do you know she cries at night?a aWell Iam elaborating, arenat I? Itas one of the skills of the theatre,a replied Niall, in a voice like he thought it was obvious instead of totally insane.

aHas anyone won yet?a Merritt leaned forward in his chair. Maybe he expected the professor to show him his book when he held it that close to his chest, like it was his baby or something.

aNo oneas got to thirty yet, no,a he answered, and studied the page for a moment. His eyebrows went up in surprise. aNiallas in the lead, though.a Almost like theyad planned it, everyone started shouting at once, Raphael even doing some ridiculous high sissy voice that he thought made him sound more like thaEsarina.

Right then, I knew Iad have to start making a list of my own, in order of noses that needed breaking so I didnat off and kill anyone acause of pent-up steam.

And Iad start with the professora”wipe that smug grin off his face for once and for all. I flexed my fingers in antic.i.p.ation. It was going to feel real nice after all of this.

HAL.

Though I expected him to read what had nearly happened right off my face the moment I set foot inside the castle, all the chatelain actually said was that wead best be more careful next time and not wander so far offa”as if we were both his children, no lessa”and then he sent us on our way, my heart still pounding fit to break inside my chest. Iad almost kissed the chatelainas brother. I knew I still wanted to, but no one had guessed it.

Royston, meanwhile, didnat say anything at all.

This distressed me more than I could say, and above the unsteady rhythms of my heartbeat, nervousness began to creep into my blood instead of a fever. Perhaps it was a fever of another sort, a fever Iad been too busy with my books to experience until now, but it transformed me: I was at once too large for my skin and too small to find myself. I answered Roystonas silence with a shamed silence of my own and longed for him to say anything at all. When I dared sneak glances at his face, I could find no clues in his expression that would illuminate his thoughts; rather, he was unreadable as a text in ancient Ramanthe, and I no scholar well versed enough to translate this unfamiliar language.

If only he would take my hand, I thought, or give me some sign. Then my thoughts contradicted themselves; I told myself that for certain he was only being cautious, as at any moment William or Etienne might have rounded the corner, or Mme herself, or any one of the servants. We were certain to talk about my foolishness; Royston was merely waiting for the appropriate time.

I bowed my head. I couldnat bear to look at Roystonas face again only to find it so foreign to me. Yet, despite my fear, I followed him through the halls and back to his room, as per the chatelainas instructions, where Royston paused with one hand upon the door and pointedly didnat look over his shoulder at me.

aHal,a he said.