Part 21 (2/2)

In vain I tried to rectify the principles, and subdue the cruel prejudices, of my husband I endeavoured to shew him every mark of affection and confidence I frequently expostulated with hied him to respect himself and me--strove to convince him of the false principles upon which he acted--of the senseless and barbarousmy peace, and his own, to a romantic chimera Sometimes he would appear, for a moment, melted with my tender and fervent entreaties

'Would to God!' he would say, with emotion, 'the last six months of my life could be obliterated for ever froer active, and chearful: he would sit, for hours, involved in deep and glooht the little E caresses, the anxieties by which his spirits appeared to be overwhelaze wildly upon her--snatch her to his breast--and then, suddenly throwing her from him, rush out of the house; and, inattentive to the duties of his profession, absent hirew, every hour, ,hi rudely into the room, overwhelmed me with a torrent of abuse and reproaches I subrief--my spirits were utterly broken

At times, he would seem to be sensible of the impropriety of his conduct--would execrate hiiveness;--but quickly relapsed into his accustoed, were now becoitations seeain his confidence--my patient, unremitted, attentions--were fruitless He shunned ard me with horror I wept in silence The hours which I passed with my children afforded me my only consolation--they beca to their little sports, and innocent gariefs

CHAPTER XXIV

Some months thus passed aith little variation in , early, froustus (whoht to ue shot suddenly by me, and rushed up stairs towards his apartard countenance, and furious gestures, filled ht; but to these absences I had lately been tooextraordinary I hesitated a few moht exasperate hiave me a thousand terrible and nameless apprehensions I crept toward the door of his apart up and down the rooroaned heavily:--once I heard hiain with violence

I atte it locked, ently, but could not attract his attention At length I recollected another door, that led to this aparth my own chamber, which was fastened on the outside, and seldo steps I hurried round, and, on entering the roo at a table, a pen in his hand, and paper before him On the table lay his pistols--his hair was dishevelled--his dress disordered--his features distorted with emotion--while in his countenance was painted the extreme of horror and despair

I uttered a faint shriek, and sunk into a chair He started fro towards me with hurried and tremulous steps, sternly demanded, Why I intruded on his retirement? I threw myself at his feet,--I folded er--I entreated to be heard--I said all that hugest, to inspire him with confidence--to induce him to relieve, by coled to free hith--I held hirasp--he raved--he stath, forcibly bursting froushed from my nose and lips He shuddered convulsively--stood a fewhi me to his heart, which throbbed tumultuously, burst into a flood of tears

'I will not be thy _ony, interrupted by heart-rending sobs--'I have had enough of blood!'

I tried to sooth hiht him to confide his sorrows to the faithful bosom of his wife! He appeared softened--his tears floithout controul

'Unhappy wos to purity like yours!--Guilt, black as hell!--conscious, aggravated, dauilt!--_Your fatal attachment_--my accursed jealousy!--Ah!

Eed!'

Every feature see--he was relapsing into frenzy

'Be calm, my friend--be not unjust to yourself--you can have coive--you are incapable of persisting in guilt The ingenuous mind, that avows, has already made half the reparation Suffer me to learn the source of your inquietude! I may find much to extenuate--I may be able to convince you, that you are too severe to yourself'

'Never, never, never!--nothing can extenuate--_the expiation must be , the wretch who has been unworthy of you--who could not conceive, who knew not how to esti me to his bosoround, and, in a ht

I raisedfor breath, I attempted to descend the stairs I had scarcely reached the landing-place, when a violent knocking at the door shookto the balustrade, unable to proceed I heard a chaise draw up--a servant opening the door--a plain-looking countryhted, and desired instantly to speak to the lady of the house--his business was, he said, of life and death! I advanced towards hi!

'What is the matter, my friend--whence came you?'