Part 29 (1/2)
”I don't know,” I said with disgust. ”It's one of the b.a.l.l.s I've been juggling.”
I was surprised at how easily it came out.
”Well, if you want an amateur's opinion, I sure wouldn't throw that one away.”
”Her husband's the f.u.c.king racing commissioner,” I said.
”I know who her f.u.c.king husband is,” he said with a chuckle. ”Anybody who's been in town for fifteen minutes knows who her husband is.”
More driving. More silence. Then he started to chuckle again. ”I got to tell you, Jake, I really do admire your style.”
”It hasn't got anything to do with the job,” I told him. ”This is old, personal business. Something that was never finished properly.”
”O-kay,” he said, drawing out the ”Oh” for about five minutes. ”Well, I'm glad you're doing it up right this time.”
”Don't be an a.s.shole,” I grumbled.
”Why don't you talk about it?”
”I don't want to talk about it.”
”Okay.” A long pause. ”But I know you want to.”
”I don't want to talk about anything!”
”It's just like the blues. I can tell.”
”d.a.m.n it, Stick, drop it.”
”Done,” he said, and dropped it. I didn't. He was right-I had to get it off my chest.
”There was a time-in my . . . late-blooming youth-when I thought I was going to marry her. I took it for granted, one of my more spectacular mistakes.”
”Marry her, huh. s.h.i.+t, you do have a problem.”
”It's no problem.”
”Hey, this is the Stick, my friend. You can bulls.h.i.+t me about not finis.h.i.+ng things properly and all that c.r.a.p, but don't tell me it's no problem.”
”It's no problem,” I said emphatically. It sounded more like I was trying to convince myself than him.
”Jake, getting into it is never the problem. Getting out of it, that's the problem.”
”I'm already out of it. What I'm trying to avoid is getting back in.”
”Oh, that's what you're trying to do?”
”Yes!”
”You got a unique approach,” he said, and after a few seconds he asked, ”Are you still in love with her?”
”s.h.i.+t.”
”No s.h.i.+t.”
I sighed. ”h.e.l.l, I don't know. Maybe I'm in love with the idea of her. Maybe I never took the time to get out of love with her. I haven't worked it out.”
”When are you going to see her again?”
I had a moment of panic, as though I'd told him too much already. The old paranoia.
”What time tonight are you going to see her?” he repeated.
”Who says I'm going to see her tonight?”
He shot me another crazy smile.
”Nine o'clock,” I said.
”You need some backup?”
”Don't get funny.”
”I don't mean that, Jake,” he said seriously. ”I mean do you want me to cover you? Keep an eye on the place, make sure n.o.body's houndd.o.g.g.i.ng you? What I'm trying to say is, I'm for you. Whatever it means to you, I hope it comes out right.”
I was moved by his concern. There was a lot of Teddy in Stick. But I was wary of him. I was wary of everybody. I had taken two steps, back to back. First opening up to Doe, and now Stick. I was moving farther away from my safe spots. It scared h.e.l.l out of me.
”I shouldn't have come back to this f.u.c.king place,” I snapped finally.
”Aw, c'mon,” he said. ”Then you wouldn't have met me. I'm the magic man, my friend. I can wave my hand and make the impossible come true.”
”Where are we going?” I asked, deciding to change the subject.
”City docks.”
”What's out there?”
”We got a surprise for you.”
”Who's 'we'?”
”Me and Zapata.”
”Well, try to keep it under ninety, will you?”
”The Bird here runs a little rough under ninety,” he said, grinning as he patted the steering wheel.
”Too bad about the Bird,” I said. ”I run a little rough over ninety. What happens at the city docks?”
”The shrimpers unload there,” he said, as if that explained everything. I decided to be surprised and said no more.