Part 38 (2/2)
”We are not barbaric. He was clearly a madman. But we kept his horse.”
”And 71-hour Ahmed told you to keep us, didn't he?” said Vimes.
”No one orders the D'regs! It is our pleasure to keep you here!”
”And when will it be your pleasure to let us go? When Ahmed tells you?”
Jabbar stared at the fire. ”I will not speak of him. He is devious and cunning and not to be trusted.”
”But you you are D'regs, too.” are D'regs, too.”
”Yes!” Jabbar slapped Vimes on the back again. ”We know what we are talking about!”
The Klatchian fis.h.i.+ng boat was a mile or two out of harbor when it seemed to its captain that it was suddenly riding better in the water. Perhaps the barnacles have dropped off, he thought.
When his boat was lost in the evening mists a length of bent pipe rose slowly out of the swell and squeaked around until it faced the coast.
A distant tinny voice said: ”Oh, no...”
And another tinny voice said: ”What's up, sarge?”
”Take a look through this!”
”Okay.” There was a pause.
Then the second tinny voice said: ”Oh, b.u.g.g.e.r...”
What was riding at anchor before the city of Al-Khali wasn't a fleet. It was a fleet of fleets. The masts looked like a floating forest.
Down below, Lord Vetinari took his turn to peer through the pipe.
”So many s.h.i.+ps,” he said. ”In such a short time, too. How very well organized. Very well organized. One might almost say...astonis.h.i.+ngly well organized. As they say, 'If you would seek war, prepare for war.'” well organized. As they say, 'If you would seek war, prepare for war.'”
”I believe, my lord, the saying is 'If you would seek peace, prepare for war,'” Leonard ventured.
Vetinari put his head on one side and his lips moved as he repeated the phrase to himself. Finally he said, ”No, no. I just don't see that one at all.”
He ducked back into his seat.
”Let us proceed with care,” he said. ”We can go ash.o.r.e under cover of darkness.”
”Er...can we maybe go ash.o.r.e under cover of cover?” said Sergeant Colon.
”In fact these extra s.h.i.+ps will make our plan that much easier,” said the Patrician, ignoring him.
”Our plan?” said Colon.
”People within the Klatchian hegemony come in every shape and color.” Vetinari glanced at n.o.bby. ”Practically every shape and color,” he added. ”So our appearance on the streets should not cause undue comment.” He glanced at n.o.bby again. ”To any great extent.”
”But we're wearing our uniforms, sir,” said Sergeant Colon. ”It's not like we can say we're on our way to a fancy-dress party.”
”Well, I'm not taking mine off,” said n.o.bby firmly. ”I'm not running around in my drawers. Not in a port. Sailors are at sea a long time. You hear stories.”
”That'd be worse worse,” said the sergeant, without wasting time calculating how long any sailor would need to be at sea before the vision of n.o.bby n.o.bbs would present itself as anything other than a target, ”'cos if we're not in uniform, we'll be spies-and you know what happens to spies.”
”Are you going to tell me, sarge?”
”Excuse me, your lords.h.i.+p?” Sergeant Colon raised his voice. The Patrician looked up from a conversation with Leonard.
”Yes, sergeant?”
”What do they do to spies in Klatch, sir?”
”Er...let me see...” said Leonard. ”Oh, yes...I believe they give you to the women.”
n.o.bby brightened up. ”Oh, well, that doesn't sound too bad-”
”Er, no, n.o.bby-” Colon began.
”-'cos I've seen the pictures in that book The Perfumed Allotment The Perfumed Allotment that Corporal Angua was reading, and-” that Corporal Angua was reading, and-”
”-no, listen listen, n.o.bby, you've got the wrong-”
”-I mean, blimey, I didn't know you could do do that with a-” that with a-”
”-n.o.bby, listen listen-”
”-and then there's this bit where she-”
”Corporal n.o.bbs!” Colon yelled.
”Yes, sarge?”
Colon leaned forward and whispered in n.o.bby's ear. The corporal's expression changed, slowly.
”They really-”
”Yes, n.o.bby.”
”They really really-”
”Yes, n.o.bby.”
”They don't do that at home.”
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