Part 27 (1/2)
”Ah...putting 'This Way Up' on the projectile would be an important safety point to bear in mind for the new design,” said Leonard. ”Now, where's that notebook...?”
”I think we'd better leave,” said Colon, moving backward. ”Very fast.”
Inside the house there was an explosion of stars and b.a.l.l.s to delight young and old but not the troll who had just opened the door.
”Ah, really?” said Leonard. ”Well, if speed is required, I have this very interesting design for a two-wheeled-”
Acting on an unspoken agreement, the watchmen each put a hand under a shoulder, lifted him off the ground, and ran for it.
”Oh, dear,” said Leonard, as he was dragged backward.
The watchmen dived into a side alley, and then jinked and dodged along several others with quiet professionalism. Finally they leaned Leonard against a wall and peered round the end of the alley.
”All clear,” said n.o.bby. ”They went the other way.”
”Right,” said Colon. ”Now, what was you doing? I mean, you might be a genius like I heard, Mister da Quirm, but when it comes to threatening people you're as clever as an inflatable dartboard.”
”I appear to have been a bit of a juggins, don't I?” Leonard agreed. ”But I do implore you to come with me. I'm afraid I thought that as warriors you would be more inclined to understand force-”
”Well, yes, we're warriors warriors,” said Sergeant Colon. ”But-”
”'ere, have you got another one of these rockets?” said n.o.bby, hefting the tube onto his shoulder again. He had the special gleam in his eye that a small man gets when he's laid his hands on a big, big weapon.
”I may may have,” said Leonard, and the gleam in have,” said Leonard, and the gleam in his his eye was the mad twinkle of the naturally innocent when they think they're being cunning. ”Why don't we go and see? You see, I was told to fetch you by any means necessary.” eye was the mad twinkle of the naturally innocent when they think they're being cunning. ”Why don't we go and see? You see, I was told to fetch you by any means necessary.”
”Bribery sounds good,” said n.o.bby. He put his eye to the tube's sights and started making ”whoosh” noises.
”Who told you to fetch us?” said Colon.
”Lord Vetinari.”
”The Patrician wants us us?”
”Yes. He said you have special qualities and must come at once.”
”To the palace palace? I heard he'd done a runner.”
”Oh, no. To the, er...to the, er...docks...”
”Special qualities, eh?” said Colon.
”Er, sarge...” n.o.bby began.
”Now then, n.o.bby,” said Colon importantly. ”It's about time we were given some recognition, you know that. Hexperienced officers are the backbone of the force. Seems to me,” he went on, ”seems to me me that this is a case of cometh the time, cometh the man.” that this is a case of cometh the time, cometh the man.”
”When's he cometh?”
”I'm talking about us. Men with special qualities.”
n.o.bby nodded, but with a certain amount of reluctance. In many ways he was a much clearer thinker than his superior officer, and he was worrying about ”special qualities.” Being picked for something because of your ”special qualities” was tantamount to being volunteered. Anyway, what was so special about ”special qualities”? Limpets Limpets had special qualities. had special qualities.
”Will we go undercover again?” said Colon.
Leonard blinked. ”There...yes, I think I can say there is a strong under under element involved. Yes, indeed.” element involved. Yes, indeed.”
”Sarge-”
”You just be quiet, corporal.” Colon pulled n.o.bby closer. ”Undercover means not getting stabbed and shot at, right?” he whispered. ”And what's the most important thing a professional soldier wants not to happen to him?”
”Not getting stabbed and shot,” said n.o.bby automatically.
”Right! So let's be going, Mr. Quirm! The call has come!”
”Well done!” said Leonard. ”Tell me, sergeant, are you of a nautical persuasion?”
Colon saluted again. ”Nossir! Happily married man, sir!”
”I meant, have you ploughed the ocean waves at all?”
Colon gave him a cunning look.
”Ah, you can't catch me with that one, sir,” he said. ”Everyone knows the horses would sink.”
Leonard paused for a moment and retuned his brain to Radio Colon.
”Have you, in the past, floated around, on the sea, in a boat, at all?”
”Me, sir? Not me, sir. It's the sight of the waves going up and down, sir.”
”Really?” said Leonard. ”Well, happily, that will not be a problem.”
All right, start again...
a.s.sembling facts, that's what it was about...
The world watched. Someone wanted wanted the Watch to say that the a.s.sa.s.sination had been inspired by Klatch. Who? the Watch to say that the a.s.sa.s.sination had been inspired by Klatch. Who?
Someone had also beheaded Snowy Slopes where he stood and left him deader than six buckets of fish bait.
A vision of 71-hour Ahmed's big curved sword presented itself for his attention. So...
...let's a.s.sume that Ahmed was Khufurah's servant or bodyguard, and he'd found out...
No, how could that work? Who'd tell him?
Well, maybe he'd found out somehow somehow, and that meant that he might also know who'd paid the man...