Part 22 (1/2)
She's still grining. ”Nope.”
What's going on? I wonder. But Ida is having a good time with this and she's going to do it her way.
”How did you know it was him?” Joe asks.
”By the pimple on 'his' face.”
”Huh?” That comes from all of them. Ida can hardly contain herself. She does a little jig. Evvie chews her nails in frustration. Bella and Sophie are just flummoxed.
I ask the practical question. ”Did you call the police?”
”No, not yet,” she says. ”Later will be soon enough.”
Evvie, even more annoyed, asks, ”What's so funny?”
”You'll see.”
”You know who he is, don't you?” I ask.
”We all know 'Grandpa,' ” she says, accentuating the name.
”Spit it out!” chorus Bella and Sophie.
She looks directly at the two of them. ”Didn't Madame Ramona tell us we were chasing a magician? Didn't she say we thought he was a fool, but he really wasn't? And four was a number to remember?”
The two of them slowly nod their heads in unison.
”She told us all about him. I wondered how she knew,” Ida says.
Evvie, puzzled, asks, ”Isn't she that weirdo with all the flamboyant clothes? What's she got to do with this? When did you learn all this . . . this magician stuff?”
Ida says, ”You drove off with Joe the morning Gladdy was on her way to Tampa. We had a tarot reading at Madame Ramona's.”
Bella's feelings are hurt. ”You said you wouldn't tell.”
”Well, now I have to.”
Evvie glares at Bella. ”What for? What silliness were you up to?”
I say, ”Never mind that. Where is Grandpa Bandit?”
”Let's go ask the Madame.” Ida turns to Joe, since she knows we have to leave Jack's car. ”Onward to Phase Four. Magic number four.”
”Wait a minute,” I say. ”You're taking us to the man who just robbed the bank? Don't you think we should get Morrie? And Jack?”
If Ida smiled any harder, her teeth would hurt. ”Trust me,” she says.
We follow Ida as she leads us to a ground-floor apartment. Evvie glances at me as if to say ”What is going on?” I shrug. I don't have a clue.Bella is quaking. ”I don't want to go back in there.”
Sophie whispers, ”Me, neither. She's crazy.” They cling to each other.
”Yeah,” Ida says, ”crazy like a fox.”
We all crowd behind Ida as she pounds on the door. No response. She rings the bell, and then pounds on the door again. Still nothing.
Ida shouts, ”I know you're in there, 'Gramps.' Open up. We're not going away, even if we have to stand here all day and all night.”
The peephole finally opens and we see an eye. A voice whispers, ”You have a reading with the Madame?”
Ida demands, ”Just open the d.a.m.n door.”
”I won't,” says the voice.
”You will,” says Ida.
Evvie shakes her head in wonderment.
”Get out of here or I'll call the police,” yells the hoa.r.s.e voice.
Ida puts her hands on her hips. ”Why don't you do that? And ask for Detective Morgan Langford. His stepmother is standing next to me.”
I shoot her a look.
”To be,” Ida adds.
A silence, then we hear many clicks of many locks and finally the door opens. To our surprise, a rather tall, skinny man-in his mid-sixties, I would guess-is standing there, in an unders.h.i.+rt and shorts. He's almost bald, with just a ring of gray surrounding his scalp. ”You can only stay a few minutes,” he tells her. ”Madame has a client coming very soon.”
”Can the act,” Ida says, pus.h.i.+ng her way in. We follow Ida into the living room. This is her show. Bella and Sophie linger behind. Evvie and I have not been here before, and we stare about this room, fascinated by the velvet paintings.
”Sit down,” Ida demands.
We all hurry for seats. I find myself seated on the couch under Liberace and his candelabra. Evvie and Joe land on a love seat under Michael Jackson. Bella and Sophie huddle in the hallway, obviously hoping for a quick exit.
Ida shakes her head in disbelief. ”I meant for him him to sit, not you.” to sit, not you.”
Joe smirks. Evvie hides a smile. I'm speechless. The bald-ish man sits down opposite us, on the edge of a straight chair, nervously picking at a large red pimple. He's seated under s.h.i.+rley MacLaine, who looks down on him from her velvet s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p.
”Tell them who you are,” Ida demands.
”I'm . . . I'm Madame's boarder.”
”And when you put on your outfit, which always has big ruffled blouses, and you pull out of your pants a colorful skirt, and then add your long gray wig with ribbons, you're also chubby Madame Ramona.” She twirls the blue baseball cap in front of his face.
Eyes open wide at that. Even mine. Bella gasps.
She turns to Evvie. ”Give a quick look around for a Macy's tote bag.” I watch clever Ida as she watches the man, whose eyes immediately dart to a closet in the room. ”Try that closet,” Ida says, pointing. He starts to get up, but Ida pushes him back down.
Evvie retrieves the bag from the closet and upends its contents onto the floor. Out falls the windbreaker. The big sunhat, dark sungla.s.ses. The long gray wig and the frilly blouse and skirt. And a wad of money. Ida tosses her the blue Marlins cap. ”That goes with it.”