Part 7 (1/2)
I hear an imperious voice call after me, ”Just a moment, Mrs. Gold.” It's Conchetta, putting on a tone of authority in front of the gawking children. ”The moment you walk out you will set off the alarm.”
Oops. I forgot to check out my books. I look with chagrin at the mob at the desk and dutifully go to the back of the line.
10.
The Bank Teller.
The five of us face the very young Sarah Byrne as we all sip lemonade. We have our most solicitous expressions on in respect for Ms. Byrne's recent painful encounter.
”I hope you're feeling better.” This from Evvie.
”And not crying a lot anymore.” Bella offers her sympathy.
”Are you under a doctor's care?” asks Sophie.
Our witness perches daintily on a small tapestry bench opposite us. We are sitting on flowery chintz couches and spindly antique chairs. Her house is charming and beautifully kept up. Sarah, herself, is pet.i.te and pretty and nicely dressed, in white slacks and a black tee. Her curly blond hair is tied back in a white ribbon. And she is barefoot.
After we found her address-in the phone book, amazing these days-we called her. We explained who we were and what we wanted. She said she was more than happy to have us come and visit.
Now she stares at us in confusion. ”What are you talking about? Why would I need a doctor?”
”Was it because of the shock of being robbed?” Ida wants to know.
A smile forms on Sarah's face.
She's smiling? Odd. ”We read the newspaper account of your leaving the bank in hysterics,” I tell her.
She walks over and refills our lemonade gla.s.ses. ”That's a good way of putting it! Hysterics? Oh, yes, I left in hysterics. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.”
Now we're the ones looking puzzled.
”You know why I invited you ladies over? Because I'm upset about losing my job. Because I miss my work. Because none of my old friends at the bank have the guts to call me. The bank fired me. I didn't push the panic b.u.t.ton fast enough.”
”Was that because you were frightened by being in danger?” I ask.
”Danger? But was I really in danger? I'm not sure. This was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me in my whole life.” She pauses as she rolls her head in a stretch. ”Are you really private eyes? You're really looking for Grandpa?”
Evvie answers Sarah's question with dignity. ”We certainly are private eyes. Who did you think we were when you gave us permission to come over?”
”I didn't know and I didn't care. I wanted the company. I thought you were a bunch of old ladies who were bored and nosy. And, by the way, thanks for the pineapple upside-down cake.”
”Hmph,” mutters Ida, baker of said cake.
Sarah drops to the floor in front of us. ”Mind if I do a little yoga? I missed my cla.s.s today.”
Why not, I think. This is turning into a bizarre little episode. Next thing, she might want us to do push-ups with her.
”Start from the beginning,” I say. ”Please. The whole robbery incident.”
We all lean forward as she twists her legs around in a way that I never thought possible outside of the circus.
”Okay,” she says. ”It was an ordinary day, maybe a little quiet. This old guy comes to my window.”
Fas.h.i.+onista Sophie interrupts immediately. ”Do you remember what he was wearing?”
”Honey, I remember every little thing about him.”
I tap Sophie, indicating that she shouldn't interrupt.
Sarah twists into another improbable position, resembling something like a figure eight. ”He was about five foot four, thin, wearing gray pants and s.h.i.+rt and a Miami Dolphins baseball cap. He had on huge sungla.s.ses with white rims, making it very difficult to see his face. He had kind of a Groucho Marx bushy mustache. Looked like a paste-on to me. And a big Spider-Man Band-Aid on his cheek. I only realized later that all that stuff was to keep me from really seeing anything of his looks other than the tufts of his gray hair sticking out.”
Bella pulls her chair even closer so as not to miss a word of this amazing story.
Sarah continues, ”He carried a small tote with the SunTrust Bank logo on it. He opened it up and pulled out a bag from Mickey's Deli, the one that's right across the street from where I work.”
We are listening with open mouths. Her attention to detail is fascinating.
”He took out a rye bread sandwich and unwrapped it.”
Now Sophie can't stand it. ”He was going to eat his lunch?”
Sarah shakes her head. ”He then tells me he got turkey but told them to hold the mayo so it wasn't too messy.”
Bella is gaga over what she hears. ”What wasn't too messy?”
”His gun, wrapped up in the sandwich,” Sarah says. ”He insisted it was a real gun, but frankly, I wasn't sure.”
”You gotta be joking,” Ida says. ”He's holding up a bank with a gun wrapped in a turkey sandwich?”
”I kid you not,” Sarah says, giggling. ”Here I am being robbed by an old guy dressed like a clown, carrying a gun in rye bread. I didn't know what to think. I was so weirded out, I didn't know whether this was a joke or serious.”
We're all giggling now.
Ida pours herself more lemonade. ”Then what?”
”Then he says, 'Give me five hundred and fifty dollars and forty-six cents or I shoot.' My hands were shaking; I could barely count out the money. He tossed it into the sandwich bag, thanked me, and tipped his baseball cap.”
We are speechless. Finally Evvie says, ”That's it?”
”Oh, I almost forgot. He dug out a small green feather and said, 'Robin Hood's my name, robbing banks is my game.' ”
Sarah does another complicated yoga move then gracefully stands up and stretches.