Chapter 432 - Someone She Didnt Want to See No Matter What (2/2)

Xia Ruoxin turned around, meeting the longing and regret on Shen Yijun's face with indifference.

Really, she didn't need it anymore.

Stop pretending like you're such a warm and caring mother now. It was ridiculous.

”Ruoxin…!” Shen Yijun shouted Xia Ruoxin's name again. She wanted to reach out and touch the person in front of her. She wanted to check if she was dreaming or if she was hallucinating.

”Good day, Mrs. Xia.” Xia Ruoxin answered her succinctly. Not mother, not aunty, but Mrs. Xia.

”Ruoxin, do you still blame me?” Shen Yijun smiled devastatedly. ”I know I've done you so much wrong all these years, but I was scared. Do you understand, Ruoxin, the difficulties of a woman raising a child by herself? Do you understand the feeling of not being able to fill your stomach every day? I couldn't go back to those days anymore—I just couldn't.” She then got everything she wanted. She got three meals a day; she got delicacies from around the world—jewels and gems. She got everything she never dared to dream of having, and so she became greedy. The greedier she became, the more she got, and the more afraid she became of losing them. The more fear she felt, the more she wanted to possess them.

This led to her actions in the past. Even she herself couldn't believe it, and she didn't want to believe it. Until Xia Yixuan's death, she felt indebted to Xia Mingzheng because he had lost his daughter. She couldn't face her own daughter. She wanted to redeem herself, and she wanted her daughter to make amends, too. No matter if her intentions were selfish or not; that was the only way she could get her salvation.

Xia Ruoxin hugged her daughter tighter towards her. Rainy stared unblinkingly at Shen Yijun. She looked exactly like how Xia Ruoxin was in the past.

Shen Yijun's heart jolted. She couldn't face the pair of mother and daughter in front of her.

Yes, it was tough and difficult, but just because she couldn't endure it, it didn't mean others couldn't, too. She understood clearly that she wasn't a good mother. To put it bluntly, she was selfish. There was no need to make any more excuses.

However, some people never gave up on their original intentions no matter the setbacks they've encountered. For instance, Xia Ruoxin. For instance, Shen Yijun, who gave up on her own daughter.

”What's her name?” Shen Yijun asked Rainy, tears streaming down her cheeks. All of a sudden, she felt ashamed.

”Aunty, my name is Rainy,” Rainy replied obediently. She called Shen Yijun 'Aunty' instead of 'Granny' because she was young. If she had called her 'Granny', perhaps Shen Yijun would have felt better. Right now, she was extremely distressed.

”Ruoxin, can I hold her?” Shen Yijun's trembling hands reached out. This was her granddaughter. She resembled her Xinxin when she was young so much. Her Xinxin was this young then, too, but somehow, she had forgotten that this was her daughter.

Rainy turned her face away, and she tugged at her mother's shirt with tiny hands.

”No hugs, Mommy.”

”Okay, no hugs.” Xia Ruoxin assured her daughter. Maybe Rainy could feel that her Mommy wasn't too fond of this person, and so she didn't like her, too.

Shen Yijun's hands stiffened and retracted. She knew, and she understood that there was nothing she could say to make up for all the things she did. Nothing could justify her wrongdoings. If these decades of mistakes could be wiped away with an apology and forgiveness, it wouldn't be a decade of mistakes. How many more decades could a person have? How many more twenty years of youth could a person have?

”Xinxin, is there anything I can do to help?”