Part 16 (1/2)
”I trust you more than I thought I would ever trust any man.” She smiled a little and lifted a hand to his face. Oh, G.o.d, if this was love, why should it hurt so? Why couldn't it bring her the joy she saw in Maggie's eyes? ”No, I don't trust you'll come back to me. But we'll not speak of that.” She moved her hand to cover his lips when he would have spoken.
”We'll not think of it. Only of today.”
”Then we'll talk of other things.”
”No.” She kissed both of his hands, then stepped back. ”We won't talk at all.” Slowly she began to unfasten the b.u.t.tons of her riding habit.
”What are you doing?”
He reached out to stop her, but she slipped the snug jacket from her shoulders, revealing a simple chemise and small, high b.r.e.a.s.t.s. ”Taking what both of us want.”
”Rena.” He managed her name, though the pulse beating at his throat made the word low and rough. ”Not like this. This isn't right for you.” ”How could it be more right?” But her fingers trembled slightly as she unhooked her skirt. ”Here, with you.”
”There are things that need to be said,” he began.
”I want you,” she murmured, halting his words and his thoughts. ”I want you to touch me the way you touched me before. I want-I want you to touch me the way you've made me dream of.” She stepped closer. ”Do you not want me any longer?”
”Not want you?” He closed his eyes and dragged an unsteady hand through his hair. ”There is no one and nothing I've ever wanted more than I want you at this moment. G.o.d help me, there may never be again.”
”Then take me here.” She reached for her laces, watching in a kind of dazed wonder as his gaze dipped down. ”And give me something of yourself before you leave me.” Taking his hand, she pressed her lips to his palm. ”Show me what it is to be loved, Brigham.”
”Rena-”
”You're leaving tomorrow,” she said, suddenly desperate. ”Will you leave me with nothing, then?”
He let his fingers trail along her cheek. ”I would not leave at all if the choice were mine.”
”But you will go. I want to belong to you before you do.”
Her shoulders were cool to his touch. ”Are you certain?”
”Aye.” With a smile, she laid his hand on her heart ”Feel how fast it beats? Always when I'm close to you.”
”You're cold,” he said unsteadily, and pulled her closer. ”There's a plaid on the mare.” With her eyes closed, she drew in his scent. As he had with her hair, she committed it to memory. ”If we spread it in the sun we'll be warm enough.”
”I won't hurt you.” He lifted her face, and she saw that the intensity was back in his eyes. ”I swear it.”
She trusted him for that, trusted him to be gentle. It was in his eyes as they spread the plaid on the bank of the lake and knelt upon it. It was in his lips as he lowered them to her bare white shoulder. It was in his hands as they clasped hers, communicating care as much as need.
She knew what she was about to do, what she was about to give him- the innocence a woman could give to only one man, and only once in her life. As they knelt face-to-face with the sun warm overhead and the waters cool beside them, she knew she hadn't offered the gift on impulse or in the madness of pa.s.sion, but almost quietly, with a confidence that it would be accepted with tenderness. And remembered.
She had never looked more beautiful, he thought. Her eyes were brilliant, steady. Her hands didn't tremble as they locked with his, but he thought he could almost feel the nervous beating of her heart through his fingertips. Her cheeks were pale, as smooth and white as porcelain.
He thought of the shepherdess, of how he had wanted to touch it as a child but had been afraid, lest his hands grow clumsy. He brought her hands to his lips. He would not be clumsy with Serena.
He kissed her and filled himself with the flavor alone. Though their time together now would be short, he treated the moment as if it could last for hours. With slow, tortuous nibbles he had her breath quickening. His tongue moistened and traced, then lured hers into a lazy duel that made her heart swell and thunder in her breast. Tentatively at first, she ran her hands along his coat, as if making certain his body was warm and real beneath. Murmuring something against her mouth, he began to shrug out of it. Her own shyness surprised her. She fought it back as she helped him strip it off, and as she fumbled with the b.u.t.tons of his waistcoat.
He found it almost unbearably arousing to have her inexperienced hands undress him. With his eyes closed he traced kisses over her brow, her temples, her jaw, while his body tensed and hardened from the hesitant movements of her fingers. It was torture of the most exquisite kind. He realized that he was moving slowly not only for Serena and her innocence but for himself. Every instant, every heartbeat they shared here would be remembered.
She tugged off his s.h.i.+rt, her gaze skimming down over his bare flesh as delicately as her fingertips did. Slowly, almost afraid her hand might pa.s.s through him, she reached out to touch.
They were still kneeling, their bodies swaying closer, their breath mingling as mouth was drawn to mouth. Her mind began to whirl as she stroked her hands over him. His skin was smooth, while the muscles beneath were hard. She felt awe, as well as excitement, wonder, as well as nerves. Who would have thought a man could feel beautiful?
The sun warmed his skin as it poured over the little patch of ground they had chosen. Birds trilled in the wood beyond. On the far side of the lake, deer came quietly to drink.
As he nuzzled her neck, she felt herself go weak. She thought she knew what was to follow, but the pleasure was more than she had ever dreamed it could be.
His hands were very sure as they cupped her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, dragging a moan out of her as the rough material s.h.i.+fted and rubbed over her skin. In submission, in acceptance, in demand, her back arched and her head fell back, leaving him free to plunder. She felt his mouth cover her, nipping and sucking through the material. The tingling started deep within her stomach and spread until her body seemed alive with nerves. Then what had gone before vanished from her mind as he peeled the chemise aside and found her flesh.
She cried out in surprise and pleasure, her hands reaching for his shoulders and gripping for balance. Yet she felt as though she were falling still.
She shuddered against him, strained against him, confused, delighted, desperate for more. What she had offered, she had offered of her own free will. What she gave now, she gave without thought, without reason.
When she tumbled back on the blanket, she was stripped of defenses and open to whatever commands he might give.
He had to fight back the first sharp-edged need to take. It was like a knife turning slowly in his gut. Her arms were wrapped around him, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, small and white, s.h.i.+vering at each touch. He saw that her eyes were clouded, not with fear, no longer with confusion, but with newly awakened pa.s.sions. If he were to take her now, as his body begged to, she would open for him.
But the need in his heart beat as strong as the need in his loins. He would give her more than she had asked, perhaps more than either of them could understand.
”I've dreamed of this, Serena.” His voice was low as he bent his head for the next kiss. ”I've dreamed of undressing you like this.” He slipped the chemise from her. Now only the breeze and Brigham caressed her. ”Of touching what no man has touched.” He skimmed a fingertip up her thigh and watched her mouth tremble open in speechless pleasure.
”Brigham. I want you.”
”And you shall have me, my love.” He circled the rigid point of her breast with his tongue, then drew it slowly, almost painfully, into his mouth. ”Before you do, there is much, much more.” If she could have spoken again, she would have said it was impossible.
Her body seemed sated already, sensation rolling over sensation, shudder wracked by shudder. Then he began.
The eyes that had begun to close flew open in stunned awakening. Her hips arched up, meeting his questing lips just before the first flood of terrifying pleasure poured through her. Gasping, she groped for him, only to find her damp palms sliding off his skin as he moved over her, lighting fires where he willed.
The roaring in her ears prevented her from hearing herself call his name again and again. But he heard. Nothing he had heard before or would hear again would ever sound quite so sweet. She moved under him, bucking, twisting, trembling as he found and exploited new secrets. The dark taste of pa.s.sion filled his mouth, driving him to find more, to give more.
Her skin was hot and damp wherever he touched, making him mad with thoughts of how she would be when he filled her. Could she know how weak she made him, how completely she satisfied him? His mind teemed with thoughts of her, memories he knew would follow him until he died. Each time he took a breath he drew in the scent of her skin, sheened now with her pa.s.sion and his. No other woman would ever tempt him again, because no other woman would be Serena.
She wanted to beg him to stop. She wanted to beg him never to stop.
Each breath she dragged into her lungs seemed to clog there until she feared she would die from lack of air or the surplus of it. Her eyes filled with tears, not from sorrow or regret but from the ache of a beauty so great she knew she could never describe it. Her strength ebbed and flowed, rus.h.i.+ng into her like wildfire, then pouring out like a waterfall.
But weak or strong, she had never known pleasure so huge. In some corner of her brain she wanted to know if he felt the same. But each time she began to ask, he would touch her again and send her thoughts spinning into a void of sensation. When his lips came back to hers, she tasted desperation on them.
Wanting to soothe, she answered with her heart, pulling him close.
He slipped into her, fighting with every fiber of his being to take her gently, struggling against every urge to plunge in to his own satisfaction.
Sweat pooled at the base of his spine. The muscles in his arms quivered as he braced over her and watched, as he had dreamed of watching, her face as he made her his.
She cried out, but not in pain. Perhaps there was pain, but it was so smothered in pleasure that she couldn't feel it. Only him. She could feel only him as he moved into her, became part of her. With her eyes open and focused on his, she matched his rhythm. Slow... beautifully, gloriously slow. The moment when they joined would be savored, like the finest of old wines, the purest of promises.
He bent to take her lips again and swallowed her sigh. He could feel her pulse around him as clearly as he could feel her hands stroke down his back. When he thrust deep inside her, she arched and the sigh became a moan. Now it was she who changed the rhythm and he who followed. It no longer mattered who was rider, who was ridden, as they raced together. His last thought as his pleasure burst into her was that he had found home.
She wasn't certain she would ever move again, or that she would ever wish to. Her skin was cooling now that the heat of pa.s.sion had faded into a softer glow of contentment. They lay tangled in the blanket, with the shadows growing long around them. His face was buried in her hair, his hand cupped loosely at her breast.