Book 4 - Page 102 (1/2)

“Why don’t you just tell him?” she asked gently. “He would be thrilled for you.”

“He might not even remember me.”

She laughed incredulously and it turned into a growl. “You make me insane.”

I walked to my couch and sat down. “I’m just nervous. What do I say? ‘Oh, hey, I’m over being mad, still into all this?’ ”

“The ‘Hey, I’m going to work with Maggie, got any tips?’ conversation is a pretty good opener.”

Closing my eyes, I told her, “Even with everything I knew about him, I would have no idea how he would greet me if I called . . .”

“You don’t call, Gem. You go to his house like you want to every day on your walk home, and you sit on his porch until he walks up and sees you and his d.i.c.k gets hard, and you tell him you got into Maggie’s group, and oh, by the way, you love him and want to have his giant babies.”

“What if I went over there and Portia answered the door?”

“She won’t.”

“Or, I don’t know, he worked through everything I said and decided that, logically, I was right. Boop beep boop, emotions managed.”

“Are you listening?” she asked. There was a current of frustration in her voice and I knew London well enough to know she was about to snap. It always took her a while to get there, but when she lost her patience it was done.

“Yes, I am. But—”

London began hitting b.u.t.tons on her phone, filling the line with loud beeps until I was forced to shut up and listen. “Are you done yet?” she asked when she returned.

“Yes.”

“Then hear this: This is real life, Ruby. This isn’t a movie where two single people come into a relations.h.i.+p with bad experiences that are actually completely hilarious and lighthearted and only made them stronger and healthier. In real life, relations.h.i.+ps come with a side order of ex-wives and ex-husbands and stepkids and pets the other person hates. Sometimes people get hurt and they don’t have two parents who are shrinks to make sure they come out of everything okay. An ex-wife—especially one that left him feeling less than thrilled with himself—that’s a lot to just get over.”

Swallowing, I told her, “I know. G.o.d, I know.”

“Then can you please forgive him for being a d.i.c.k and wanting to get some closure? You know I’m always here to support you, and I’m head cheerleader of Team Ruby ninety-nine-point-four percent of the time, but I think it’s time to go see him, to figure out if you can be together or if you need to move on. You’re in love with him. You’re the one who left it in limbo.”