Part 23 (1/2)
She smiled sleepily at William, her expression growing sweeter as it came to rest on Sam. He smiled back at her, thinking she looked almost normal. There was color in her cheeks and sparkle in her eyes. ”Hi, Phoebe? Are you behaving yourself?”
”As if I could do anything else,” she said, more quickly and clearly than she'd spoken the day before.
”I'm taking a walk,” William said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. ”I'll be back soon. Do you need anything?”
”No, thank you.” Phoebe patted the mattress next to her as Sam hovered at the end of the bed. ”Come here and sit beside me.”
Sam did as he was told, sitting down on the edge of the bed instead of the chair. There was plenty of room. Phoebe was so small, she barely took any s.p.a.ce.
”Did Alli and Tessa find the pearl?” she asked. He wanted to tell her yes, but the truth was that they hadn't.
”I'm sorry,” he said, realizing Phoebe was waiting. ”We haven't found one yet. But we haven't given up either. So don't worry.”
”Tomorrow is what day?”
”Friday.”
”We don't have much time left before the Fourth.”
”We'll find a pearl. We're going tomorrow at low tide to check the oyster farm by Vista Point. Alli said you used to have good luck there. We'll take Megan, too. She'll get to spend some time with her aunt.”
Phoebe smiled. ”All of you together. That's nice.”
”It might be.”
She lifted her hand to him and he took it. ”You have to make it all right, Sam.”
”I'm the problem, not the solution.” He shook his head in frustration. ”Alli keeps throwing me at Tessa, and Tessa seems to think maybe we could have something now that Alli is backing off. They both keep looking at me like I know the answer to some question, only I don't know the answer. In fact, I'm not even sure what the question is.”
”What do you want? That's the question.”
”I don't know anymore. I loved Tessa once. You know I did. But Alli and I married for better or worse. I made those vows in good faith. I always meant to keep them, until Alli decided to change the rules.” He sighed. ”Still, in my mind, Tessa was always the right one and Alli was always the mistake. Now I look at Tessa and wonder how I could fit into her life. But I look at Alli and wonder the same thing. Alli is moving on without me. Her business is going well. She's more confident than I've ever seen her. She used to need me for that. But she doesn't anymore.”
”She still needs you,” Phoebe said, patting his hand. ”But do you need her?”
”I know I miss her more than I ever thought I would.”
Phoebe's eyes softened with the wisdom of her years. ”That's a start. The rest will come, as long as you're all talking to each other. Can I tell you a little secret?”
”A secret?” Sam groaned. ”Do I really want to know?”
”I gave you that box of photos to shake things up.”
”Well, you certainly did that.”
”Don't be angry with me, Sam. I couldn't stand watching you and Alli drift along in unhappiness, never talking about that elephant in the living room, the one named Tessa. And I got tired of waiting for Tessa to wake up and come home. Life is short, Sam. You and Alli were wasting far too much of it.” She paused. ”I never thought Alli would ask you for a divorce, though.”
”It shocked the h.e.l.l out of me, too.”
”Because you didn't know what you had to lose until you lost it. And Alli didn't either. Now the two of you need to stop being stubborn and proud and work things out.” She drew a deep breath that seemed to come from deep within her soul. ”I'm so tired. I wish I could talk to you longer. I wish I could fix this.”
”It's all right. You need to rest.”
”If I made things worse, I'm sorry.”
”You didn't make anything worse. You just speeded up the inevitable.”
She smiled sadly. ”I hope that's not true. You and Alli have something worth saving.”
”I'm not sure what we have.”
”Then it's time to find out.”
He nodded. ”It would be a lot easier if Tessa weren't around. She confuses things.”
”You might think you can choose who you want to love, Sam, but that's not the way it works. Love chooses you.”
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. ”I'll see you tomorrow.”
”One more thing.” She hesitated, her expression reflecting her worry. ”If something happens to me, will you watch out for them both? They don't have anyone else.”
”Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said confidently, although he felt a ripple of uneasiness run through him. But she was getting better, talking better. He was imagining things.
”Promise me, Sam.”
”I promise,” he said.
”Thank you.”
He watched as Phoebe's eyelashes swept across her cheek and she drifted off to sleep. He hoped he wouldn't have to make good on his promise for a long, long time.
William re-entered the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. ”She's asleep,” he said with disappointment.
”Yes. She seems so tired.”
”I know.” He set his coffee down on the side table. ”It's awful getting old, Sam.”
”I've never thought of Phoebe as old.”
”Time pa.s.ses more quickly than we realize. I look back at all the things I should have said, should have done. Why didn't I?” He gave a regretful shake of his head. ”Don't waste time, Sam. Not a second. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did, no matter what kind of a hash you made of them. Living is about doing, not watching, not waiting.” He sat down in the chair next to Phoebe. ”I should know. I've waited forever.”
Sam didn't know what to say. He had no words to offer in comfort. He didn't understand the extent of Phoebe and William's relations.h.i.+p, but he sensed there was far more between them than anyone realized.
”Every time Phoebe wakes up, she looks at me as if she wonders why I'm still here,” William mused. ”Sometimes I wonder it myself. Oh, not because she's sick. I wouldn't leave her like this. But when she's better, maybe ... I don't know. I want to marry her. I want her to live with me, travel with me. I think she'd be happy. I think I could make her happy.” He stared down at Phoebe's face. ”But I can't seem to convince her of that.”
”Maybe when she's better,” Sam said. ”Although Phoebe doesn't really like to travel. She doesn't care for airplanes much, says she always feels better when she has the ground under her feet.”
”She doesn't like to fly?” William asked quizzically, looking over his shoulder at Sam.