Part 12 (1/2)

No baby grew in her womb, and it never would. Unless...

She couldn't dare to think such things when her friends celebrated one of the most magnificent events of their life. She'd have time to grieve later. Until then, she'd be the best aunt this child could hope for and take comfort in her friends' bliss.

It wouldn't be all suns.h.i.+ne and roses. She'd help them every step of the way, as they would have done for her if the situation had been reversed. Her own upbringing had taught her that a family is what you make it, not what you're given genetically.

The crew was a perfect example of that.

Joe's hand shook when it landed on her waist. She smiled up at him, hoping to erase some of the tight crinkles around his eyes. He suffered too. Maybe more than her. She'd promised him it didn't change anything between them. She loved him as much today as yesterday, more as each day grew the miraculous bond between them.

Still, after hugging Kate and taking his turn at offering felicitations, he stumbled from the room.

”What's wrong with Joe?” Kate paused, searching Morgan's eyes for signs of trouble. If she wasn't careful, her best friend would ferret out the drama and have them swaddled in her mothering before they'd properly celebrated her revelation.

”He's not feeling well. Probably doesn't want to risk getting you sick.” She squeezed Kate's hand, hating herself for the lie. ”I'd better go check on him.”

”Okay.” Kate chewed her lip. ”Let me know if there's anything you need. Either of you.”

”We will.” Morgan smiled without a hint of pretense. ”You're going to be the best mom in the history of the universe. I can't wait to spoil him or her.”

”Him.” Mike's arms folded across his chest. ”I wouldn't know what the h.e.l.l to do with a daughter. She'd be all gorgeous like her mom and I'd have to lock her up until she was seventy to keep boys from corrupting her.”

”Oh, I can just see it now.” Morgan patted the foreman on his puffed-up chest. ”You're in so much trouble. A daughter it is.”

”Shush.” His face blanched a bit. ”I could handle one little girl with my hands tied behind my back, right?”

”That's what he said,” Kayla sing-songed. The eight friends cramped in the kitchen erupted into laughter at the horror in Mike's wide eyes. The raucous cheering still echoed in Morgan's ears as she burst from the house in search of her husband.

They would get through this. As long as they stuck together.

She scanned the deck and found it empty, so she jogged down the stairs and around the corner to the backyard. Joe leaned against a tree, his hands jammed in his pockets, head hanging, breathing hard.

Her heart broke all over again.

She slowed as she approached. As always, he knew when she was near. ”Sorry. Just needed a minute.”

Morgan threaded her hands between his bent elbows and his sides. She splayed one hand low on his flat abdomen and the other over his chest, infusing him with as much warmth as she could impart in the chilly afternoon air.

For a while they rested there together. She counted the beats of his heart as it slowed from pounding beneath her hand to a moderate thump. Eyes closed, she could have stayed there with him forever. Long before she was ready to let go, he roused, s.h.i.+fting in her hold.

He pivoted on his boot heel, turning to face her.

”That was really selfish. s.h.i.+t.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair, making it stick up in adorable disarray. She wondered if he'd remembered to make an appointment to get it cut.

”I don't think so.” She reached up to cup his cheek. He leaned into her caress, heaving a sigh of relief or self-deprecation, she couldn't quite tell. ”You're allowed to grieve. But don't shut me out. We're in this together, right?”

”Sorry for your luck.” A rare fury entered his eyes, no doubt directed at himself.

Morgan had never had the urge to smack someone before. She yanked her hand away as if singed and took a hasty step back. She stumbled over a root from the gnarled old oak and would have fallen on her a.s.s if he hadn't snagged her out of midair.

He buried his face in her hair, which she'd worn loose today just for him, and breathed deep. In the bakery, she always kept it in a bun. ”I'm f.u.c.king this all to h.e.l.l and back.”

She separated them enough to grin long and slow. ”Come on. You know you want to say it.”

”No, I don't.” How did he manage to be so f.u.c.king cute even when he pouted?

She chucked his chin. ”Sure, you do. It's pretty fun once you get the hang of it.”

”Fine. That's what he said.” A ghost of a smile touched his extra-fine lips.

She couldn't help but smother it in a kiss until it blossomed into his radiant grin. ”I love you, Joe. There are other ways. We can adopt. Something. Maybe being an aunt and uncle will be enough.”

His grimace called her bluff.

The back door banged open hard enough to be a warning.

”Hey, are you all right, Joe?” Dave clomped along the deck, giving them plenty of heads up as he approached.

”Yeah,” Joe called. He hugged Morgan. ”I will be.”

”In that case, the girls are pitching a fit because you booked it before they could unveil their big deal.” Dave probably rolled his eyes. ”You're going to have to be on your deathbed, or hurling at least, if you don't get your a.s.s inside soon.”

”I promise you'll enjoy this.” Morgan stroked his cheek, surrept.i.tiously swiping the lingering moisture at the corner of his eye before his crewmate could spot it. She hated keeping secrets, but this wasn't the right time to share their disappointment. ”It's not very often that I get to surprise you.”

”I don't deserve you.” He dropped his head to her shoulder.

She would have ripped him a new one, then smothered him in affection until he couldn't deny the breadth of her love except Dave rounded the corner of the deck just then, spotting them.

”You sure everything's cool?” The big man chewed his lip.

”I love you.” Morgan rubbed as much of his back as she could reach in their embrace.

”That's everything to me,” Joe whispered in her ear. ”We can survive anything as long as we have each other, right?”

”Right.” She squeezed him tight.

”I'm sure.” Joe enveloped her hand in his, then headed toward his friend. ”We will be okay.”

”If there's anything I can do...” Dave lost his jovial mask.

”Not right now.” Joe shook his head.

Morgan's eyes burned when Dave hugged Joe and her husband didn't resist.

Then, as if by some Jedi mind trick, the two men snapped into their usual routine. ”Probably have some p.u.s.s.y hangnail, is that it?”

”Yeah, just like that time you cried over the splinter.” Joe socked Dave in his biceps. His loose fist bounced off a wall of muscle.