Chapter 3 - The Six Lines of Wisdom (2/2)

With a chuckle, he instantly understood that these men were all in cahoots with each other. Since the other Brothers had eaten until such obesity without any complications, this kind of wild gluttony must be safe. No wonder Xu Baocai had given him a challenge letter with so many characters written in blood… “Brother, this Lingzhi Mushroom is too delicious. My whole body feels warm.” Bai Xiaochun licked his lips, greedily looking at Zhang Fatso One.

Hearing this, Zhang Fatso One’s eyes lit up as he laughed heartily. From within his robes he retrieved a piece of Solomon’s Seal[1] and tossed it to Bai Xiao Chun.

“Little Brother, now you know how great this place is. Your senior has not lied to you. Eat up, there is still more to come!”

Bai Xiaochun’s eyes sparkled as he took another huge bite. Just as he finished swallowing, Zhang Fatso One retrieved a stalk of orchid. This orchid had a golden yellow colour and its fragrance spread in all directions.

This time, there was no longer any need for Zhang Fatso One to speak. Bai Xiaochun quickly bit into the orchid. Bursts of sweet and sour flavours filled his mouth and pleasure rushed throughout his body. Immediately after, Zhang Fatso One once again took out a red coloured spirit fruit. The fruit’s flesh was almost sickeningly sweet. Within the fruit, a strand of energy slowly revolved.

Thereafter, be it mushrooms, medicine, spirit fruits or orchids, Bai Xiaochun had taken a bite of everything, just like the other fatties. He had eaten till his head was spinning, as though he was drunk. His body was bloated with heat as wisps of smoke were even given off from the top of his head. He felt like his waist had expanded by at least a few centimeters.

As he continued to eat, Zhang Fatso One and the other fat men all softened their gazes. In the end, they were all patting their stomachs while chortling with a hint of conspiracy in their laughter.

In a drunken stupor, Bai Xiaochun spread out his arms and legs. His palm landed on the stomach of Zhang Fatso One, his leg hitting the ground next to him as he began to laugh loudly like the rest of the fatties.

“The other houses in this Handyman department have thought of all kinds of schemes to grasp the title of Outer Sect disciples. But we, in order to throw away the title of Outer Sect disciples have similarly come up with all kinds of ideas. Who’d want to be an Outer Sect disciple? This place is too amazing!” Zhang Fatso One crowed proudly. The more he looked at Bai Xiaochun, the better his mood became. He took out a piece of ginseng, its top bearing numerous rings. The countless whiskers of ginseng roots tangled together into a mess, a clear testament to its old age.

“Ninth brother, each of us have long since cultivated enough to become Outer Sect disciples. But we need to hide that fact. See this? This is a Hundred Year Old Ginseng. To fight for the opportunity to have even a nibble, the Outer Sect disciples would even break their skulls. Look at us though.” Zhang Fatso One plucked a strand of ginseng root and tossed it into his mouth, chewing noisily. After he had swallowed it, he tossed the rest of the ginseng to Bai Xiaochun.

“Brother, I’m full...This time, I really can’t eat anymore…” Bai Xiaochun’s gaze was unfocused and distant. He had truly eaten too much. But even as he spoke, Zhang Fatso One stuffed a piece of ginseng root into his mouth.

“Ninth Brother, you’re too skinny! If you go out like this, what kind of girl in the main sect would fancy you? The people here who are popular are all people who are round and glorious like your Brothers! Come, eat… We have a popular saying here in our Burning Stove Kitchen -- Better to die hungry on a stove, than to fight for glory in the Outer Sect.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll all be going to die hungry here. Yeah… All die hungry...” When he heard the popular saying, Bai Xiaochun patted his stomach and burped.

The other fatties had all started laughing, as they felt that this Bao Xiaochun was becoming more and more adorable.

“Today, we rejoice. Ninth Brother, let me impart to you an important piece of knowledge. When we, the Burning Stove Kitchen, eat, we eat with discretion. There’s a saying that I want you to remember:

Eat the corners of the Lingzhi

But do not touch the stem

Cut meat with a heavy hand

To remove bone leave three-tenths

For Lingzhi porridge add more water

And a small cup of wine to blend.

These six lines of wisdom are lessons that our ancestors, from many generations ago, have learned. As long as you eat accordingly, nothing bad will befall you. Alright, all of you can leave now. Today’s supper is over. Those Outer Sect disciples are still waiting for their soup.” Zhang Fatso One said as he began to pour rice soup into numerous bowls.

Bao Xiaochun was in a daze, as those six lines of wisdom filled his brain. As he looked at the fatties who were busy scooping rice soup and then looked at the rows of bowls, he burped and squatted down to pick up an empty bowl. After careful inspection, his lips cracked into a smile.

“Brother, this bowl isn’t that great.”

After Zhang Fatso One and the rest heard him, they looked towards Bai Xiaochun, their expressions full of curiosity.

“All of you, look at this bowl. It doesn’t seem to be big but actually can hold a lot of food. Why don’t we change it so that it looks big but in fact can only hold very little? For example, maybe we can make the bottom of the bowl...a little thicker?” Bai Xiaochun said with a smile, his face the very picture of angelic innocence.

Zhang Fatso One momentarily blanked. A feeling of immense epiphany struck him, as his rolls of fat slowly began to quiver and his eyes began to shine brightly. The other fatties had all sped up their breathing, the fat on their bodies wobbling.

- Pa! - Zhang Fatso One suddenly slapped his thigh, threw his head backwards and laughed towards the sky.

“Great, great, GREAT! This idea can be immortalized! It’ll bring huge prosperity to future generations of this Burning Stove Kitchen! Ninth Brother, from your innocent appearance, I didn’t think that you’ll be this full of rotten ideas! Haha! With your personality, you’ve been destined to work in our Burning Stove Kitchen!”

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[1]: A Solomon Seal is a herb that’s used in Traditional Chinese Medicine to improve internal circulation.

TL: The eating scenes remind me of a certain ecchi cooking anime…