Part 37 (1/2)
She did, though, do one thing Finian had bid. She kept her blade close.
”I'll not return her,” Finian kept repeating, after the other men had left. Each time he repeated it, his heart sank further. Until finally the king nodded grimly.
”So you love her.”
Finian threw up his hands. ”Why does everyone keep saying that?”
The king lifted his s.h.a.ggy brows. ”Because you're willing to take us to war for her.”
Finian stared, unwilling to repeat, yet again, that this war had been coming for some long time. He said only, ”She saved my life. I'm not sending her back.”
”She's distracting you. Weakening you.”
Like your father.
Which was exactly his deepest fear. The O'Fail didn't say the words, but he didn't need to. They reverberated in the air between them, like waves of heat.
”I've never been distracted before,” he replied in a low voice, packed with fury.
”You've never run out on us before, either.”
”I'm not running out on ye!” But he didn't meet his foster father's eye. ”I'm right here. right here.”
The O'Fail looked at him for a long time. ”Is there something you're not telling me?”
Finian took a deep breath. The king waited, he waited, and they stared at each other through the ensuing silence. Yes, Finian realized. Disappointment could pa.s.s into the territory of regret. At this very moment, his foster father was crossing the border.
”The reason ye cannot send her back,” Finian said, hearing his own voice coming in from far away, ”is because she's a dye-witch.”
The king didn't say anything for a very long while. It gave time for the wrenching pain to twist around Finian's heart like a steel wire. Och, if this was loyalty, it was a hurtful thing.
The king ran his hand across his beard a few times, then over his knee. ”I thought she looked familiar.”
Finian looked up sharply. ”My lord?”
”I suppose you were wise to not mention it earlier,” The O'Fail went on in a musing tone.
Finian felt the bite of impatience. Enough of intrigue. ”And why was such a thing wise?”
”Because men have a way of going mad when dye-witches come around.”
Finian nodded curtly. He hadn't held his tongue out of wisdom, seeking only a private moment with his king. He'd done it for very different reasons indeed. Ones he barely understood. If he'd been protecting something vulnerable, a creature weaker than himself, he could grasp the meaning of his silence, an action of near treason, certainly disloyal. But what he felt was nothing like that. Nothing at all. Protection, aye. But of an entirely different sort. And he had never felt it before.
He did not like it. It made him...weak. Just as his king had said.
The O'Fail studied him, lips pursed. Then he ran his palm across the smooth tabletop. ”Did you know Rardove had himself another dye-witch, decades ago? I saw her once.”
Finian felt cold. ”I did not know that.”
”Aye, he did.” The king stopped making palm circles on the table. ”She looked an awful lot like the la.s.s you brought to me.”
The coldness went deep, into his bones. He hadn't brought Senna to the king. But she was his now.
And yet, just now, another matter wanted his attention...Senna's mother had been a dye-witch for Rardove? for Rardove? How much worse was this going to get? How much worse was this going to get?
”She died,” the king went on, ”trying to escape. Nineteen years ago.”
Finian nodded silently as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He stared at the rushes on the ground. He could hear the people in the hall below, the loud buzz of their conversations coming up the stairs. Someone said something about Rardove, and there was a chorus of male shouts. He heard someone say ”the Englishwoman.”
”Bring her to me,” the king said quietly.
A low fire was all that burned in the trough at the center of the hall at this late hour, but Senna's eyes were well adjusted to the dim light. She'd been waiting for a long time. Seen the men tromp through the hall to a guarded office chamber. Seen them come out again. Waited while some came in to make their beds on the floor.
Now the hall was a huddled ma.s.s of sleeping male bodies, snoring and farting, scattered across the benches and rush-covered floor. A few men sat on a far bench beside the fire, talking in low tones, but otherwise the castle seemed to sleep. She couldn't stand in this corner all night, and was finally ready to admit defeat and leave, when the masculine voices by the fire rose in slightly slurred tones, just enough to be heard.
Light from the dying flames did not s.h.i.+ne far, and while the fireside conversants were cast in flickering shadows, the rest of the hall was drenched in darkness.
Senna paused, her cheek by the wall.
”Och, and 'tis only the whole English army he's bringing down on us, it is.”
”Ye're right. But I'll be glad of a reason to wield a sword well enough, whatever the cause.”
”And this thing with Rardove has been going on a fine long time. O'Melaghlin says the Englishwoman has nothing to do with it.”
”Naught to do with it, and naught to do with him, that's what he says all right,” complained a younger, higher-pitched voice. ”But still, we've an army marching for us sure as anything, and 'tis because she's she's here.” here.”
”Ye're right,” agreed an older voice. ”Maybe she t'ain't the reason, but she's sure enow the cause.”
”Naught to worry on,” said another voice. ”O'Melaghlin loves the ladies, but he'll not endanger our lives and lands over one. They're for bedding, not politickin', and he knows that as well as anyone.”
”Better.”
”Still,” said the young one, his voice a dark, drunken snarl. ”We should go teach her what we think of women who start wars.”
He rose unsteadily and tripped over his feet. The small group broke into predatory snickers and yanked him to his feet.
Senna backed up through the darkness, her hand at her chest. She waited until they were gone, then crept through the darkness, out of the hall, her heart and blood pounding. She staggered into the bailey and the autumn night.
She didn't belong here. They didn't want her.
The thought was so familiar it almost had taste. Metal, cold, rusty.