Volume Iii Part 7 (1/2)
That when he has learnt to live without his said Cane, he will wait on the Company, &c.
_The Memorial_ of John Rhubarb, _Esq_.,
Sheweth,
That your Pet.i.tioner has retired to the Infirmary, but that he is in perfect good Health, except that he has by long Use. and for want of Discourse, contracted an Habit of Complaint that he is sick.
That he wants for nothing under the Sun, but what to say, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy Malady of complaining that he is sick.
That this Custom of his makes him, by his own Confession, fit only for the Infirmary, and therefore he has not waited for being sentenced to it.
That he is conscious there is nothing more improper than such a Complaint in good Company, in that they must pity, whether they think the Lamenter ill or not; and that the Complainant must make a silly Figure, whether he is pitied or not.
Your Pet.i.tioner humbly prays, that he may have Time to know how he does, and he will make his Appearance.
The Valetudinarian was likewise easily excused; and this Society being resolved not only to make it their Business to pa.s.s their Time agreeably for the present Season, but also to commence such Habits in themselves as may be of Use in their future Conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real Incapacity to join with their Measures, in order to have no Humourist, proud Man, impertinent or sufficient ellow, break in upon their Happiness. Great Evils seldom happen to disturb Company; but Indulgence in Particularities of Humour, is the Seed of making half our Time hang in Suspence, or waste away under real Discomposures.
Among other Things it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable Familiarities. No one is to appear in the publick Rooms undressed, or enter abruptly into each other's Apartment without intimation. Every one has. .h.i.therto been so careful in his Behaviour, that there has but one Offender in ten Days Time been sent into the Infirmary, and that was for throwing away his Cards at Whist.
He has offered his Submission in the following Terms.
_The humble Pet.i.tion of_ Jeoffry Hotspur, _Esq._,
Sheweth,
Though the Pet.i.tioner swore, stamped, and threw down his Cards, he has all imaginable Respect for the Ladies, and the whole Company.
That he humbly desires it may be considered in the Case of Gaming, there are many Motives which provoke to Disorder.
That the Desire of Gain, and the Desire of Victory, are both thwarted in Losing.
That all Conversations in the World have indulged Human Infirmity in this Case.
Your Pet.i.tioner therefore most humbly prays, that he may be restored to the Company, and he hopes to bear ill Fortune with a good Grace for the future, and to demean himself so as to be no more than chearful when he wins, than grave when he loses.
T.