Volume I Part 37 (1/2)

No. 43. Thursday, April 19, 1711. Steele.

'Ha tibi erunt artes; pacisque imponere morem, Parcere Subjectis, et debellare Superbos.'

Virg.

There are Crowds of Men, whose great Misfortune it is that they were not bound to Mechanick Arts or Trades; it being absolutely necessary for them to be led by some continual Task or Employment. These are such as we commonly call dull Fellows; Persons, who for want of something to do, out of a certain Vacancy of Thought, rather than Curiosity, are ever meddling with things for which they are unfit. I cannot give you a Notion of them better than by presenting you with a Letter from a Gentleman, who belongs to a Society of this Order of Men, residing at _Oxford_.

Oxford, April 13, 1711. Four a Clock in the Morning.

SIR,

'In some of your late Speculations, I find some Sketches towards an History of Clubs: But you seem to me to shew them in somewhat too ludicrous a Light. I have well weighed that Matter, and think, that the most important Negotiations may best be carried on in such a.s.semblies. I shall therefore, for the Good of Mankind, (which, I trust, you and I are equally concerned for) propose an Inst.i.tution of that Nature for Example sake.

I must confess, the Design and Transactions of too many Clubs are trifling, and manifestly of no consequence to the Nation or Publick Weal: Those I'll give you up. But you must do me then the Justice to own, that nothing can be more useful or laudable than the Scheme we go upon. To avoid Nicknames and Witticisms, we call ourselves _The Hebdomadal Meeting:_ Our President continues for a Year at least, and sometimes four or five: We are all Grave, Serious, Designing Men, in our Way: We think it our Duty, as far as in us lies, to take care the Const.i.tution receives no Harm,--_Ne quid detrimenti Res capiat publica_--To censure Doctrines or Facts, Persons or Things, which we don't like; To settle the Nation at home, and to carry on the War abroad, where and in what manner we see fit: If other People are not of our Opinion, we can't help that. 'Twere better they were. Moreover, we now and then condescend to direct, in some measure, the little Affairs of our own University.

Verily, _Mr_. SPECTATOR, we are much offended at the Act for importing _French_ Wines: [1] A Bottle or two of good solid Edifying Port, at honest _George's_, made a Night chearful, and threw off Reserve. But this plaguy _French_ Claret will not only cost us more Mony, but do us less Good: Had we been aware of it, before it had gone too far, I must tell you, we would have pet.i.tioned to be heard upon that Subject. But let that pa.s.s.

I must let you know likewise, good Sir, that we look upon a certain Northern Prince's March, in Conjunction with Infidels, [2] to be palpably against our Goodwill and Liking; and, for all Monsieur Palmquist, [3] a most dangerous Innovation; and we are by no means yet sure, that some People are not at the Bottom on't. At least, my own private Letters leave room for a Politician well versed in matters of this Nature, to suspect as much, as a penetrating Friend of mine tells me.

We think we have at last done the business with the Malecontents in _Hungary_, and shall clap up a Peace there. [4]

What the Neutrality Army [5] is to do, or what the Army in _Flanders_, and what two or three other Princes, is not yet fully determined among us; and we wait impatiently for the coming in of the next _Dyer's_ [6] who, you must know, is our Authentick Intelligence, our _Aristotle_ in Politics. And 'tis indeed but fit there should be some Dernier Resort, the Absolute Decider of all Controversies.

We were lately informed, that the Gallant Train'd Bands had patroll'd all Night long about the Streets of _London:_ We indeed could not imagine any Occasion for it, we guessed not a t.i.ttle on't aforehand, we were in nothing of the Secret; and that City Tradesmen, or their Apprentices, should do Duty, or work, during the Holidays, we thought absolutely impossible: But _Dyer_ being positive in it, and some Letters from other People, who had talked with some who had it from those who should know, giving some Countenance to it, the Chairman reported from the Committee, appointed to examine into that Affair, That 'twas Possible there might be something in't. I have much more to say to you, but my two good Friends and Neighbours, _Dominick_ and _Slyboots_, are just come in, and the Coffee's ready. I am, in the mean time,

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

_Your Admirer, and

Humble Servant,_

Abraham Froth.

You may observe the Turn of their Minds tends only to Novelty, and not Satisfaction in any thing. It would be Disappointment to them, to come to Certainty in any thing, for that would gravel them, and put an end to their Enquiries, which dull Fellows do not make for Information, but for Exercise. I do not know but this may be a very good way of accounting for what we frequently see, to wit, that dull Fellows prove very good Men of Business. Business relieves them from their own natural Heaviness, by furnis.h.i.+ng them with what to do; whereas Business to Mercurial Men, is an Interruption from their real Existence and Happiness. Tho' the dull Part of Mankind are harmless in their Amus.e.m.e.nts, it were to be wished they had no vacant Time, because they usually undertake something that makes their Wants conspicuous, by their manner of supplying them. You shall seldom find a dull Fellow of good Education, but (if he happens to have any Leisure upon his Hands,) will turn his Head to one of those two Amus.e.m.e.nts, for all Fools of Eminence, Politicks or Poetry. The former of these Arts, is the Study of all dull People in general; but when Dulness is lodged in a Person of a quick Animal Life, it generally exerts it self in Poetry. One might here mention a few Military Writers, who give great Entertainment to the Age, by reason that the Stupidity of their Heads is quickened by the Alacrity of their Hearts. This Const.i.tution in a dull Fellow, gives Vigour to Nonsense, and makes the Puddle boil, which would otherwise stagnate. The _British Prince_, that Celebrated Poem, which was written in the Reign of King Charles the Second, and deservedly called by the Wits of that Age _Incomparable_, [7] was the Effect of such an happy Genius as we are speaking of. From among many other Disticks no less to be quoted on this Account, I cannot but recite the two following Lines.

_A painted Vest Prince_ Voltager _had on, Which from a Naked_ Pict _his Grandsire won_.