Volume I Part 11 (1/2)

Not long after the Perusal of this Letter I received another upon the same Subject; which by the Date and Stile of it, I take to be written by some young Templer.

Middle Temple, 1710-11.

SIR,

When a Man has been guilty of any Vice or Folly, I think the best Attonement he can make for it is to warn others not to fall into the like. In order to this I must acquaint you, that some Time in _February_ last I went to the Tuesday's Masquerade. Upon my first going in I was attacked by half a Dozen female Quakers, who seemed willing to adopt me for a Brother; but, upon a nearer Examination, I found they were a Sisterhood of Coquets, disguised in that precise Habit. I was soon after taken out to dance, and, as I fancied, by a Woman of the first Quality, for she was very tall, and moved gracefully. As soon as the Minuet was over, we ogled one another through our Masques; and as I am very well read in _Waller_, I repeated to her the four following Verses out of his poem to _Vandike_.

'The heedless Lover does not know Whose Eyes they are that wound him so; But confounded with thy Art, Enquires her Name that has his Heart.'

I p.r.o.nounced these Words with such a languis.h.i.+ng Air, that I had some Reason to conclude I had made a Conquest. She told me that she hoped my Face was not akin to my Tongue; and looking upon her Watch, I accidentally discovered the Figure of a Coronet on the back Part of it. I was so transported with the Thought of such an Amour, that I plied her from one Room to another with all the Gallantries I could invent; and at length brought things to so happy an Issue, that she gave me a private Meeting the next Day, without Page or Footman, Coach or Equipage. My Heart danced in Raptures; but I had not lived in this golden Dream above three Days, before I found good Reason to wish that I had continued true to my Landress. I have since heard by a very great Accident, that this fine Lady does not live far from _Covent-Garden_, and that I am not the first Cully whom she has pa.s.sed herself upon for a Countess.

Thus, Sir, you see how I have mistaken a _Cloud_ for a _Juno_; and if you can make any use of this Adventure for the Benefit of those who may possibly be as vain young c.o.xcombs as my self, I do most heartily give you Leave.'

I am,

Sir,

Your most humble admirer,

B. L.

I design to visit the next Masquerade my self, in the same Habit I wore at _Grand Cairo_; [2] and till then shall suspend my Judgment of this Midnight Entertainment.

C.

[Footnote 1: them]

[Footnote 2: See [Spectator] No. 1.]

No. 9. Sat.u.r.day, March 10, 1711. Addison.

Tigris agit rabida c.u.m tigride pacem Perpetuam, saevis inter se convenit ursis.

Juv.

Man is said to be a Sociable Animal, and, as an Instance of it, we may observe, that we take all Occasions and Pretences of forming ourselves into those little Nocturnal a.s.semblies, which are commonly known by the name of 'Clubs'. When a Sett of Men find themselves agree in any Particular, tho' never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of Fraternity, and meet once or twice a Week, upon the Account of such a Fantastick-Resemblance. I know a considerable Market-town, in which there was a Club of Fat-Men, that did not come together (as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with Sprightliness and Wit, but to keep one another in Countenance: The Room, where the Club met, was something of the largest, and had two Entrances, the one by a Door of a moderate Size, and the other by a Pair of Folding-Doors. If a Candidate for this Corpulent Club could make his Entrance through the first he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the Pa.s.sage, and could not force his Way through it, the Folding-Doors were immediately thrown open for his Reception, and he was saluted as a Brother. I have heard that this Club, though it consisted but of fifteen Persons, weighed above three Tun.

In Opposition to this Society, there sprung up another composed of Scare-Crows and Skeletons, who being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the Designs of their Bulky Brethren, whom they represented as Men of Dangerous Principles; till at length they worked them out of the Favour of the People, and consequently out of the Magistracy. These Factions tore the Corporation in Pieces for several Years, till at length they came to this Accommodation; that the two Bailiffs of the Town should be annually chosen out of the two Clubs; by which Means the princ.i.p.al Magistrates are at this Day coupled like Rabbets, one fat and one lean.

Every one has heard of the Club, or rather the Confederacy, of the 'Kings'. This grand Alliance was formed a little after the Return of King 'Charles' the Second, and admitted into it Men of all Qualities and Professions, provided they agreed in this Sir-name of 'King', which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the Owners of it to be altogether untainted with Republican and Anti-Monarchical Principles.