Part 41 (1/2)

”I am in earnest too,” said Nap. ”But you needn't be afraid of me on that account. I may be a savage, but I'm not despicable. If I take more than you are prepared to offer it's only because I know it to be my own.” He bent towards her, trying to see her face. ”My own, Anne!” he said again very softly. ”My own!”

But at his movement she drew back sharply, with a gesture of such instinctive, such involuntary recoil, that in an instant she knew that she had betrayed that which she had sought to hide.

He stiffened as if at a blow, and she saw his hands clench. In the silence that followed she stood waiting for the storm to burst, waiting for his savagery to tear asunder all restraining bonds and leap forth in devilish fury. But--by what means she knew not--he held it back.

”So,” he said at last, his voice very low, ”the Queen has no further use for her jester!”

Her heart smote her. What had she done? She felt as if she had cruelly wounded a friend. But because he demanded of her more than friends.h.i.+p, she dared not attempt to allay the hurt. She stood silent.

”Can't you find another _role_ for me?” he said. ”You will find it difficult to exclude me altogether from the cast.”

Something in his tone pierced her, compelled her. She glanced up swiftly, met his eyes, and was suddenly caught, as it were, in fiery chains, so that she could not look away. And there before her the gates of h.e.l.l opened, and she saw a man's soul in torment. She saw the flames mount higher and higher, scorching and shrivelling and destroying, till at last she could bear the sight no longer. She covered her face with her hands and blotted it out.

”Oh, Nap,” she moaned, ”if you love me--if you love me--”

”If I love you--” he said.

He put his hand on her shoulder and she trembled from head to foot.

”Prove your love!” she whispered, her face still hidden.

He stood awhile motionless, still with his hand upon her. But at last it fell away.

”You doubt my love then?” he said, and his voice sounded strange to her, almost cold. ”You think my love is unworthy of you? You have--lost faith in me?”

She was silent.

”Is it so?” he persisted. ”Tell me the truth. I may as well know it. You think--because I am not what Capper would, term a thoroughbred--that I am incapable of love. Isn't that so?”

But still she did not answer him. Only, being free, she turned to the garden-seat and sank down upon it, her arms stretched along the back, her head bowed low.

He began to pace up and down like a caged animal, pausing each time he pa.s.sed her, and each time moving on again as if invisibly urged. At last very suddenly he stopped with his back to her, and stood like a statue in the moonlight.

She did not look at him. She was too near the end of her strength. Her heart was beating very slowly, like a run-down watch. She felt like an old, old woman, utterly tired of life. And she was cold--cold from head to foot.

Minutes pa.s.sed. Somewhere away in the night an owl hooted, and Nap turned his head sharply, as one accustomed to take note of every sound.

A while longer he stood, seeming to listen, every limb alert and tense, then swiftly he wheeled and gazed full at the drooping woman's figure on the bench.

Slowly his att.i.tude changed. Something that was b.e.s.t.i.a.l went out of it; something that was human took its place. Quietly at length he crossed the moonlit s.p.a.ce that intervened between them, reached her, knelt beside her.

”Anne,” he said, and all her life she remembered the deep melancholy of his voice, ”I am a savage--a brute--a devil. But I swear that I have it in me to love you--as you deserve to be loved. Won't you have patience with me? Won't you give me a chance--the only chance I've ever had--of getting above myself, of learning what love can be? Won't you trust me with your friends.h.i.+p once more? Believe me, I'm not all brute.”

She thrilled like a dead thing waked to life. Her dread of the man pa.s.sed away like an evil dream, such was the magic he had for her. She slipped one of her cold hands down to him.

He caught it, bowed his head upon it, pressed it against his eyes, then lifted his face and looked up at her.

”It is not the end then? You haven't given me up in disgust?”

And she answered him in the only way possible to her. ”I will be your friend still, only--only let there never again be any talk of love between us. That alone will end our friends.h.i.+p. Can I trust you? Nap, can I?”