Part 37 (1/2)

'Martin said he'd be working late today,' says Nelly. 'So I won't have to sit in the house alone with all those windows ... I keep getting the feeling that someone's spying on me ... It's just because of you talking about this murderer. I know that, but still.'

'Is someone watching you, then?'

'No,' she laughs. 'I'm just scared of the dark.'

They head down Enskedevgen towards Sdertlje, and sit in silence as they drive past a long, grey noise-proof fence.

'You said you were sure the priest was guilty,' Nelly says, looking at him.

'He said so himself, he said he'd killed Rebecka ... but after hypnosis he suddenly remembered.'

'Remembered what, though? Suddenly remembered a woman who could confirm his alibi?' she asks sceptically.

'At first he remembered telling me about the alibi.'

's.h.i.+t,' she says. 'What happened? Did he get angry?'

'Yes, my chest feels a bit painful ...'

'Did you have a fight? Can I see?'

She tries to pull his s.h.i.+rt up, and he holds the wheel with his left hand as he fends her off with the right.

'We'll end up in the ditch,' he laughs.

She loosens her seatbelt and turns in her seat so she can look at him.

'But are you in pain?' she asks, undoing his b.u.t.tons. 'G.o.d, you're black and blue. What the h.e.l.l did he do? That must really hurt ...'

She leans over and kisses Erik's chest, kisses his neck, and then quickly on the mouth before he turns his face away.

'Sorry,' she says.

'I can't, Nelly.'

'I know, I didn't mean ... it's just that I sometimes think about that time we slept together.'

'We were incredibly drunk,' Erik reminds her.

'I don't regret a thing,' she says gently, with her face right next to his.

'Nor do I,' he replies, tucking his s.h.i.+rt back in his trousers with one hand.

They drive along the E20 for a while in silence. A few emergency vehicles race past with their sirens blaring. Nelly picks up her handbag, folds down the sun-visor to use the mirror, and touches up her lipstick.

'We could do it again, if we wanted to,' she suddenly says.

'That would never work.'

'No, I know ... I say things I don't mean, it was just a fantasy about how different everything could be in another universe,' Nelly says.

'All the lives we haven't lived,' Erik says quietly.

'Thinking like that is bound to be a sign of getting older.' She smiles.

'The tiniest choice closes a thousand doors and opens a thousand more,' Erik says. 'I lied about an alibi, and nine years later the lie catches up with me and I risk-'

'Yes, but you're an idiot,' Nelly interrupts, leaning back. 'I don't believe in that alibi, but I mean, if this woman confirms it, then I ought to report you.'

He gives her a sideways glance.

'If you want to report me, go ahead,' he says.

'Rocky's been locked up for nine years, locked up and medicated, and-'

'Please, Nelly,' Erik interrupts. 'I'm sorry, but I can't handle this conversation. I'm not going to ask you for anything, you can do whatever you like, whatever you think is the right thing to do.'

'Then I'll report you,' she says firmly.

'I don't care,' he mumbles.

'But it would be a lot easier if you weren't so sweet when you get angry,' she smiles.

'I dare say I need therapy,' Erik sighs.

'You need medication,' she says, and pulls a pack of Mogadon from her bag.

She presses out two capsules, takes one and gives Erik the other. He murmurs 'Cheers,' tips his head back and swallows.

65.

When Erik parks the car beside the school where Olivia Toreby works as a teacher, Nelly hesitates with her hand on the door handle.

'Do you want me to come?' she asks. 'Say what you think.'

'I don't know ... no, maybe it would better if you wait here.'

'So you can use your charm?' she smiles.

'Exactly!'

'I'll stay here with your dream woman,' she says, pointing at the little monkey in the pink skirt, hanging from the ignition key.

Erik walks across the playground, asks a caretaker for Olivia Toreby, and he points her out.

Olivia is in her fifties, a thin woman with a pale, worn face. She's standing with her arms folded, watching the children on the climbing frame. Now and then one of them calls out to her, or runs over wanting help with something.