Part 16 (2/2)

Rhiannon tilts her head back as though trying to hide her face from me. ”I know.” She looks back at me and tries to blink away tears, but instead one escapes and rolls down her face. ”I screwed everything up.”

”Text Derrick and tell him you're not coming. Otherwise, I'm stealing your phone and giving him a piece of my mind.” As I give her instructions, I feel like Rhiannon's big sister again for the first time in a long time. I hate how defeated she looks, but I also don't want to fight anymore. Not now. I expect this weekend will be a bit of a nightmare in terms of screaming matches, hurt feelings and crying sessions.

I was barely involved in any of this and I need to hide in a corner somewhere and have a good cry. And I'm not even sure Rhiannon will make it all the way home before she has hers.

When Rhiannon takes out her phone, I do the same. ”Don't.” Rhiannon moves her hand to cover my screen. ”Please don't tell them to come pick us up. I don't want to be stuck in a car with either Mom or Dad right now. Not yet. I need time to sort all of this out.”

”Okay,” I agree. ”Let's go home.”

”That's what I was trying to do.”

I know responding by telling her she is already home is not only super cheesy, but isn't going to fly. And I haven't even really started to think of Fairview as home yet either. But home is where my sisters are where my parents are. And even though Rhiannon is hurting more than I am, it still sucks a little to think she doesn't see it same way.

”Fine. I won't tell them where to come get us. But I have to tell them I've found you. You have to understand what this feels like for them. For all of us. I was imagining grisly murders, Rhi!”

Rhiannon doesn't apologize for everything she's put us through, but she does pull her hand back. I think she realizes that she isn't in much of a position to bargain from anyway.

While Rhiannon crafts her own messages, I type out mine. It's less than a minute before I have five responses back, with everyone having been glued to their phone waiting for news. Mostly, they're just relieved. Reece seems to be the only one of us who has immediately s.h.i.+fted toward anger. But we'll deal with that when we get home.

I don't bother asking what Rhiannon has told Derrick. I doubt she'd tell me anyway. She's still crying, and it both makes me uncomfortable and breaks my heart all at once. I hate seeing other people sad and never knowing what I can do to make it better. If I hadn't decided to wait two weeks before talking to Rhiannon, would all of this have been avoidable? Okay, so giving her s.p.a.ce had been the wrong move.

The two of us leave the library together, side by side. I wave to the bewildered librarian and brace myself for the incoming cold that whooshes in to surround us as we step out the door.

My mood s.h.i.+fts from confused and bewildered to miserable in five minutes flat as walk home. I have to think even Rhiannon is regretting insisting we walk in this weather, but she doesn't say a word. We both notice when a bus pa.s.ses us, heading out of town. She would've been on that. And it's possible she would've simply come back a couple days later, but I can't be sure. I don't think I'm any more ready to talk to her about what is happening here than she is to talk to me.

More than once, I consider pulling out my phone and calling Dad for a ride home. But we've come this far, and if Rhiannon needs time to clear her head this desperately, then I can do that. But she's going to make it up to all of us later. She'd better.

When we turn onto our street, we're greeted with an array of colored Christmas lights up and down all the houses, making the scene appear less gloomy than it feels. I'm sure that at least someone will be watching for us from the window, so in just a few minutes Rhiannon's self-imposed solitude is going to come to an end.

”Get rid of the bus ticket. If you still have it,” I say, not sure what made me think of it. ”If there is any chance of avoiding Mom finding out about your big plan, you want to take it.”

Rhiannon stops walking and looks at me, her fingers already fumbling around in her pockets. She takes out a small piece of paper and rips it into quarters before letting it go in the wind. I want to mumble something about not needing to litter, but that seems beside the point now. At this point, littering is the least of her sins today. It's hard to believe that when I remember my first ever date, this will be the overwhelming memory. Not Kent and I alone in a theatre, inching toward one another, with the possibility of holding hands. Not a first, nerve-racking kiss in some quiet corner of the mall while we wait for our parents to come collect us. Nope, instead I get this.

My heart thuds at even the thought of Kent leaning in to press his lips to mine, sending electricity right to my toes. But I don't even get to enjoy that thought for long.

”So what do we tell them?” Rhiannon asks. She's already ripped up the bus ticket, so I think we both know that lying to our parents is the best way to get out of this. Not all the way out. There's no getting around just how nervous she made all of us, or around the fact that my mom had to call the town police to report one of her kids missing. But, I don't think we need to tell them that Rhiannon was planning an unauthorized trip back to Richmond to go see her older boyfriend who our parents don't know about. No one needs that kind of headache.

”Tell them whatever you want,” I say, because I can't be bothered to make up a lie for her. I'll let her dig herself out, but I'm not doing the heavy lifting. ”But you need to tell Reilly and Reese the truth. Tonight. This will not be some little secret that we pretend never happened. You've been avoiding us for months, and never really talk about anything anymore. And if letting you do that is what led to this, then you know that it's not going to happen again.”

Rhiannon groans but doesn't argue with as she takes the first step up our driveway.

Chapter 25.

We don't even get to the front door before my mom's swings it open and immediately leans over to embrace both Rhiannon and I at once, and pull us inside. Now that my body is faced with the heat of the house, I'm shaking more than ever. ”Any chance bringing her home wins me some hot chocolate?” I ask, teeth chattering. My mom looks five years older than when I last saw her, and I desperately want to get us back to normal. Also, I would really like to be warm again. I don't even remember what the sensation feels like. Dad has been hovering in the doorway to the living room but retreats toward the kitchen, hopefully to grant my request. No one else says anything yet, but it has to be coming.

”I'm glad you're home,” Mom says before leaning over to plant a quick kiss on top of Rhiannon's head. She isn't much taller than we are now, so it looks a little awkward, but I can tell how deeply she means it. Soon after, she moves in for a second hug and whispers a thank you in my ear.

Neither Reese or Reilly goes in for the big reunion embrace. Ultimately, Rhiannon wasn't even gone that long. But now there's this huge emotional weight sitting on my chest anyway.

Somehow, Mom manages to wait until we're all seated around the dining room table nursing big mugs of hot chocolate and pa.s.sing around a bag of marshmallows before she asks the inevitable question. ”I don't want to yell, Rhiannon. But I need to know what happened. And you need to tell me it is never going to happen again.” Everyone's watching Rhiannon and I can see her choosing her next words carefully. I never pressed her to figure out what she would say rather than the truth. And I'm not actually sure she has any idea. But I'm actually hoping she's not stupid enough to tell the truth, because right here, right now, things are pretty okay. We are all here, everyone is safe and I need it to last.

”I wish I had some meaningful explanation to give you. It was stupid. I was just getting so cramped in this house, and I needed to get out. This town can be a little suffocating sometimes.” Rhiannon somehow manages a perfectly timed lip quiver before looking down at her mug. ”I'm really, really sorry. I tried to at least tell you I was okay but I wasn't ready to talk. Honestly, I'm still not ready to talk. But if that's what you guys need, I can do it. Whatever it takes to make this better, I'm in.”

I can see Reese rolling her eyes from the other side of the table, but I can't tell just how sincere Rhiannon is being right now. I have to think that her saying exactly what my parents want to hear, if there is such a thing in the situation, is something they could see right through. But neither of them respond, instead, my mom reaches across the table and puts her hand on top of Rhiannon's, giving it a squeeze.

”You know what, we've all had a long night. I hope it goes without saying that you will not be going anywhere this weekend, but we will discuss this further once we all get some rest and sort ourselves out a little.” She looks over at my dad, who nods. And the whole family meeting thing ends up lasting only a fraction of the time it took to get us here.

Our parents have never been strict, and Mom has always believed in parenting by letting us make our own mistakes. But between Rhiannon running away and Reese dying her hair without permission, both of which seem to have almost no consequences whatsoever, I'm wondering if I should have made some sort of big change or declaration before this new version of my parents wears off. Guilt from moving us back to Fairview can only last so long. But this is a little ridiculous.

And now I feel like a jerk for being mad that Rhiannon didn't get in more trouble.

My phone sits in my lap and I use it to text both Reilly and Reese while my parents and Rhiannon are still distracted by one another. Because I'm not letting Rhiannon get off quite this easily. To be fair, my parents don't know what I did, but Rhiannon scared us all and I'm not sure they're driving that point home enough for my liking.

We agree to all meet in my bedroom in five minutes and promise not to let Rhiannon out of our site until we get her there. This is happening, and it's happening now.

Rhiannon doesn't argue when I nudge her up the stairs and lead her into our room where the other half of our unit is already waiting. Not unlike our birthday, we all crawl into bed, sharing s.p.a.ce and covers to find comfort in one another. But this time, everyone is sitting up and alert. Rhiannon sits up near the head of her bed, using her pillow as support against the headboard. Riley sits on the other end with her feet dangling over.

On my bed, Reece and I sit side-by-side, our bony hips digging into one another as we push our legs out over the bed, our feet stretching exactly the same distance. I give her a quick nudge with my foot, just to say I'm here. She nudges me back and the tension on my chest eases just a little.

Once we're all settled, I'm faced with having no idea how to get the ball rolling. But Rhiannon speaks first. ”Yeah, I suck. You guys don't understand how hard this is.”

Three heads turned toward her as one. ”Umm... what?” Reece hardens her expression. ”Because if you mean the move to Fairview. We went through exactly the same thing. Except that we've all been trying to deal with it whereas you've been moping for months now. We all left people behind. And if you think about it, you left... Never mind.”

”Hey, you don't understand anything about what I left behind.” And even from across the room, I can feel Rhiannon getting her back up, something I can always trust Reece to lead the way on.

Reilly s.h.i.+fts uncomfortably beside her. ”Well, that could be because you haven't told us anything. I swear, we've all started keeping so many more things from each other.”

”Well, to be fair,” I say, ”Rhiannon has been hiding this particular thing from us even before we moved.”

”That's not fair. I told you,” Rhiannon snaps.

”Well, you didn't tell me when you were planning to hop on a bus back to Richmond today to just get away for the weekend. Oh, I'm sure we would of all had a great time this weekend heading up the manhunt, looking for you.” I match Rhiannon's tone as my rising anger kicks its way out of me.

”What, seriously?” Reece sounds impressed. ”You were going to take a bus back to Virginia all by yourself.”

”To see a guy.” I regret the words as soon as I say them. Not only was is not my secret to share, but it's not going to do anything to win Reece back over to my way of seeing things. It's probably something she wishes she would've thought of first. Though I don't think she would've ever actually gotten up the nerve to do it. But two hours ago, I wouldn't have thought any of us would have had the nerves to do something like that. Especially without telling one another first.

”I knew it!” Reece says, triumphant. ”When you were sneaking out back in Richmond. I totally knew it, but you wouldn't confess to anything.” Yet somehow, this revelation has sucked some of the venom out of Reece's tone. ”Tell me more.”

And Rhiannon actually does. She doesn't sound quite as love-struck as she did when she first told me about Derrick, but she shares every detail anyway. She fills Riley and Reece in on everything that happened before we moved, and I can practically see the puzzle pieces falling into place inside their heads. Because it explains a lot about how Rhiannon has been acting since we moved. But as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't excuse it.

After Rhiannon finishes, the four of us fall into silence once more. But this doesn't feel finished. Not yet.

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