Part 4 (2/2)

It is quite likely, too, that false and exaggerated things have been said to you about it and made you miserably afraid.

Now it _is_ a bad habit. It is bad because you feel it to be unworthy and rather unclean, and it creates unhappy a.s.sociations in your mind in connection with s.e.x, which is a very unfortunate thing for you. And it is a perversion. It is an unnatural way of satisfying s.e.xual craving, and, as you know, it leaves psychic disturbance behind it. The one perfect way of satisfying s.e.xual desire is complete union with a woman you truly and honorably love. That leaves behind it a feeling of complete satisfaction and rest. All other ways leave psychic disturbance. Further, this habit often leads to active h.o.m.os.e.xuality.

I hear of men who talk as if h.o.m.os.e.xuality was quite a normal and right thing with men of a certain type. It is, in fact, _always_ a regression (see quotation from Dr. Crichton Miller in chapter for girls, p. 107).

Do get that fixed in your mind. It is an abnormal, unnatural thing which has definite and evil nervous results.

But let me get back to the problem of self-abuse.

The Student Christian Movement lately collected from a number of doctors, psychologists, and other experienced people, a body of valuable truths and suggestions about this matter, and I cannot do better than pa.s.s them on to you.

_Firstly_, what are the facts about its consequences? These have been exaggerated. Its effects are chiefly psychical. It does not affect the intelligence or weaken mental power. It takes long to weaken the body, and it is rarely, if ever, a cause of insanity.

On the other hand, it does destroy self-respect; it does leave men psychically disturbed, and for that reason it affects consciousness of the presence of G.o.d disproportionately quickly as compared with other sins, and produces the feeling of loss of spiritual power. There are, in fact, abundant reasons for desiring deliverance, though there is no reason for panic.

As has been said again and again in this book, our s.e.xual nature is a gift from G.o.d, with glorious possibilities in it of enriching experience. That is why it is so very important not to misuse it.

Now if you really want deliverance, you have first to realize that the seat of the trouble and of the cure is in the mind. (Occasionally there is a slight abnormality that requires surgical treatment, but that is exceptional.)

The content of the mind in ordinary times is even more important than at the crisis. It may be too late then.

You must prepare the ground by resting on G.o.d even when you do not feel the need of Him. Fill your mind with clean, healthy things, and expel l.u.s.tful thoughts, even though they may seem to have no special physical effects.

Give full play to your affections--love of family, of friends, of men and women, and children.

Devote your bodily strength, and the life force that is in you, to great positive ends--the service of G.o.d and man.

Keep healthy. Here are wise practical details. Take plenty of exercise, but not too much. Men often fail when tired out. Avoid heavy meals-- especially late at night. Take cold baths daily. Do not lie in bed after waking. Avoid quacks like the plague. Beware of the reactions that follow emotional excitement. Work off your emotions in positive ways. Emotionalism has danger in it.

Learn to pray for the right thing, not for deliverance, but for strength for victory. Learn to trust G.o.d in all things--in this among others.

If you want to prevent the thing from obsessing you, you must not let your failures obsess you. Turn your back on them. The only way to drive out one thought is to put another in. An attempt merely to shut down is doomed to failure. Concentrate on active life and service. The truth is, you cannot have the help of Christ just for the cure of this evil.

Give yourself wholly to Him, and you will find He has set you free. You cannot bring religion in just for a part of life. If your whole life is in G.o.d's hands this trouble will disappear.

_Lastly_, a word to the man who is down and out.

G.o.d is strong enough and near enough for this never to happen again if you will let Him have the whole of you--not body only, but mind and heart and life. But if you do fail again, do not despair, do not blame G.o.d, and do not say or think that He has finished with you.

G.o.d's love is such that He will never turn from you if you turn to Him.

G.o.d is no farther from the failures than from the successful. He cares as much for those who fail.

The real and ultimate danger of this thing is not danger to your mind and body, but the danger that it may come between you and G.o.d.

Wherefore come back to G.o.d every time.

Remember, whatever the past has held, there are still great possibilities of happiness and victory before you through the power of G.o.d.

Others are in as great difficulties, and others who were in them have won through to victory. There is reason for hope.

We are not meant always to stand alone. Two are more than twice as strong as one. Perhaps you should share your difficulty. Only do not make it an excuse for getting mawkish sympathy.

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