Part 19 (1/2)
”Believed her, or loved her? Neither.” Nita stopped walking.
She had said all there was to say. She had been unable to resist what Sylvia made her feel, and after tonight she couldn't even lie to herself any longer. She still hungered for it. The wild pa.s.sion, the consuming pleasure, the mind-melting burn of o.r.g.a.s.m as it swept through her. Her weakness humiliated her. ”I don't expect you to do the renovations now.”
”Why not?” Deo studied Nita in the light of cars pa.s.sing behind them. ”I'm not angry.”
”You should be.”
”Why? Because we f.u.c.ked when we both wanted to?” Deo shrugged, feigning calm. If Nita walked away with this between them, she'd never get close to her again, and she wanted to now, more than ever. Not just because of the s.e.x, which had been unlike anything she'd ever experienced. But because she knew what it was like to pull a family apart, to be pushed aside and abandoned in payment for her sins. ”That's business. This is what it is.”
”What it is, is over.”
”All right,” Deo said, forcing herself to leave when she wanted to protest. When she wanted Nita naked in her bed, calling her name when she went blind with pleasure. ”I'll call you when I'm ready to start work.”
* 142 *
Winds of Fortune Nita watched Deo walk away and want twisted through her. She despaired of ever forgetting the feel and taste of her. Hard muscles and tight-nippled b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Hot whiskey and suns.h.i.+ne. Oh G.o.d, what have I done?
* 143 *
* 144 *
Winds of Fortune
CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
Tory tucked the chart from the last patient under her arm and paused when she saw the light fi ltering from beneath Nita's closed door. It had to be close to ten p.m., and despite taking the day s.h.i.+ft all week, Nita had been in the offi ce every night until after Tory had left. It had been so busy, they had done little more than pa.s.s one another in the hall, but the few times they'd spoken, Tory had noticed that Nita seemed tense and preoccupied. It wasn't her nature to interfere, but she hoped they were becoming friends. She knocked on the closed door.
”Come in,” Nita called.
”It's just the middle of July,” Tory pointed out with a smile. ”If you keep it up, you're not going to make it to Labor Day.”
”I don't think paperwork is going to kill me,” Nita said, ”although there have been times I've wanted to kill myself if I had to fi ll out one more insurance form.”
Tory laughed and settled into the chair across from Nita's desk. ”I know. I just wanted you to know I don't expect you to work eighteen hours a day. You're doing a great job. I'm really glad you're here.”
”Thanks.” Nita fl ushed with an unexpected surge of grat.i.tude at the affection in Tory's voice. Until the debacle with Sylvia the year before, her sister Lena had been her closest friend and confi dant. Now when they spoke at all, it was strained and coldly formal. ”So am I. I know we don't have to decide anything right away, but I already know I want to stay.”
”Good. Then we agree.” Tory tapped the fi le against the edge of the desk and pretended to frown. ”In which case I defi nitely don't want you overworking. It's Friday night. Shouldn't you be taking advantage of all the hundreds of women in town?”
Tory's tone was playful rather than suggestive. Still, Nita stared down at the desk to hide her reaction, because she had been considering just that for the last few hours. The brief, frantic s.e.x she'd had with Deo * 145 *
RADCLY fFE had completely turned her inside out. She couldn't stop thinking about it, about her, and she was as terrifi ed as she was on edge. It was just like the way it had been with Sylvia. She craved the taste of her, the feel of her, and she was constantly aroused. She'd talked to Deo on the phone twice during the week to approve the purchase of materials, and just the sound of her voice had left her wanting to come. It was worse in person.
She'd seen her once when she stopped by the house in the evening. She hadn't expected Deo to be around that late but she had still been there, checking on the early stages of the project. The sight of her had made her wet and, afraid that Deo would read the l.u.s.t in her eyes, she'd made some excuse and escaped as soon as possible.
Tonight she had been thinking that if she wore herself out with someone else, a stranger, she could get Deo out of her system. Maybe that's what she should have done with Sylvia, instead of allowing Sylvia to control her. Instead of meeting Sylvia in some roadside motel every time she called, instead of letting Sylvia walk into the hospital and f.u.c.k her in an empty examining room or stairwell or supply closet any time she wanted. Instead of biting into her own fl esh to still her screams while Sylvia went down on her at a family barbecue with Sylvia's husband just outside the open bedroom window, playing baseball with her brother and the other cops. Sylvia had craved the risk and Nita had craved Sylvia's relentless, insatiable hunger for her.
Shuddering from the memories, she said hoa.r.s.ely, ”Maybe. Maybe I should.”
She must have given something away in her voice, because Tory tilted her head and regarded her with concern. ”Something wrong?”
”No.” Nita feigned a smile. ”A case of the blues, that's all. I think I'll feel better when I'm settled. I feel like my entire life is packed in boxes.”
”Are things underway at the house?”
”Yes,” Nita said curtly, and then, realizing how that sounded, went on, ”Deo has a crew working outside on the roof and the windows and another inside redoing electrical.” She hoped her voice hadn't trembled when she said Deo's name, because she hadn't felt quite steady. ”Before long, I'll be able to live there.”
”You're not going to try living there while they're still renovating, are you? G.o.d, Reese tried that when she fi rst moved here, and after a few weeks the constant disruption really started to get to her.” Tory * 146 *
Winds of Fortune smiled. ”Fortunately, I got her to move in with me.”
”I'm sure that wasn't diffi cult,” Nita said, hoping to change the subject.
”Harder than you might think. I wasn't too trusting of relations.h.i.+ps at the time and Reese...Reese had never been in one.” Tory shook her head. ”G.o.d, we were a pair.”
”It's funny,” Nita mused almost to herself, ”when you see a solid couple you think that things have always been that way. That they never had issues to work out.”
”We're solid,” Tory said. ”As solid as any two people can be, but we certainly have issues.” She sighed. ”I never expected Iraq. I don't remember Vietnam, and who really imagines a war like this?”
”Where are things with that now?”
Tory grimaced. ”Nelson's illness has just about eclipsed everything else, and now Reese is working double and sometimes triple s.h.i.+fts. We haven't really talked about it.”
”Maybe that's a good thing.” At Tory's surprised glance, Nita shrugged. ”Reentry must be terribly disorienting. One minute, she's half a world away in the middle of a war. Added to the pressure of keeping other people from being killed, she must have been worried about her responsibilities to you-and then she's wounded and captured. A few days later she's home again. G.o.d, my head is swimming even thinking about it.”
”You're saying that the best thing for her is just that she's home,”
Tory mused aloud, although she was really talking to herself. ”That she gets used to being here, back in her life, our life, for a while before she... we...make any decisions.”
”I think so.” Nita leaned forward. ”Even though she's terribly busy, I imagine it feels good to her to be surrounded by people she loves, doing the work she loves.”
”Why didn't I see that?” Tory said reproachfully.
”Because she scared you to death and you thought you were going to lose her, and none of us sees too clearly when we're terrifi ed.”
”I think you're good for me.” Tory smiled and wagged her fi nger at Nita. ”Now you have to stay.”
”I'd like that,” Nita said softly, feeling just a little bit better for the last few moments of connection. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed that.
* 147 *
RADCLY fFE ”So? Are you going to get out of here before it's too late to go out and have fun?”
Laughing, Nita threw up her hands. ”I'm going. I'm going.”
”Good,” Tory said, rising. ”Let loose a little.”