Part 65 (1/2)
I asked, and she told me, which bed held this sick man, who would soon be a dying one. I walked slowly down the ward, thinking of this new burden of life-work that was laid upon me and how to meet it. My very heart sank. I was so helpless. And rose too; for I remembered that our Redeemer is strong. What could I do?
I stood by the man's side. He was thirsty and I gave him lemonade. His eye met mine as his lips left the cup; an eye of unrest.
”Are you comfortable?” I asked.
”As much as I can be.” - It was a restless answer.
”Can't you think of Jesus, and rest?” I asked, bending over him. His eye darted to mine with a strange expression of inquiry and pain; but it was all the answer he made.
”There is rest at His feet for all who trust in Him; - rest in His arms for all who love Him.”
”I am not the one or the other,” he said shortly.
”But you may be.”
”I reckon not, - at this time of day,” he said.
”Any time of day will do,” I said tenderly.
”I guess not,” said he. ”One cannot do anything lying here - and I sha'n't lie here much longer, either. There's no time now to do anything.”
”There is nothing to do, dear friend, but to give your heart and trust to the Lord who died for you - who loves you - who invites you - who will wash away your sins for His own sake, in His own blood, which He shed for you. Jesus has died for you; you shall not die, if you will put your trust in Him.”
He looked at me, turned his head away restlessly, turned it back again, and said, -
”That won't do.”
”Why?”
”I don't believe in wicked people going to heaven.”
”Jesus came to save wicked people; just them.”
”They've got to be good, though, before they” - he paused, - ”go - to His place.”
”Jesus will make you good, if you will let him.”
”What chance is there, lying here; and only a few minutes at that?”
He spoke almost bitterly, but I saw the drops of sweat standing on his brow, brought there by the intensity of feeling. I felt as if my heart would have broken.
”As much chance here as anywhere,” I answered calmly. ”The heart is the place for reform; outward work, without the heart, signifies nothing at all; and if the heart of love and obedience is in any man, G.o.d knows that the life would follow, if there were opportunity.”
”Yes. I haven't it,” he said, looking at me.
”You may have it.”
”I tell you, you are talking - you don't know of what,” he said vehemently.
”I know all about it,” I answered softly.