Part 20 (1/2)
”They _were_ at Lausanne. They were talking of going to Lucerne.”
”To stay?”
”For some time, I think. Papa was getting tired of Lausanne.
We shall know as soon as we reach our port.”
”Wonderful things will crowd upon you now, Daisy,” the doctor said meditatively. ”And you are as ready for them as ever.”
”Don't they crowd upon everybody?” I said, remembering what strange ones life had lately brought to me.
”Everybody does not see them - does not know it. You have this peculiarity, that you will not fail to note every one that comes within your knowledge. Europe will be a wonder gallery to you. And life, perhaps.”
”Oh, life is now, Dr. Sandford.”
He had been looking very grave. He smiled at me then, one of his bright, winsome smiles that the child Daisy used to get.
It made my heart sore with longing for him, and sorrow.
”Isn't it a wonder, that I live, and that I shall live for ever?” I said. ”That this world is only the portal to glory?
Isn't it a wonder, that there is a highway from these low grounds to Heaven's court, and that the gates of bra.s.s and bars of iron that stopped the way, are broken asunder? Isn't it a wonder, that the Prince of Heaven came down to open the way and to show it to us? and is there any wonder so great, as that, after this, any mortal should refuse to walk that way?”
”Grant Sandford, to wit!” said the doctor with an odd expression, something between pleased and displeased. ”I am afraid, Daisy, he would want an angel to go before him after all.”
I remember this little talk well, for it puzzled me and did not seem like Dr. Sandford. I remember nothing else of any interest till we came to Switzerland and I was near my journey's end. We had pushed on, sometimes by night and day; stopping only for necessary meals and refreshment. I wanted no delay. When we reached the glories of the Swiss mountains, even yet distant, my mood oddly changed, and I was no longer in a hurry. My life, I knew, would take a new turn, in among those mountains somewhere; and it might not, I had a shrewd suspicion that it would not, be a turn for my ease and comfort; and even while I was as eager as ever to see my father and mother, at the same time I was willing to take the last steps of the way more slowly, and enjoy what I had and what I hoped for together, before reality should displace antic.i.p.ation. This is my understanding of the mood as I look back to it; at the time I did not reason, but only was conscious of being ready to linger and willing to lose nothing of novelty and beauty on my way. However, lingering was not possible. By one conveyance and another we pushed our way on, till Lucerne, our place of destination, was reached.
I saw nothing in the town, almost literally, while we were making our way through its streets. I was in a breathless state; my senses could not play, or my mind could receive no impression from them. It was disappointment and relief too, when coming to the house where my father and mother lived, we were told that the family were gone out of town on some excursion and would not be back till evening. The servants told us. This was no hotel, but a nice little private house which my father had hired and where he and my mother were living entirely at home.
I knew I was at home, as my feet pressed the stairs going up to the little drawing-room. ”At home.” Not since we left Melbourne had the exquisite sensation come over me. It came now like a subtle perfume, pervading and surrounding everything. My eyes filled with tears of great joy, as I mounted the stairs. I would not let Dr. Sandford see them. He, I knew, felt like anything but crying for joy. He was certainly very honestly fond of me and of my company, and I was grateful for it.
The servant led us to a little drawing-room, out of which another opened; over the simple furniture of which my mother's hand had thrown a spell of grace. And luxurious enjoyment too; that belonged to her. A soft rug or two lay here and there; a shawl of beautiful colour had fallen upon a chair-back; pictures hung on the walls, - one stood on an easel in a corner; bits of statuary, bronzes, wood-carvings, trifles of art, mosaics, engravings, were everywhere; and my mother's presence was felt in the harmony which subdued and united all these in one delicious effect. My mother had almost an Oriental eye for colour and harmony. It was like seeing a bit of her, to be in her room. I lost my head for a moment, standing in the middle of the floor; then I turned to Dr.
Sandford.
”Now you are happy,” he said, extending his hand - ”and I will leave you.”
”No, Dr. Sandford - you will sit down and be happy too.”
”You could command me to sit down, undoubtedly; but I am afraid my happiness is beyond your power.”
”I wish it was not!” I said earnestly. ”You have been very good to me, Dr. Sandford.”
His face flushed a little and paled, and the eyes which were so fond of reading other people's seemed now to shun being read. I could not understand his expression, but it troubled me.
”Happiness is always beyond other people's power,” I said; - ”but not beyond one's own.”
”That's your confounded theory!” he answered, bringing the word out very gingerly and with a little laugh. ”I beg ten thousand pardons, Daisy; but a slight expression of indignation was an unavoidable indulgence just then. You would make every one responsible for all the troubles that come upon him!”
”No - only for their effect upon his happiness,” I ventured, doubtfully.
”You think the effect of troubles upon happiness is then optional!” - he said, with a humorous expression so cool and shrewd that I could not forbear laughing.
”I do not mean exactly that.”