Part 19 (1/2)

SPLURGE: No, sir.

SLADDER: O, yes, there are. Lots of them. But they're d.a.m.ned fools. And why? 'Cause they don't use their brains. They mess about learning Greek.

Greek! Can you believe it? What good does Greek ever do them?... But the money's not made yet, Splurge.

SPLURGE: I'm having it well advertised, sir.

SLADDER: Not so fast. What if they won't eat it?

SPLURGE: O, they'll eat it all right when it's advertised, sir. They eat everything that's advertised.

SLADDER: What if they can't eat it, Splurge?

SPLURGE: Can't, sir?

SLADDER: Send for my daughter.

SPLURGE: Yes, sir. (_He rises and goes to the door._)

SLADDER: The battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of some d.a.m.ned place. A million of money will be won or lost in this house in five minutes.

SPLURGE: In this house, sir?

SLADDER: Yes, in Ermyntrude's sitting-room. Send for her.

SPLURGE: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Miss Sladder! Miss Sladder!

ERMYNTRUDE (_off_): Yes, Mr. Splurge.

SPLURGE: Would you come to the study, miss, Mr. Sladder wants to speak to you.

ERMYNTRUDE: O, yes, Mr. Splurge.

SLADDER: The test! The test!

[_Re-enter_ SPLURGE.

SPLURGE: Miss Sladder is coming, sir.

SLADDER: The test!

[_Enter_ ERMYNTRUDE.

ERMYNTRUDE: What is it, father?

SLADDER: How are your white mice, child?

ERMYNTRUDE: Quite well, father, both of them.

Sladder (_draws a box from his pocket, takes out a little bit of cheese_): Give them that, Ermyntrude.

ERMYNTRUDE: That, father. What is it?