Part 17 (1/2)
”I am the wife of a lawyer, and at the age of twenty-two I graduated from college. A year afterwards I married Mr. Horton and have been married seven years.
My tastes have always been intellectual with a strong desire to lead and to be above those around me. I had little sympathy for the poor and ignorant, and those I had little in common with I kept aloof from. My friends looked to me as an authority on most subjects, as I travelled in Europe two years after I was married. It will do me good now to confess to you and tell you, I was cold, vain, self-conceited and my purpose in reading and travelling was not to help those around me, but to add glory and fame to myself, and to be thought a very superior minded person. I carried my head very high and a.s.sociated with but few. After seeing you and listening to your address, I can hardly describe the state of mind it left me in. But it was something like a lady might feel when she is dressed in her best and is very proud of her attire. While she is in that frame of mind she meets some one who has garments much superior to hers, and she sees that the clothes she is wearing are unbecoming and do not fit her, and that she has been under an illusion in thinking they were so rich and fine. For when the other garments are shown her, she feels she had been the most mistaken person in the world and longs to cast off the garments she is wearing, that she may put on these superior ones.
”Now that was my case exactly. I was the woman attached to what I thought were my fine clothes. You were the one with the elegant new gowns, and when you showed me so clearly that my own costume was nothing but filthy rags, I was ready to take the superior garments with which you presented me.
”When I think what a foolish, proud, vain woman I have been, I feel like covering my face with shame; like hiding my head somewhere. I intend that these feelings of remorse shall stimulate me towards manifesting the Divine, in love, in patience, in humility, and in meekness.
”I will go among the poor and ignorant and become one with them, in order to raise them to the realization of their Divine nature.
”May they see in me that love for them which I saw in you for all, and it will give me pleasure to tell those of my own circle how sweet the Divine life has become to me, and may I be a spiritual help to them.
”My husband was touched by your words, I am glad to say, and we are both trying to live the Divine life.
”When you come to Roseland, be sure and come to our home. We shall be very pleased to see you and have you stay with us as long as you can.
”Your friend, ”CARRIE HORTON.”
Another letter we will copy was from the leading banker of Roseland:
”First National Bank.
”G. Holmes, President. R. Wells, Cas.h.i.+er.
”ROSELAND, Cal.
”DEAR BROTHER PENLOE:
”It gives me great pleasure to address you as such, though I am a perfect stranger to you; but after hearing your address I feel at liberty to call you brother. I felt your great heart of love throbbing through all you said in your lecture. Now I must tell you that a man entered the building to hear you speak just out of curiosity. He would have laughed if any one had told him that he might hear something that he had not heard before or might be impressed by the lecture, for he felt settled, sure and certain in his own mind concerning all subjects of interest to him.
But when he heard your clear and forcible remarks, it knocked him off his feet, taking the last prop away he leaned on, and there was nothing left for him to do but to get on the same foundation that you are on. Bless G.o.d, I have done so, and now I am beginning to live as a new man, the Divine man.
”I used to walk the streets thinking I was a great man, the leading financier in Roseland, and the grand thought I had of myself was that I was a banker, being looked up to by those around me because of my financial standing. But those thoughts are now to me hay and stubble, and I have burned them.
”From this time forth my money and myself will be consecrated to the service of manifesting the Divine, and in helping others to do the same. As a proof of my sincerity I enclose a check for five thousand dollars for you to use as you think best in spreading the grand truth which you presented so clearly in your address.
May you, my dear brother, always realize in the highest degree the presence of your Divine nature.
”Your brother, ”GEORGE HOLMES.”
The following letter is one that is prized very much by Penloe. It came from the wife of a poor ranchman and bore the marks of its proximity to the wash-tub, the churn, a child's dirty finger marks, and the hot tears of a woman overcome with joy:
”TANGLEWOOD RANCH, ORANGEVILLE ...
”MR. PENLOE:
”DEAR SIR:--O, I have so much to say and don't know where to begin. I don't get any time to write, have been waiting for a spell, but don't get any, for one thing after another keeps crowding me. I have just wiped the suds from my hands, having left the wash-tub for a few minutes, saying I would not put off writing to you any longer.
”Well, we went to your meeting and never heard any one talk like you did before.
”My husband and I have not much learning, but you made it so simple and plain that we could not help understanding what you meant. I want to say how glad we both are that we went, because our lot in life has been dark and hard. I married my husband when a girl of seventeen. I knew so little, was so green, but was full of hope and expectations. What a hard experience I have had, for I have been married ten years and have six small children; so much sickness, so much hard work. O, dear! my life has been so hard. I cannot write any more now, as I must finish getting my was.h.i.+ng out.
”Well, my clothes are on the line and I am going to take a few minutes' rest and write a little more. Yes, life has been hard. How little a poor ignorant girl thinks or knows what is before her when she gets married. My husband has felt all discouraged, so many babies, so much hard work, such hard times to get a dollar, always in debt to doctors; it made us both grow cross and cranky and just as soon die as live. Our love for each other grew cold, and the attraction we had for each other died out. I told my husband he must take me out somewhere or else I would go crazy. Every day the same thing over again from morning to night, tending babies, standing over a cook-stove, then over a wash-tub, then churning, no end of dish-was.h.i.+ng and was.h.i.+ng babies' clothes. I am going to churn now, when I take a rest again I will write more.
”Well, the b.u.t.ter has come, I will rest and write you more.