2 Goodbye (1/2)

It's been another two years since she made that decision and something is different.

Jonas... seems to be really giving effort in concealing his affair from her. What else should she think about except this?

He is slowly becoming closer to her again. Trying to be the husband he was before he met his new love. As if he notices his distance and absentmindedness from her.

She can't help but think: He really wants to make sure she won't suspect his affair.

It persists for another three years. She wants to hope but does not allow herself to feel it.

The p.r.i.c.ks in her heart is becoming almost negligible.

It's already painful now. No need to further give herself any more deadly pain. It might just turn her crazy.

. . . . .

Cancer. She has cancer. Stage 4. Guess the Lord pitied her.

In a way, despite the horrible news, she feels thankful.

At least she will be gone first. She does not have to see him walk away from her. When she's gone, it'll be to the knowledge of him still being her husband till her death.

What he does after that is his choice. By then, she is willing to let him go.

. . . . .

Does it have to take her dying to get his full attention back to her?

Kara knows she already lost him long ago. Though he smiles at her, though he kisses her and touches her, his heart already belonged to another. Though he's trying to be closer to her once again and becoming her husband as before, she knows the truth will not change.

He's already gone. He isn't hers anymore and she does not think he ever will be again.

She had become used to it. Even the pain is already a familiar companion. The full and unrestrained loving attention she currently receives bewilders her, but she just rolls with it and accepts it with wide, open arms, her walls unconsciously breaking down.

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. . . . .

It's a lie, Kara knows. His care is only because of his guilt. He is still her husband after all. They are still married. He has the responsibility to care for her.

But she cannot help it. The treacherous snare around him effectively catches her without any effort on his part.

She still loves him. It never left. It remains there deep inside her heart, burning ever so strongly despite the battering she receives.

She continues to fall, and she allowed herself to live in this beautiful illusion.

At least she will have this good memory before she left for good. At least she will still carry the thought that even if it is just probably a responsibility, she have him wholeheartedly.

. . . . .

Her strength fades as each day pa.s.ses and the therapy isn't working. It's just prolonging her life and eating their money resources.

She isn't sad. She's happy.

She never thought a deadly sickness will be the key to giving her a good last memory.

Even if her suffering prolongs for some more moths.

. . . . .

It's time, she can feel it. Death is ready to take her and she's ready to accept it.

Jonas is the only person beside her in the hospital bed at the moment. She is an orphan and his family became her family. Currently, all of them are outside giving them some more privacy. Just like they always do when they visits.

No one really knows what their married life is like. Of what it became after.

Both her and Jonas even became actors in a ridiculous play that could go on forever. Both trying to make sure the other does not know their business.

He hides his relations.h.i.+p with her beloved woman from her while she hides the fact that she already knows.

They are a good husband and wife. She almost chuckles at her thoughts. Both have secrets and knows how to keep it well.

She's leaving though. It's time to come clean. It's time to let go.

Kara smiled genuinely at him, at this person that she never really fell out of love for, and it seems to have taken him aback.

Does he not realize that it's been too long since she ever smiled like this to him? Wide and genuine? Eyes clear and without any doubts and hesitation?

”Jonas...”

Immediately, he holds her weak hands, his grip tight yet gentle and secure, his warmth making her feel safe despite the circ.u.mstances.

”Kara...” his voice was soft and gentle, his eyes looking at her intently. She has his full focus. His eyes is its usual beautiful light, s.h.i.+ning and full of devotion, just like the very first time they had been together.

It's beautiful.

Kara remembers where they started. The first time they had met each other and became friends. His sweet courting, the happy times together, their beautiful wedding, their heartwarming married life, until everything spiraled out of control.

Until her world was torn apart and she is left a sh.e.l.l of her previous self.

Although it is sad, she is now thankful that they hadn't been blessed by their child yet. She does not want any of her children to ever feel the pain she had felt.

She looks at him again, memorizing his face. The contour of his cheeks, the thin lips, his thick eyebrow, his slightly crooked nose and beautiful brown locks of hair.