Part 24 (1/2)
”Then they are wrong!” the priestess exclaimed.
”They do well to serve the Christos, if they will truly follow his teachings, as you do well to serve the radiant Apollo. They are in error only in supposing that there is no truth but the one they see. But I will tell you this-their vision is a powerful one, and I foresee a time when the temple of your Apollo will be a tumbled ruin, his wors.h.i.+p as forgotten as that of the G.o.ddess who was honoured here before he came.
”Lament, oh ye high G.o.ds, and mourn you dwellers on Olympus, for a time is coming when your altars will be cast down and your temples will lie beneath the Cross.” Vision extended in a mosaic of scenes as I saw the Cross lifted above buildings of dignity and splendour, or blazoned upon the coats of men who nursed the sick or fell upon each other with b.l.o.o.d.y swords. Onwards rolled the vision, as the Sibyl spoke words I could no longer hear and the priestess crouched at her feet, weeping.
Eventually the images ceased, and I realized that the Sibyl had turned her gaze towards Cunoarda.
”And you, child-is there nothing that you would ask?”
Cunoarda's gaze fell, then lifted with a blaze of hope that transformed her. ”How long will I stay a slave?”
”When your mistress goes free, then you will be free as well, and a distant land shall grant you both a refuge. But before that comes to pa.s.s she must endure many sorrows and make a great journey.”
”Thank you,” whispered the girl. Her head was bowed, but I could see that her cheeks shone with tears.
”There is more that I could say, but this body tires. It is a sorrow to me, for I tell you that it will be many centuries before another comes who will allow me to speak through her.”
My head drooped, and for a moment then I was two beings in one body: the immortal Oracle, and an old woman who ached in every bone. I tired to cling to the consciousness of the Sibyl, but it was like attempting to hold back the ebbing tide. And then that vital presence that had upheld me was gone, and I collapsed into Cunoarda's arms.
By the time we returned to the palace at Baiae I was in full possession of my faculties once more, though my body, strained beyond its normal capacity by the power that had filled it, felt as limp as an emptied wineskin. As soon as I could speak I had cautioned Cunoarda to say nothing of what had happened, but to remember what had been said and write it down, for already the details were fading from my memory as a dream fades with the day. As regards the free folk of the palace she obeyed me, but I think now that she must have said something to my German litter-bearers, for from that time on they treated me with a reverence that went beyond duty, and I would hear the whisper, 'Haliruna' when I went by.
Crispus and the others were concerned for me, but they thought my collapse no more than the weakness of an old woman who had overtaxed her strength, and apologized for having dragged me on this journey on such a hot day. But I a.s.sured them that I had taken the risk willingly, though they did not know just how great that risk had been. And indeed it was so, for though my body ached, my spirit was soaring with the knowledge that the ability to touch the Otherworld that had been the delight of my youth was not lost to me after all.
We pa.s.sed through the palace gates as dusk was falling, but the place was full of lights.
”What is it?” I asked, holding open the curtain of the litter. ”Has the Emperor arrived? Are we having a feast that I had forgotten?”
”Oh my lady!” exclaimed the eunuch who was our steward. ”Not the Emperor, but perhaps a Caesar-the Lady Fausta began her labour this afternoon! She has been calling for you, domina. I beg you-go to her.”
I lay back with a sigh, wis.h.i.+ng this had not happened now, when I was already so tired.
”I will be no use to her until I have washed and eaten. This is her first child. There will be time.”
When I came to the birthing chamber I found Fausta alone, whimpering with each pain.
”Why have you sent your servants away, my child? They only want to help you.”
”They fussed and fussed until I could not bear it! OhAvia , it hurts so much! Am I going to die?”
”You are young and healthy, Fausta,” I said bracingly, taking her hand. ”I know this is not comfortable, but it will take a while for your womb to open enough to release the child.” I had borne only the one child myself, but in later years I had often a.s.sisted at the labours of the wives of officers in Constantius's command, and added that experience to what I had learned of the birthing woman's craft at Avalon.
I glanced towards the door where the midwife was hovering and motioned her to come in.
”She is doing very well,” said the woman cautiously. I wondered what Fausta had said to her before.
Fausta's fingers tightened painfully on mine as another pang came on. Her auburn hair was dark with perspiration and her face blotched with weeping above the distorted belly. It was just as well, I thought then, that her husband was not here to see her now.
”Talk to me,Avia ,” she said when she could speak again. ”A poem or a joke or a story about Constantine when he was a little boy, anything to distract me from the pain.”
”Very well-” I patted her hand. ”Has he never told you the story of how he won his first laurels? It was when Probus was Emperor, and we were living in Naissus.”
She shook her head. ”He talks to me sometimes about what he will do in the future, but he has never spoken of his boyhood.”
”Then I suppose it is for me to do, so that you may tell the tales to your children in turn.” I waited as a new pang rolled through her, but I think my presence had eased her tension, and her contractions were now not so hard to bear.
”Constantine had just pa.s.sed his seventh year, though he was always large for his age and looked older, and the Emperor Probus had offered a prize for the foot-races at the feast of Apollo.” As I continued, I let my voice deepen, making my words rise and fall with the contractions that were squeezing Fausta's womb.
”Constantine began to practise, running each morning with Hylas, who was the dog we had then. I would have breakfast waiting when they returned, panting, from the run.”
Gradually, Fausta was relaxing, riding my rhythms to find her own, even panting a little at the word.
”He won that first race easily, for among the boys of his age he was tall and strong. But the next year he moved to a higher division, and though he was as tall as many, they were stronger and more experienced.
He finished respectably, but he was not the winner, and you know my son does not like to lose.”
”What did he do?”
”I remember that he grew very silent, with that stubborn frown that we all have come to know. And he practised-morning and night throughout the spring. My son has always been a dreamer, but a practical one, who will make whatever effort is required to make his dreams come true. When summer came once more he was the winner again.”
Fausta gave a great sigh, then grimaced, remembering that her race was still going on. ”And the next year?”
”The next year we were transferred to Sirmium, and that summer the Emperor was a.s.sa.s.sinated before the races could be held.”
”Tell me something else about Constantine,” Fausta said quickly. ”What games did he like to play?”
I frowned a little, remembering. They say that the child is father to the man. It occurred to me now that I should not blame Diocletian for what he had made of my son-the signs of his future character were there in his childhood, if one had the eyes to see.
”He liked to gather the children of the other officers and parade down the street, pretending they were holding a Triumph. I remember once he tried to train two of the stable cats to pull a cart. That was one time he failed, and had to use the dog instead. I don't think he ever quite accepted the fact that sometimes you simply cannot gain agreement.”
And that, certainly, was a trait he had still. And now he was Emperor, with the power to enforce his will, unable to understand why the quarrelling Christian factions to whom he had granted his favour still clung to their enmities. The Donatists in Africa and the followers of the Egyptian Arius elsewhere, were being slandered by the orthodox with more energy than they spent on the pagans, and giving as good as they got.
”My husband is brave, and persevering and confident,” said Fausta, ”and his son will be just like him.”
”Are you so certain it will be a boy?” I smiled, but in truth I had no right to tease her, having been so certain I was going to bear the Child of Prophecy. I heard the sound of shutters being opened, and turning, saw through the window, the first light of dawn.
As the new day strengthened, Fausta's pains began to come more swiftly, and her whimpers became screams. The midwife tried to encourage her by saying that it would not be long now, but Fausta had reached that point where labouring women call for their mothers and curse their husbands.
”Tell that woman not to lie to me!” gasped Fausta. ”I am dying, I know it. Soon I will join my father and my brother among the shades, and I will tell them that Constantine sent me there!” She groaned as her belly clenched again. ”But you will stay with me, won't you,Avia ?
”I will stay with you, my dear,” I leaned to smooth the lank hair from her brow. ”And rejoice with you when your child comes into the world. Remember, the pangs you suffer are part of the work of the Great Mother-not pain, but power.”
Fausta's eyes closed in exhaustion, but I continued to smooth her hair, and never had I come so close to truly loving her as I did in that hour. I could feel the mighty forces that were working through her, and reached out to the G.o.ddess, seeking Her harmony.
In another moment Fausta's womb was contracting once more, but this time her eyes opened in surprise.
”Avia, I want to push-is something wrong?”