Part 3 (2/2)
Look into the water and you will see My face mirrored there, for you belong to Me ...”
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the image of the Lake, half-veiled by a silver mist of rain. Then the clouds parted. Standing on the sh.o.r.e was a young man whose hair shone like the beams of the sun, and nearby, I saw myself, my hair grown long, so I knew that this was some years in the future. I was moving towards him, but as I reached out to touch his hand the scene changed. Now I was seeing the light of a bonfire upon a Beltane tree crowned with flowers. Men and maidens danced wildly around it, and among them I saw the same young man, his eyes alight with exaltation as a veiled figure I knew to be myself was led forwards by priestesses crowned with flowers. Then he was sweeping me into his arms.
Now we were within the sacred bower. He pulled off the maiden's veil and I saw my own face, alight with joy. I glimpsed the crescent moon through the new leaves, and then the scene dissolved in a shower of stars, and I was myself again, looking up at the Mystery hidden by the white veil.
”I hear you,” I whispered in a shaking voice. ”I will serve you.”
”Will you swear now to give up your maidenhead only to the man whom I shall choose for you, in the holy rites of Avalon?”
I stared, wondering if this was a test, for surely the Lady had just shown me the man I was destined to love. But the voice had lost that unearthly sweetness, and I thought that perhaps the G.o.ddess had departed again. Still, I had known that this oath was required of all who served as priestesses on Avalon.
”I swear,” I said gladly, for even in that glimpse of vision my soul had begun to yearn for the young man I had seen.
”It is well,” said the Maiden, ”but there is yet Another whom you must hear-” I sat back, turning a little towards the second figure, whose crimson veil glowed with the torches' fire.
”I am the fruit that swells on the branches. I am the full moon that rules the sky...” This voice was all golden, powerful as the purr of some great cat, honey-sweet, and comforting as newly-baked bread.
”I am the sun in her splendour and the warm wind that ripens the grain.
I give myself in my own times and seasons, and bring forth abundance.
I am Mistress and Mother, I give birth and I devour.
I am the lover and the beloved, and you will one day belong to Me...”
As I listened to this voice, I understood that this too was the G.o.ddess, and bowed my head respectfully.
And in that gesture of acceptance, vision came once more upon me.
I was on a Roman trading boat, wallowing along under full sail. Behind me lay the silver glitter of the sea, but the boat was moving into the mouth of a mighty river that had carved many branching channels through a flat coastal plain. Beside me stood the man who had courted me, his eyes fixed on the horizon.
The scene changed: I was heavy with child, and then I was holding the babe at my breast, a large and healthy boy with a shock of fair hair. The shock of sensation as the infant bit down on my nipple sent me back into my body again.
”I hear you,” I whispered, ”and when my season comes, I will serve you.”
”You will indeed,” the Lady replied, ”but there is yet Another whom you must hear-”
I s.h.i.+vered as the dark draperies that swathed the third figure stirred.
”I am the nut that clings to the leafless bough,” came a whisper like the rubbing of bare branches in the winter wind.
”I am the waning moon whose sickle harvests the stars I am the setting sun and the cool wind that heralds the darkness.
I am ripe with years and with wisdom; I see all the secrets beyond the Veil.
I am Hag and Harvest Queen, Witch and Wisewoman, and you will one day belong to Me...”
That whisper was a wind that whirled my awareness outwards once more. I saw myself older, my garments rent and my cheeks wet with tears, watching a funeral fire. For a moment the flames parted and I glimpsed the fair-haired man. At the pain of that recognition, the scene changed to a hall faced with marble and gold in which I stood, wearing a diadem and a purple robe.
But before I could wonder what I was doing there, it s.h.i.+fted once more, and I saw myself draped in black, walking the sandy sh.o.r.e beside the sea. I turned from the merciless glitter of sun on water to a landscape of bare rock with the severe, stripped beauty of a skull. It filled me with fear, and yet I knew it was there that I must go.
And at that, a longing awakened within me for the cool mists and green hills of my own country, and I came to myself once more, sitting upon the gra.s.s beside the sacred well.
”You are the G.o.ddess-” I breathed, ”and I will serve You. Only let me end my life here, in Avalon...”
”Do you ask for compa.s.sion?” asked the black-veiled figure. ”I have none-only necessity. You cannot escape me, for I am your destiny.”
I sat back, s.h.i.+vering, but mercifully, the Wisewoman did not speak again.
I had not been aware of the pa.s.sage of time, but overhead the sky was growing pale, and I could feel in the air the moist chill that heralds the dawn.
”You have faced the G.o.ddess,” said Cigfolla, ”and She has accepted your vows. Purified, you shall sit your vigil, and when the day is done, return to the community to be honoured in a celebration. Your new life begins with the rising of the sun.”
Heron helped me to get up, and all the women moved towards the pool below the sacred spring. As the sky lightened, they surrounded it in a protective circle. Heron pulled off my cloak, and as I stood s.h.i.+vering, began to pull off her own robe as well. The other maidens and the younger priestesses were doing the same, and I felt a moment's satisfaction to see that I was not the only one whose skin was pebbling in b.u.mps like a plucked fowl.
I realized that for some time now birds had been singing, their triumphant chorus calling up the sun from the apple trees. Mist still lay along the ground and hung in the branches, but overhead it was thinning, and the failing torches burned pale in the brightening air. Moment by moment the world was becoming more visible, as if it were only now coming into manifestation. Slowly, the smooth slope of the Tor emerged from mists suffused with rosy light.
It grew brighter. Heron took my arm and drew me down into the pool. The other young women followed, sea-sh.e.l.ls in their hands. I gasped as the cold water touched my skin, and again as the fiery orb of the sun lifted suddenly above the horizon, refracting from each drop of mist and every ripple in the water in a blaze of rosy light. I lifted my arms in adoration, and saw my own pale flesh grow radiant.
Heron dipped up water and poured it over me, but the fire within me welcomed its icy flame.
”By the water that is the Lady's blood may you be cleansed,” came the murmur of voices as the other maidens did the same. ”Now let the water bear away all soil and stains. Let all that hid your true self be dissolved away. Be still, and let the water caress your body, as from the water that is the Womb of the G.o.ddess you are reborn.”
I sank down into the water, and the locks of my unbound hair floated upon the surface, s.h.i.+ning like the rays of the sun. A part of my mind knew that the water was cold, but my entire body was tingling as if I bathed in light; I could feel each particle of my flesh being transformed.
For a timeless moment I floated in the water. Then soft hands were drawing me upwards, and I emerged into the full light of day.
”Now arise, Eilan, clean and s.h.i.+ning, revealed in all your beauty. Arise and take your place among us, Maiden of Avalon!”
CHAPTER THREE.
AD 265.
It was the end of summer and I was tr.i.m.m.i.n.g the hazel hedge when something stung my calf. I jumped and turned, striking out instinctively with the branch I had just cut.
”Ah ha!” Dierna danced backwards, waving the twigs she had s.n.a.t.c.hed from the pile on the path. ”Got you!”
At eight, Dierna's red head blazed like a torch. Two-year-old Becca toddled behind her. I reached out to steady the little one as Dierna dashed away once more, then ran after her, swis.h.i.+ng my own branch menacingly, though I suppose I rather spoiled the effect by laughing.
”Are you watching Becca today?” I asked when all three of us had collapsed, breathless, on the gra.s.s.
”I suppose so,” answered the little girl. ”She follows me everywhere-”
I nodded. I had heard the older priestesses talking, and knew that Sian still tired easily. It was inevitable that Dierna should end up with much of the responsibility for her little sister.
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