Part 31 (2/2)

The hospital staff wouldn't allow me to stay overnight to keep Michael company, so I left the hospital at ten. A young nurse was kind enough to help me call for a taxi back to the hotel.

I cried my heart out in the dimness of the car. The driver, a fierce-looking man, scrutinized me in the rearview mirror and spat out, ”You all right?”

I shot back, ”Just let me cry in peace, will you?”

To my surprise, he shut up.

35.

The Hospital First thing next morning, I took a taxi to see Michael in the hospital. The large establishment was shabby, crowded, and stank of medicine. Beds were everywhere, not only in the wards but even along the corridors. Careful not to step on an outstretched arm or leg, I walked to the nurse's station and asked a skinny, bespectacled nurse the whereabouts of Michael.

”Bed number fifty-nine,” she said after flipping through a few pages of the thick registration book; then she scrutinized me for long moments. ”You're his girlfriend?”

I nodded.

”Then tell your boyfriend to be more cooperative with the doctors.”

”What did he do?”

She didn't really answer my question. ”Just tell him to show some respect for the second largest hospital in Chengdu.”

Michael was asleep despite the noise around him. His neighbors, a fortyish man and an old woman, were engaged in a loud conversation. I went up to his bed, put down a plastic bag of fruit I'd bought at a stall in front of the hospital, then quietly pulled out a chair and sat down beside him.

While my eyes were caressing Michael's face, I was conscious of the curious glances cast in our direction.

Michael's head was bandaged and his face and chest, exposed above the white bed sheet, looked as gaunt as a chiseled bust. I watched the slight quivering of his lashes and the soft rise and fall of his chest. Seeing his masculine body now weakened almost like a child's, tears stung my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

I'd been hearing all my life how the Buddha taught that life is uncertain. But it was different to see Michael, whom I'd blamed for always being in control of everything, now looking so fragile. Had it been just a little different, Michael would be as dead as Professor Fulton. Just as he lost his professor, I could lose him. As I was thinking, Master Detached Dust's husky voice suddenly rang loud and clear in my ear.

Eat while it's still hot.Don't wait till it gets cool!

Had the old, wrinkled sage's words been intended as a Zen lesson for me?

Then a poem emerged in my mind: Enjoy life to the full while you still can, never let the empty wine gla.s.s face the solitary moon.

But how to enjoy it to the full? It seems so clear in poems, but not in my life. Then I remembered Michael's poem, ”All these thirty-eight years, all empty now, can the rest be full?”

I wiped my tears, then took off my Guan Yin pendant to hold it in my hand and, just when I was about to recite the Heart Sutra to protect Michael, the middle-aged man, who'd been watching me as had the old woman, threw me a question. ”Miss, this laowai laowai your friend?” your friend?”

I nodded.

He grinned insinuatingly. ”Your boyfriend?”

I nodded again, feeling annoyed.

Now the old woman chimed in: ”Miss, you're lucky to have a laowai laowai boyfriend. Soon emigrate to America, huh?” boyfriend. Soon emigrate to America, huh?”

I really didn't know how to reply, so I returned a wry smile.

She went on. ”Lucky you, miss, your boyfriend's handsome, too.”

”Thanks,” I muttered. Please leave me alone! Please leave me alone!

Now it was the man's turn. ”But he's not well-behaved. He refused to take medicine last night.”

”Oh, did he?”

”Yes. They were going to give him an injection, but he wouldn't let them.”

I perked up my ears. ”Then what happened?”

The old woman said, her cloudy eyes animated, ”Your boyfriend had a big argument with the doctors and the hospital staff.”

”What did they argue about?”

”I don't know.” Old Woman cast a glance at her comrade. ”We only understand the doctors; don't understand English.”

The man's eyes brightened. ”Finally the head doctor himself came, and tried to persuade your friend, but he screamed at the doctor.” He looked at me to see my reaction, then went on. ”Head Doctor Zhou was very mad. Just stalked out. a.s.sistant doctor upset, too. Said, 'Hai, laowai 'Hai, laowai always means headache.'” always means headache.'”

Now Old Woman looked at me and asked eagerly, ”My daughter always wants to go to America-can your boyfriend give her English lessons?”

In order not to be rude, I said, ”I don't know; you better ask him yourself.”

”Good. Then you ask him for me when he wakes up.”

Now the man cast his comrade a chiding glance. ”Old Mother, I think we should stop bothering this young miss.”

”All right, all right, I'll shut up.” Pouting, she lay back on the bed, pulled up her blanket, and closed her eyes. Feigning sleep, I supposed.

The man unfolded his newspaper and began to read.

I took out the small book with the Heart Sutra that Yi Kong had given me and began to read it softly.

I'd been reciting and asking Guan Yin to grant Michael a quick recovery for I didn't know how long, when I heard a weak, ”Meng Ning.”

”Michael?” I put down my Guan Yin and the sutra on the bed.

Forehead wet with perspiration, Michael tried to sit up.

I grasped his arm. ”Michael, let me help you.”

He looked at me. ”Meng Ning?”

”Yes, Michael.” I touched his face and felt the bone. His cheeks were so sunken that it seemed to me his eyes were the only feature left on his face.

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