Part 25 (1/2)
She looked at me with a deadpan expression. ”Until not a single speck of sand is left. Was.h.i.+ng rice is actually was.h.i.+ng our heart and purifying our mind. We have to rinse and cook with one mind and one heart. Only after that can we have our mindful lunch.”
She went on, looking even more serious. ”Moreover, Zen cooking advocates three virtues: purity, freshness, harmony. That's why we're vegetarians. Because rich meat dishes confuse both our heart and mind, leaving no room for discipline and reflection. Not to mention the unnecessary killing of other sentient beings.”
Her seriousness and her eagerness to lecture impressed me, but they also made me want to giggle. With an effort to keep my face solemn, I asked politely, ”s.h.i.+fu, do you mean rinsing rice is actually a form of meditation?”
”Yes, of course.”
Now I couldn't help but tease. ”Then, s.h.i.+fu, is there any sleeping meditation, mindful sleep?”
To my surprise, her answer was, ”Well, of course.”
”You're serious? How?”
”Simple. You go to bed, focus on your breath, and empty your mind. Not only that, you'll fall asleep faster and more naturally and you'll be freed from nightmares.”
But at night when I lay in my bed, my mind, instead of being empty, was visited by New York thoughts, like ghosts wandering toward me from eight thousand miles away.
Yi Kong asked me to meditate three hours at a time, both in the morning and afternoon. Every day she'd come into the room to burn incense, pay respects to the small Buddha statue on the altar, then sit with me. Sometimes, during the burning of one incense stick, we'd recite together the Heart Sutra or the Incantation of Great Compa.s.sion-to acc.u.mulate merit for suffering souls, dead or alive. Other times we'd chant-Praise to the Incense Burner, Praise to the Ten Directions, Fragrance for Discipline and Meditation, and, of course, the Heart Sutra-until I felt my mind being carried away by Yi Kong's powerful voice, toward another level of consciousness.
Sometimes during our zazen, zazen, sitting meditation, when Yi Kong noticed that I was becoming restless or falling asleep, she'd wake me up and lead me in walking meditation. During tea break, we would enthusiastically engage in conversations about arts and Dharma. This always made me feel achingly nostalgic, remembering the years when my world had known no man, no Michael, no Philip, no Lisa, no love, no confusions, but only Yi Kong and her beautiful art objects, and, of course, the always trouble-free, compa.s.sionate G.o.ddess of Mercy. sitting meditation, when Yi Kong noticed that I was becoming restless or falling asleep, she'd wake me up and lead me in walking meditation. During tea break, we would enthusiastically engage in conversations about arts and Dharma. This always made me feel achingly nostalgic, remembering the years when my world had known no man, no Michael, no Philip, no Lisa, no love, no confusions, but only Yi Kong and her beautiful art objects, and, of course, the always trouble-free, compa.s.sionate G.o.ddess of Mercy.
This retreat brought back all the pleasant memories of earlier years. I still felt very fond of the nunnery. Of course, I admired Yi Kong the most, but my second favorite nun was the very young Enlightened to Emptiness. She was so simple and innocent that I secretly wished she were the little sister I'd never had.
But soon my fondness for the young nun was tested. One day, feeling restless during meditation, I decided to visit Yi Kong. A few steps before I reached my mentor's office, I took several deep breaths, smoothed my black robe, and tried to calm myself.
The door had been left ajar, and as I was about to knock, bits of conversation flowed into my ears.
A familiar young girl's voice chimed, ”Wow, this is a masterpiece!”
Then Yi Kong's authoritative voice. ”It's skillful. But the face is too sweet. Guan Yin can look beautiful, but never sweet. Don't forget that Guan Yin listens to the tears of the world and then reaches out to help. So her expression should be compa.s.sionate, slightly sad rather than sweet.”
I peeked in from the doorway and saw Yi Kong and, to my bitterness, Enlightened to Emptiness. A realization hit me-Yi Kong was teaching her to appreciate Buddhist art as she had me fifteen years ago! I could almost smell something bitter simmering in the air as another realization arose: Yi Kong seemed to be training Enlightened to Emptiness to be her Dharma heir!
Now Yi Kong was taking down an art book from the shelf and showing it to the young novice. The familiar voice snaked its way to my ears, asking the young nun the same question she had asked me years ago: ”I'd like to teach you Zen painting; do you want to learn?”
”Oh yes, s.h.i.+fu, I do!”
Though my decision whether or not to be a nun had occupied the very center of my mind, life in the nunnery was going on without me.
Feeling both sad and angry, I walked aimlessly for a while until I b.u.mped into something lumpy and let out a loud ”Ai-ya!” ”Ai-ya!”
”Hey, watch out, miss.”
I looked up and saw a big-bellied man with an oily, vulgar face. I almost asked, Mr. Vulgar, what do you think you are doing here in this nunnery? Mr. Vulgar, what do you think you are doing here in this nunnery?
We eyed each other suspiciously for a few seconds before we whispered a simultaneous ”Sorry.” Then, to my utter shock and disbelief, I watched him drag his bulk into Yi Kong's office.
When I was back in my room, my mind was still possessed with that man's vulgar face and the question: what was he doing in Yi Kong's office? Certainly not appreciating art objects. Then a realization hit me so hard that I gulped-he's a big donor to the fast-developing nunnery! That's why Yi Kong had to entertain him!
On the final day of the retreat, while I was helping the nuns to sew meditation cus.h.i.+ons, Enlightened to Emptiness came and told me that Yi Kong wanted to see me. I followed her to Yi Kong's office. My mentor was sitting in front of the Guan Yin picture, her face serene as usual. After Enlightened to Emptiness had closed the door and was gone, Yi Kong signaled me to take the seat opposite her.
After I sat down, she said, ”How's your meditation going?”
”Fine, s.h.i.+fu.”
”I know you have never had a natural inclination toward meditation. But a lot of people don't. So don't worry about it. Just keep trying.”
I nodded. She went on. ”I have another plan for you.” She paused to search my face. ”That is, of course, if you like the idea.”
”What is it?”
”The temple will sponsor you to go to China. Remember those pictures of the stone sculptures and cliff statues in Anyue grotto in Sichuan? I want you to doc.u.ment them for our nunnery.” She shuffled some papers on the table. ”And if we have enough money in the budget, we might even be able to publish your research later. We've already contacted the Circular Reflection Monastery there, and they're very happy to host you. Besides, Enlightened to Emptiness will also go with you as your a.s.sistant.”
My heart sank a little upon hearing the novice's name. So Yi Kong was definitely going to train the young nun to succeed her.
”So do you want to go?”
”Of course, Yi Kong s.h.i.+fu.” It wouldn't pay much, if anything, but it would be my first actual job as an art historian.
29.
Wedding Pictures Two days before I was to leave for China, as a farewell treat I took Mother to a teahouse that had a soothing atmosphere and served the best kind of tea.
We sat down just as a young tea ceremony instructor had begun telling the story about the imperial Meng Ding tea.
”Once upon a time in the Qing Yi River,” she narrated in her silken voice, ”a fish spirit had been meditating strenuously for ten thousand years until she finally transformed into a beautiful young woman.
”One day, dressed as a farm girl, she went to gather tea seeds on the peak of the Meng Mountain and encountered a young man out collecting herbs. They fell in love the instant their eyes met.
”As a token of love, the fish spirit gave her tea seeds to the young man. The lovers vowed to meet again the following year at the mountain peak when the seeds would sprout. The fish spirit said to her lover, 'That will be the day of our marriage.'
”A year later, when spring came again, as they had pledged to each other, the fish spirit and the young man met again on the mountain and married. On their wedding night, the bride took off her white lace shawl and threw it into the air. Mist formed instantly to nourish the tea leaves he had planted. Ever after that, the tea grew luxuriantly, and the couple lived a happy life that was soon blessed with a son and a daughter.
”As good times rarely last long, so the fish spirit's marriage to a mortal was finally discovered by the Qing Yi River G.o.d, who ordered her to return to the river at once. Taking leave with tears and a broken heart, the young mother said to her children, 'You must help your father to take good care of the tea leaves on the mountain...and make sure the mist keeps moistening the leaves.'
”Sixty years pa.s.sed like a horse-leap over a ravine. When the husband had turned eighty, and his children and grandchildren were all grown up, he found his never-ending longing for the fish spirit so unbearable that he jumped into a river and ended his life.
”So great were his accomplishments in tea growing that the emperor conferred on him posthumously the t.i.tle Master of Popular Wisdom and Wonderful Compa.s.sion. The tea he planted on the Meng Mountain was honored as gongcha, gongcha, Tea of the Imperial Offering.” Tea of the Imperial Offering.”
After the instructor had finished the story and her tea ceremony demonstration, Mother looked relaxed and happy. She sipped her tea with an imperial air. ”Ah, excellent tea. And what a touching love story!” Then she went on to praise the tale and the storyteller's pretty Chinese dress and silken voice.
Before I had the chance to say anything, she pulled my sleeve. ”Meng Ning, I suddenly feel very hungry; let's find a place to eat.”
”But, Ma-”