Part 20 (1/2)
”Con.,” he said slowly, even his voice seeming to have gained a new strange undertone, ”Con., you are an angel. You have set me on my feet.”
”On your feet, Evan?”
”Yes, on my feet, mentally at least. I don't suppose any one could set me permanently on my physical, corporeal pins. Beg pardon for the slang, Conny, I don't forget how you and Sybil used to lecture me for that, and my other vices. Poor sis, she had given up the drink talks latterly, given me over as hopeless, and so I am. Con., I have made a new resolve.”
Constance smiled faintly.
”Oh, you smile. You think I am going to swear off again. No, Con., that's of no use, I should know myself for a liar all the time. I shall never quit liquor; I _can't_ and I tell you,” he whispered this fiercely, ”they _know that I can't_, and they know _why_ I can't. Oh!
you need not recoil; we are not the first family that has inherited a taint; and I am the one unfortunate in whom that taint has broken forth.
Let me tell you a secret; since my first potation, my mother has never once remonstrated with me; never once upbraided; my proud, high tempered mother. She knows the folly of trying to reclaim the irreclaimable.
But,” lowering his voice, sadly, ”my mother never loved me.”
She shuddered at the tone, knowing that this last statement, at least, was all too true, and, to direct his thoughts from so painful and delicate a subject, said:
”And your resolve then, Evan?”
”My resolve,” his mouth settling into hard lines once more. ”Oh, that!
well, it is a resolve you put into my head, Con.; although I'll swear the thought was never in _your_ mind. I have resolved to act upon your advice; to curb my heathenish temper, and to _help Sybil_, when the _right time comes_, in the right way.”
She looked at him fixedly.
”Evan, are you sure this last state of your mind is not worse than the first?”
He laughed, ironically.
”How hard it is to make you believe that any good exists in me.”
”Oh, not that, Evan, but you look so strange; not so wild as before, but--”
”Just as wicked.”
”Well, yes!”
”Well, Con., you can't expect a fellow to feel pious all in an instant; mine is a pious resolve, and the proper feeling must follow. Isn't that about how they preach it?”
”That's about how they preach it, sir. Now listen, I don't intend to stir one step, or allow you to stir, until you have explained some of your dark sayings; you are going to tell me what this new resolve is.”
Evan glanced at her from under his long lashes, and seemed to hesitate.
He knew that Constance, in what he had sometimes termed her ”imperative mood,” was a difficult element to contend with. But he was not quite prepared to divulge just the precise thoughts that were in his mind.
”Con.,” he said, slowly, ”do you think, if my sister came back very penitent, or very miserable, that my father would take her home?”
”I don't know, Evan.”
”Well, that's another of the things that brought me to you. I was overwhelmed with misery, and my head was chaos. I was wild to wreak vengeance upon that man, and filled with dread at the thought that Sybil might come back and meet with no welcome. I believe she will come. I know that man would not miss the triumph of bringing her back among us.