Part 5 (2/2)

I suspect almost all of it.

Maniacal Slovenian monster-brain Slavoj iek once made a perverse, semi-relevant point about the movie t.i.tanic t.i.tanic; he argued that people are so out of touch with their true feelings that they mentally construct fantasies they don't even want, simply to feel like they have control over their unknowable desires. ”How is the catastrophe [depicted in t.i.tanic t.i.tanic] connected to the couple, the rich upper-cla.s.s girl and the poor lower-cla.s.s boy?” iek asked. ”After making love, they go up on the deck and embrace again and then she tells him, 'I will stay with you and abandon my people.' At that moment the iceberg hits the s.h.i.+p. What's the point? I claim the true catastrophe would have been for them to stay together, because it wouldn't work and they would split. It's in order to save that impossible dream that the s.h.i.+p must sink.”8 iek is essentially arguing that because we cannot understand what we want from ourselves and from other people, we construct fictional placeholders that help us feel secure within our emotional confusion. We a.s.semble and embrace false feelings in order to feel normal. In the same way, our inability to comprehend literal messages prompts us to pick arbitrary versions of media that become stand-ins for truth. iek is essentially arguing that because we cannot understand what we want from ourselves and from other people, we construct fictional placeholders that help us feel secure within our emotional confusion. We a.s.semble and embrace false feelings in order to feel normal. In the same way, our inability to comprehend literal messages prompts us to pick arbitrary versions of media that become stand-ins for truth.

The cinema verite on cinema verite on Friday Night Lights Friday Night Lights only works because I know what it is (and because I have pre-accepted what it signifies). I know its self-reflexive flaws are supposed to indicate that what I'm seeing is closer to reality, so I automatically make that jump with my consciousness. In other words, this entire style of filmmaking only exists to remind me that what I am watching is supposed to be life. And I'm used to this; I am used to things that are constructed solely to make me feel like I am experiencing something natural. State parks and zoos are like this. The personality of Michael Moore is like this. The small talk made between strangers, the noises people make during intercourse, and compliments given to small children are all like this. I don't know if I could enjoy a genuinely literal TV show about high school football, or if I could spend my life with a wholly literal person. only works because I know what it is (and because I have pre-accepted what it signifies). I know its self-reflexive flaws are supposed to indicate that what I'm seeing is closer to reality, so I automatically make that jump with my consciousness. In other words, this entire style of filmmaking only exists to remind me that what I am watching is supposed to be life. And I'm used to this; I am used to things that are constructed solely to make me feel like I am experiencing something natural. State parks and zoos are like this. The personality of Michael Moore is like this. The small talk made between strangers, the noises people make during intercourse, and compliments given to small children are all like this. I don't know if I could enjoy a genuinely literal TV show about high school football, or if I could spend my life with a wholly literal person.

4A There are many aspects about Ralph Nader that intrigue me, but none more than this: As far as anyone can tell, he's never had a single romantic relations.h.i.+p in his entire life. None. No ex-wife, no former girlfriends, no secret gay lover, no hookers, no one-night stands with savvy nineteen-year-olds who are hot to take down the Federal Trade Commission. You cannot even find a photograph of Nader that someone might misconstrue. There's just nothing there. And people have certainly tried to find this information. In fact, people have tried to There are many aspects about Ralph Nader that intrigue me, but none more than this: As far as anyone can tell, he's never had a single romantic relations.h.i.+p in his entire life. None. No ex-wife, no former girlfriends, no secret gay lover, no hookers, no one-night stands with savvy nineteen-year-olds who are hot to take down the Federal Trade Commission. You cannot even find a photograph of Nader that someone might misconstrue. There's just nothing there. And people have certainly tried to find this information. In fact, people have tried to make this make this happen: When he was fighting the auto industry in the 1960s, it's rumored that General Motors hired women to accost Nader in grocery stores and attempt to seduce him, all in the hope of discrediting his single-minded efforts to ensure that new cars didn't explode on impact. With the possible exception of Morrissey, I cannot think of a higher-profile figure so adamant about appearing as.e.xual. happen: When he was fighting the auto industry in the 1960s, it's rumored that General Motors hired women to accost Nader in grocery stores and attempt to seduce him, all in the hope of discrediting his single-minded efforts to ensure that new cars didn't explode on impact. With the possible exception of Morrissey, I cannot think of a higher-profile figure so adamant about appearing as.e.xual.

This makes sense.

It makes sense that Nader could not function inside a romantic relations.h.i.+p, as those are always nonliteral relations.h.i.+ps. All romantic relations.h.i.+ps are founded on the shared premise of love, a concept defined differently by all people. Conversations between couples are theatrical and symbolic; the first thing anyone realizes the moment they enter a serious relations.h.i.+p is that words (especially during fights) never represent their precise definitions. Nader would be paralyzed by the content of wedding vows-he would want to qualify everything. ”In sickness and in health” would become ”In sickness, with the possible exclusion of self-contained vegetative states, and in health, a.s.suming neither party has become superhuman or immortal.” It would be a deeply wonkified ceremony, probably held in rural Oregon.

Rivers Cuomo is not as.e.xual, but he has had a lot of relations.h.i.+p problems (or at least he used to). I a.s.sume those problems were manifestations of his literalism. Love songs from Weezer usually paint Cuomo as a self-deprecating doofus, and they feel commercially smart because the main character seems like an idealized reflection of the bespectacled hipster nerds who buy his alb.u.ms. But if the Weezer consumer ends up being a reflection of Cuomo, it's purely an accident-he's usually just explaining himself in very specific ways. He does (or at least did) look like Buddy Holly. He did, at one point, grow tired of having s.e.x with people. His interest in Asian girls is not affected-those are the women who consistently arouse him. In the song ”Across the Sea,” Cuomo explains how he received a letter from a female fan in j.a.pan9 and became obsessed with the paradox of being loved by someone who was completely absent from his life (at the time, he was depressed and attending Harvard). He sings, ”I've got your letter, you've got my song.” He's having a one-to-one communication with this woman in a public setting, which is why everyone thinks he's so emo. But it's more than that. Cuomo is ignoring the basic principle we all a.s.sume is part of the creative process; he is not ”creating” anything. If someone wants to a.n.a.lyze the nonsonic elements of ”Across the Sea,” they are not performing music criticism; they're psychologically profiling Cuomo in a totally clear-cut fas.h.i.+on. The only thing that can be deconstructed is the person himself. and became obsessed with the paradox of being loved by someone who was completely absent from his life (at the time, he was depressed and attending Harvard). He sings, ”I've got your letter, you've got my song.” He's having a one-to-one communication with this woman in a public setting, which is why everyone thinks he's so emo. But it's more than that. Cuomo is ignoring the basic principle we all a.s.sume is part of the creative process; he is not ”creating” anything. If someone wants to a.n.a.lyze the nonsonic elements of ”Across the Sea,” they are not performing music criticism; they're psychologically profiling Cuomo in a totally clear-cut fas.h.i.+on. The only thing that can be deconstructed is the person himself.10 This is why Weezer songs are not taken seriously, or at least not as seriously as they deserve to be. People don't want to think about singers as humans; they want to think of them as ent.i.ties who create songs This is why Weezer songs are not taken seriously, or at least not as seriously as they deserve to be. People don't want to think about singers as humans; they want to think of them as ent.i.ties who create songs for for humans. Moreover, they want to decide how sincere the creator is supposed to be-and the only way to do that is to start with the premise that the message is not the message. It cannot be literal. If it's literal, the process is already over. humans. Moreover, they want to decide how sincere the creator is supposed to be-and the only way to do that is to start with the premise that the message is not the message. It cannot be literal. If it's literal, the process is already over.

5 ”And make no mistake: irony tyrannizes us,” wrote David Foster Wallace in 1993, long before this kind of problem had occurred to someone like me. ”The reason why our pervasive cultural irony is at once so powerful and so unsatisfying is that an ironist is impossible to pin down. All U.S. irony is based on an implicit, ”And make no mistake: irony tyrannizes us,” wrote David Foster Wallace in 1993, long before this kind of problem had occurred to someone like me. ”The reason why our pervasive cultural irony is at once so powerful and so unsatisfying is that an ironist is impossible to pin down. All U.S. irony is based on an implicit, I don't really mean what I'm saying I don't really mean what I'm saying. So what does irony as a cultural norm mean to say? That it's impossible to mean what you say? That maybe it's too bad it's impossible, but wake up and smell the coffee already? Most likely, I think, today's irony ends up saying: How totally ba.n.a.l of you to ask what I really mean How totally ba.n.a.l of you to ask what I really mean.”

When I began writing this essay, Wallace was still alive. And because he was still alive (and because I wanted to write about the absence of literal messages instead of the proliferation of ironic ones, and because I knew I could never compete with the intellectual intensity of his work), it was my original intention to not mention him at all. But then he killed himself. In the wake of his suicide, it seems wrong to neglect referencing his views on what people mean when they say anything in public. Yet I suspect that the (very real) problem Wallace saw in '93 has evolved into something else entirely. It's not that we all collectively agree that asking someone what they really mean is ba.n.a.l; it's that we now a.s.sume that the real meaning of every statement is hidden by default. We a.s.sume that all all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time. statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.

Every time I publish a book, I get asked if what I wrote is actually how I feel. If I write a review about Chinese Democracy, Chinese Democracy, people will ask if I really like Axl Rose as much as I claim and if I'm being honest in the way that I describe liking his music. The same thing happens when I write about people will ask if I really like Axl Rose as much as I claim and if I'm being honest in the way that I describe liking his music. The same thing happens when I write about Saved by the Bell Saved by the Bell or ex-girlfriends in Minnesota or fictional characters with no ties to reality. The subject matter is irrelevant. My response to these questions is never the same. Sometimes I say, ”Yes.” Sometimes I say, ”Sometimes.” Occasionally I argue that the things I write are ”thought experiments,” or that I am only concerned with the technical practice of writing (with little care for the content), or that I am or ex-girlfriends in Minnesota or fictional characters with no ties to reality. The subject matter is irrelevant. My response to these questions is never the same. Sometimes I say, ”Yes.” Sometimes I say, ”Sometimes.” Occasionally I argue that the things I write are ”thought experiments,” or that I am only concerned with the technical practice of writing (with little care for the content), or that I am only only interested in forwarding my ideas (and artistically unattached to the manner in which they are presented). Now, all of these answers are partially true. But the deeper reality is that I'm interested in forwarding my ideas (and artistically unattached to the manner in which they are presented). Now, all of these answers are partially true. But the deeper reality is that I'm not not sure if what I do is real. I usually believe that I'm certain about how I feel, but that seems naive. How do we know how we feel? I'm likely much closer to iek's aforementioned description of sure if what I do is real. I usually believe that I'm certain about how I feel, but that seems naive. How do we know how we feel? I'm likely much closer to iek's aforementioned description of t.i.tanic t.i.tanic: There is almost certainly a constructed schism between (a) how I feel, and (b) how I think think I feel. There's probably a third level, too-how I I feel. There's probably a third level, too-how I want want to think I feel. Very often, I don't know what I think about something until I start writing about it. to think I feel. Very often, I don't know what I think about something until I start writing about it.

However, I do know this (or at least I think I do): When I am in the active, physical process of writing, I am writing literally.

It is always a literal, present-tense depiction of what is cognitively happening in my mind. Now, once a given sentence exists, that might change. Sometimes it changes just four seconds after I type it. But I still believe that sentence should be read in the literal context of its creation. I often wonder if we would all be better off if we looked at all idioms of art in a completely literal fas.h.i.+on, all the time. It would be confusing as h.e.l.l for the first twenty or so years, but I suspect the world would eventually make more sense than it does now. At least we could agree on whatever it is we're pretending to understand.

I am no longer afraid to believe what I read, so I will go first.

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