Part 49 (1/2)

”I don't kiss liars,” she said, and lowered herself to the ground by the fire. She set the Colt nearby, then eased herself down on her side and tucked the cloth mat under her head to use as a pillow.

Well, I was feeling too riled to sleep. I sat across the fire from Jesse and stared at her.

”I'll keep watch,” I said.

”You don't need to watch me. me.”

”I'm no liar, Jesse.”

”That so.”

”If you must know, I had to do some thinking about Sarah Forrest.”

”Stead of me.”

”Because of you. I needed to set matters right in my mind. You see...we were somewhat more than friends. I lived with Sarah for several months, and after the General and Mable were gone, we...we rather took up with each other. That's all.”

”That's all, huh?”

”I'm sorry.”

”Betcha wasn't sorry when you was bedding her.”

”I'm sorry now.”

After a while, Jesse said, ”Where you reckon she's at?”

”She might be anywhere. Maybe she returned to her home in New York.”

”Maybe she's waiting for you at Tombstone.”

”It doesn't matter, actually. I don't want to see her again.”

Jesse was silent for a spell after that. She lay motionless, curled on her side, an arm tucked under the pad beneath her head, her eyes open and staring at me from the other side of the fire.

Finally, she said, ”Don't go and throw her over on account of me.”

”You're not the reason. I made my decision before you ever came along.”

”That so.” She said it calm and snide.

”b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l!”

”No call to curse.”

”You're enough to drive a person daft!”

”It ain't me that had my way with Sarah.”

”And I suppose you're just as innocent as the day you were born? You told me yourself about all the blokes who've had at at you.” you.”

”Didn't a one of them get get me.” me.”

”That so,” I tossed back at her.

”Yep. And I aim to keep it that way.”

With that, she shut her eyes. It was just as good as if she'd walked away.

I had half a mind to throw a stick at her. The other half wished I was hugging her. She was just the most infuriating woman that ever crossed my path.

My plan, from the start, had been to get shut of her at the first opportunity.

The sooner the better, I thought. All she does is make me crazy.

But the notion of parting with her made me feel cold and empty inside. I recalled how miserable I'd been after the flood, thinking her dead, and my joy when I found her.

Found her hogtied by the German.

Hadn't been for me, he would've had his way with Jesse for sure. She wouldn't be so high and mighty after that, and hold it against me about Sarah. Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to rescue her.

Well, thinking such a thing made me feel awful lowdown, so I took it back and judged I was glad I'd saved her in time.

I wanted to stop thinking about her altogether. Sleep ought to do that. So I added more wood to the fire, then unstrapped my gunbelt and stretched out. The ground felt mighty hard. The fire kept the cold off my front, mostly, but it was no use at all for warming my backside.

Maybe we should've skinned that mule and made us a blanket from its hide.

The mule was long gone, though. No advantage to bothering your head about what you might've done different.

I lay on my side, curled close to the flames, and commenced to ponder all the things I might've done different if only I'd known what was to come.

It all ended up with this-from the time I'd set out for Whitechapel on that night so long ago, any different sort of move that might've saved me or the others from grief would've likely changed the direction of my life so that I never would've turned up where I was when Jesse bounced the rock off my head.

Maybe that would've been for the best, I told myself.

Didn't believe it, though. I judged I'd go through it all again for the chance to join up with Jesse.

I must've fallen asleep, for I woke up. It was still night. Colder than before. So cold I was s.h.i.+vering. What must've stirred me awake was Jesse adding wood to the fire. She was crouched at the other side of it, taking sticks from the pile and feeding them to the flames. She wasn't looking at me. I kept mum and shut my eyes. And pretended to be asleep even when she lay down behind me and snuggled in close and wrapped an arm across my chest.

I was purely astonished by her behavior.

It came into my head that this might not be happening at all. Maybe I was having myself another fantasy, like those last night. Or maybe it was a dream.

Jesse sure felt real, though.

Her warmth seeped through my clothes. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s pushed against my back. I could feel her heartbeat and every breath she took.