Volume II Part 26 (1/2)

Indeed I did not. It was impossible I could think of such a strange expectation, upon a compliance made only to shew I would comply in all that was in my power to comply with.

I might easily, she said, have supposed, that every one thought I was beginning to oblige them all, by the kind behaviour of my brother and sister to me in the garden, last Sunday; by my sister's visit to me afterwards in my chamber (although both more stiffly received by me, than were either wished or expected); by my uncle Harlowe's affectionate visit to me the same afternoon, not indeed so very gratefully received as I used to receive his favours:--but this he kindly imputed to the displeasure I had conceived at my confinement, and to my intention to come off by degrees, that I might keep myself in countenance for my past opposition.

See, my dear, the low cunning of that Sunday-management, which then so much surprised me! And see the reason why Dr. Lewen was admitted to visit me, yet forbore to enter upon a subject about which I thought he came to talk to me!--For it seems there was no occasion to dispute with me on the point I was to be supposed to have conceded to.--See, also, how unfairly my brother and sister must have represented their pretended kindness, when (though the had an end to answer by appearing kind) their antipathy to me seems to have been so strong, that they could not help insulting me by their arm-in-arm lover-like behaviour to each other; as my sister afterwards likewise did, when she came to borrow my Kempis.

I lifted up my hands and eyes! I cannot, said I, give this treatment a name! The end so unlikely to be answered by means so low! I know whose the whole is! He that could get my uncle Harlowe to contribute his part, and to procure the acquiescence of the rest of my friends to it, must have the power to do any thing with them against me.

Again my aunt told me, that talking and invective, now I had given the expectation, would signify nothing. She hoped I would not shew every one, that they had been too forward in their constructions of my desire to oblige them. She could a.s.sure me, that it would be worse for me, if now I receded, than if I had never advanced.

Advanced, Madam! How can you say advanced? Why, this is a trick upon me! A poor low trick! Pardon me, Madam, I don't say you have a hand in it.--But, my dearest Aunt, tell me, Will not my mother be present at this dreaded interview? Will she not so far favour me? Were it but to qualify--

Qualify, my dear, interrupted she--your mother, and your uncle Harlowe would not be present on this occasion for the world--

O then, Madam, how can they look upon my consent to this interview as an advance?

My aunt was displeased at this home-push. Miss Clary, said she, there is no dealing with you. It would be happy for you, and for every body else, were your obedience as ready as your wit. I will leave you--

Not in anger, I hope, Madam, interrupted I--all I meant was, to observe, that let the meeting issue as it may, and as it must issue, it cannot be a disappointment to any body.

O Miss! you seem to be a very determined young creature. Mr. Solmes will be here at your time: and remember once more, that upon the coming afternoon depend upon the peace of your whole family, and your own happiness.

And so saying, down she hurried.

Here I will stop. In what way I shall resume, or when, is not left to me to conjecture; much less determine. I am excessively uneasy!--No good news from your mother, I doubt!--I will deposit thus far, for fear of the worst.

Adieu, my best, rather, my only friend! CL. HARLOWE.

LETTER x.x.xIV

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE TUESDAY EVENING; AND CONTINUED THROUGH THE NIGHT.

Well, my dear, I am alive, and here! but how long I shall be either here, or alive, I cannot say. I have a vast deal to write; and perhaps shall have little time for it. Nevertheless, I must tell you how the saucy Betty again discomposed me, when she came up with this Solmes's message; although, as you will remember from my last, I was in a way before that wanted no additional surprises.

Miss! Miss! Miss! cried she, as fast as she could speak, with her arms spread abroad, and all her fingers distended, and held up, will you be pleased to walk down into your own parlour?--There is every body, I will a.s.sure you in full congregation!--And there is Mr. Solmes, as fine as a lord, with a charming white peruke, fine laced s.h.i.+rt and ruffles, coat trimmed with silver, and a waistcoat standing on end with lace!--Quite handsome, believe me!--You never saw such an alteration!--Ah! Miss, shaking her head, 'tis pity you have said so much against him! but you will know how to come off for all that!--I hope it will not be too late!

Impertinence! said I--Wert thou bid to come up in this fluttering way?--and I took up my fan, and fanned myself.

Bless me! said she, how soon these fine young ladies will be put into fl.u.s.terations!--I mean not either to offend or frighten you, I am sure.--

Every body there, do you say?--Who do you call every body?

Why, Miss, holding out her left palm opened, and with a flourish, and a saucy leer, patting it with the fore finger of the other, at every mentioned person, there is your papa!--there is your mamma!--there is your uncle Harlowe!--there is your uncle Antony!--your aunt Hervey!--my young lady!--and my young master!--and Mr. Solmes, with the air of a great courtier, standing up, because he named you:--Mrs. Betty, said he, [then the ape of a wench bowed and sc.r.a.ped, as awkwardly as I suppose the person did whom she endeavoured to imitate,] pray give my humble service to Miss, and tell her, I wait her commands.

Was not this a wicked wench?--I trembled so, I could hardly stand. I was spiteful enough to say, that her young mistress, I supposed, bid her put on these airs, to frighten me out of a capacity of behaving so calmly as should procure me my uncles' compa.s.sion.

What a way do you put yourself in, Miss, said the insolent!--Come, dear Madam, taking up my fan, which I had laid down, and approaching me with it, fanning, shall I--

None of thy impertinence!--But say you, all my friends are below with him? And am I to appear before them all?